Several years ago, a client told me that when he grew up, he thought his father was perfect.
He never saw his father fail in anything, much less make a mistake.
As a result he grew up with trying to be perfect, the way he envisioned his father to be.
And every time he failed, he felt worse and worse about himself.
After he told me this story, I made sure to do something new, something I wasn’t good at, in front of my son and daughter, so that they could see me zig and zag, to “make mistakes and correct course.”
I took up the sport of bowling… left handed.
I hadn’t bowled in years and didn’t have much in terms of refined technique, even when I bowled right handed.
But left handed? I was beyond awful.
The first four balls I threw went straight into the gutter.
Nevertheless, my son and daughter watched me shake off one mistake after another, and keep on when all looked hopeless.
They saw me get a coach who worked with me on the mechanics and the strategies. They observed me as I took in information I didn’t know, how I took notes, and how I practiced what I was taught.
And when, at first, I didn’t do what I was taught correctly, they saw me remain calm, take in the corrective feedback and make adjustments.
As time flies, it wasn’t long before they saw the transformation in my game. But being bowling is a sport of accuracy, they were still going to see a lot of mistakes and failures.
Within a year I was closing in on bowling 200 with my left hand.
Several times I was sooooo close, and then I screwed up at the least opportune time.
Ugh.
Then one day I wrote my goal of bowling 200 on a sheet of paper with my left hand, and whatdyaknow, the next day I went out and made it happen.
My son and daughter got to witness all of this, and from it they learned the process of creating a successful result.
The moral of this story is NOT to take up bowling. It is to make sure your children at least hear about your mistakes, your struggles and your failures.
Make sure you let them know you are a mistake maker but you are also a mistake breaker. And so are they.
Otherwise, your children may falsely conclude that you never do anything wrong, that they are the only ones who botch things.
Here endeth the lesson.
Matt Furey
P.S. I am in the process of creating an all-new Theatre of the Mind Mastermind Group. If you’re interested in ongoing guidance from yours truly, then send an email to me by clicking here.
