Back in February, my son’s senior year of high school baseball began, and as the saying goes, “all bets were off.”
I don’t know what it is about this game, which no parent should EVER allow his or her son to play. unless, of course, you want
to teach your child how to overcome mistakes and feelings of failure – which he will probably NEVER encounter in any other area of life. (Sarcasm intended).
The team went 24-4 and finished in the Final Four at the state championships – which is to say – they were doing great… until they LOST.
Yes, I still HATE losing – even when it’s not me playing the game.
By the way, one of the worst things you can say to someone after a loss is “congratulations.”
Hearing “congratulations”after you lose in the semifinals or finals, sucks beyond all rational comprehension.
It really does.
The very BEST thing you can say to a player after a loss is….
“It hurts, I know and I understand.”
Then give the player a hug and let him know you love him and are proud of him, regardless.
Back in the early 1990’s, when I was learning about the power of deep breathing at an entirely new level, I spoke to my instructor, Nancy, about how strange I felt leaving my old home and moving into a new one.
I mentioned how I felt a sense of loss, even though I couldn’t wait to move out of the old and into the new.
Nancy nodded and replied: “Anytime you make a change and leave someone or something behind, the emotion of grief is present. You may suppress it, but it’s there.”
Is there grief when a season ends? When a child graduates? When a daughter gets married and moves on?
Is there grief when your team loses the World Series, or the Super Bowl?
You better believe it.
This is why you see grown men cry after losing a pivotal game. It’s not because they are cry babies or can’t take it. It’s because they are human beings feeling an overpowering emotion.
Getting past the grief is necessary, though, as it’s pretty hard to operate when you’re filled with sadness.
The fastest ways to assuage the pain and rid yourself of the grief and sadness are as follows:
1. Breathe deeply and let the feelings come up. As you continue to breathe, they will dissipate.
2. Talk to others who understand and are compassionate.
3. Write about it. Let your feelings pour onto a piece of paper – preferably by hand.
4. Do something physical – such as walking, punching a heavy bag, stretching, etc.
5. Most powerful of all, look for and find the positive memories stored in your brain or “personal cloud.”
Download those memories. Relive them. Re-experience them. Make the memories come alive again – and use them to step into the future once again, willing to take risks with confidence and courage.
As you do so, realize that mistakes and failures are there for a reason – and the reasons are almost always a huge positive, as well as an unseen and currently unimagined benefit to you in the long run,
Discover how to do all of the above at a superhuman level by reading Psycho-Cybernetics – or by investing in the more advanced course entitled Zero Resistance Living.
And it that’s not enough, then enroll in my Theater of the Mind Facebook group.
All for now,
Matt Furey
P.S. Also, if you want to learn how to write emails such as this one, and dramatically improve your business, then go here.
