On the drive home I asked, “Did you feel a bit nervous when you saw me watching you today?”
“Yes,” she replied.
“Did you try harder when you saw me?”
“Yes.”
“Were you trying harder because you wanted to do a better job for me than you’d normally do when you practice?”
“Yes.”
“That’s what I thought. Well, I have some advice for you on this if you’d like to hear it.”
“What is it?”
“If you see your Daddy looking through the glass, pretend he’s not there. Don’t try to impress him. Don’t try harder. Don’t try to do more than you normally do. That doesn’t work. Just do what you do and tune me or anyone else out.”
“How do I do that?”
“There are many ways, but one of the best is to imagine a brick wall to the side of you. No one can look through this brick wall. You’re by yourself, totally focused, even when you know you’re not. Can you picture a brick wall right now?”
“Yes.”
“Can you feel how it blocks someone else out?”
“Yes, that works pretty good.”
“Great. Now, just so you know, I had a similar discussion earlier today with a ball player. He was trying to impress the scouts who were at his practice, so he started trying to do more than ever before, and guess what? In trying to do more, he didn’t. If he’d have just been himself and put a wall up to block out the scouts, he’d have been a lot better off.”
The moral of the story is simple: First of all, don’t TRY. The very word “TRY” is guaranteed to make matters worse. Second, if you try to do even more to impress others, you won’t. You’ll do less.
Just DO what you’d normally do and the impressing will take care of itself.
This is where the psychology of what you do is so incredibly important. A dancer’s steps or moves do NOT change because someone else is watching or because you’re on a different stage.
A ball player’s throws, swings, passes or shots don’t change either.
The above applies to anything you’re involved in, whether business, academia, theatre or sports.
If what you’ve been doing is working, trying to do more or do even better won’t lead to more progress. But awareness will of your breathing, your thinking and your body as you do what you do.
I’ve said it before, and written it, too. The word “try” is demonic. It’ll curse you. It’ll cripple you and make you stumble.
The word “DO” is enough. Don’t try to do it. Don’t “just” do it.
Do it. That’s enough.
Be it. Do it. Live it.
That’s the ticket … to the big show.
Best,
Matt Furey
P.S. It’s all about ridding your body/mind of “resistance.” Resistance to success, fear of failing or falling, fear of disappointing others, etc. For deeper instruction in these methods, I suggest the Zero Resistance Living System – or private coaching/mentoring.
