“Just because someone claims me as his mentor doesn’t make it so.”
That’s what I said last summer at a seminar I held in Florida.
“I don’t care how many of my books you’ve read,” I continued. “I don’t care how many of my audios or videos you’ve listened to or watched. If I’m not in direct person-to-person touch with you on a regular basis, I’m NOT your mentor.”
Back in 1999, when I was training in person with Karl Gotch, one of the many mentors I’ve had over the years, he used to talk about the people who claimed they were coached by him.
To help me verify who was telling the truth, Karl put together a secret code that he shared with me. From that day on, anyone who claimed he learned from Karl, wasn’t fooling me. By asking him a couple questions, I could immediately ‘fact-check” him.
The way I see it, to be someone’s “mentor” means you are deeply engaged. It’s not superficial. And it isn’t so just because someone proclaims it so.
Meeting someone a few times doesn’t a mentor make. Talking to a teacher doesn’t make you a mentee. Again, there is regular engagement in person or via an audio or video conference.
There is also a level of respect that gives away whether or not you were mentored by someone.
For example, Olympic champions Dan Gable and Bruce Baumgartner were two of my collegiate coaches/mentors. With both of these men, I would NEVER refer to them publicly, or on social media, in a sarcastic, joking manner. I wouldn’t put up a photo of the two of us standing together and make a crack comment.
Oddly enough, I’ve seen people do this on social media.
Here’s a seemingly hypothetical example:
Ah, here I am with my mentor. He’s a good one, even though he’s bald, hahaha.
I assume that if I put something such as this up on social media about Gable or Baumgartner, they would not only be correct in rolling their eyes, but in never talking to me again for the rest of their lives.
All great mentors have what I call, “The Do NOT talk to for the rest of my life list.”
It’s hard to get on this list – but once you do, it’s almost impossible to get off it. Once the door closes, it’s sealed shut.
Yes, you forgive the person for his or her idiocy – but you also move on.
Do you have a “Do not talk to for the rest of my life list?”
If not, it would be a good idea to create one. Having a list such as this is one of the secret keys to keeping yourself in a positive state of flow.
And I’ll be covering this matter and much, much more with members of my Mind Power Monthly Coaching.
Want to be involved?
Drop me a line and I’ll forward you the details.
Matt Furey
