Last night I eavesdropped on the College World Series.
The baseball game was between Vanderbilt and North Carolina State. Per usual, the outcome ended up being a heartbreaking loss for one pitcher, and a glorious victory for another.
Vanderbilt pitcher, Jack Leiter, whose father, Al, pitched in the major leagues, carved up the other team… yet lost, 1-0.
One pitch, and a good pitch it was, got knocked out of the park by Terrell Tatum of North Carolina State.
Other than the homerun, Leiter was phenomenal.
One swing of the bat did him in.
His Vanderbilt team, the “defending” national champions, are now playing in the consolation brackets.
What to do if you are the pitcher who lost? Focus on the one pitch that sailed over the fence? Blame yourself for the team’s loss?
Or do you look for and find something positive to focus on?
It’s tough to focus on what you did correctly after a loss. It’s tough to look for the positives, the “what’s good about it?” But it is necessary if you want to recover and move on to bigger and much better opportunities.
Even though focusing on the positive is necessary, the same can be said about looking at what went wrong.
We make mistakes so we can learn from them. We make mistakes so we can grow and get better. And sometimes we don’t even make a mistake, and we end up with a result we didn’t want, desire or expect.
That’s life.
Losing in sports, especially in front of thousands of fans and/or a nationally televised audience, can traumatize the brain at a deep level. Some losses are easy to put behind you while others do long-term damage. The losses you naturally adjust to are no big deal; the ones you hold onto are the ones that become “blocks.”
Athletes who lose in big games sometimes feel that “everyone” is looking at them with contempt and disdain. In some cases, fans are ruthless and give that impression (Bill Buckner and the Red Sox fans are a prime example), but most of the time most people are focused on their own problems as soon as the game ends.
This was first told to me at a low point in my athletic career. A professor who was in the audience when I lost a hard-fought bout, took note of my sullen demeanor the next day. He called me to the side and said, “I know losing sucks. It hurts. But one of the things you need to realize is this: No one cares.”
Ouch! I’m not sure which stung more at that time. Losing, or being told that no one cares if I lose.
Here’s the most important takeaway: Your reaction to losing and your interpretations of comments from well-meaning and/or diabolical fans, can be a traumatic experience for the brain. Even so, there’s an incredibly effective way to tame and transform this trauma and use the energy from it to create the life you want.
Anyone can learn how to do this. It’s not just for athletes. And the process leads to feelings of euphoria.
Part of taming the trauma involves the self-image exercises in Theatre of the Mind and Zero Resistance Living.
The other part involves private or group coaching.
If you sense that you have “blocks” to moving ahead, then get started today. Turn the tide in your favor. Tame your trauma. Say goodbye to the agony of defeat.
Best,
Matt Furey
