A reader asked,
Hey Matt. When’s the best time to focus on my goals? I get up and get busy cooking, then eating breakfast… and then I feel as though I lost out on when I should have been focusing. But I don’t feel as though I have the time to sit down before I cook and eat to do it. What do you recommend?
Jeri
And I responded as follows:
Hi Jeri. I recommend you eat your goal for breakfast, along with your food. Instead of thinking of two separate activities, knock both of them out in one full swoop. Have your goal for the day before you as you are eating. In between bites, or whilst you are eating, look at your goal and picture it being a done deal. And stop with the ‘should haves.’ There is no ‘should have.’ You either do something or you don’t do it. In your case, do two things. Eat your goals.
Matt Furey
QnA on “I Can’t Believe It”
Holy Hurricanes.
The email I sent out a couple days ago, entitled “I Can’t Believe It,” an email that I fully expected to cause some major blowback, created quite the positive stir instead. Numerous high-level performance coaches wrote to express how meaningful the message was, and how they passed it on to their clients, who just so happen to be Olympians, professional athletes, CEO’s, etc.
Yes, I believed my message would fall on deaf ears – and guess what? The opposite happened.
Sri Vishwanath, author of numerous best-selling books, proclaimed my email “the article of the century.”
Is it?
I don’t know and I don’t really care. The compliment sure is nice, though, and is greatly appreciated.
Anyway, a few questions came in on this topic, and below is one I want to go over with you today:
Marc wrote: “So you mean, picturing and feeling as if a goal is already accomplished will work, even if you don’t believe it will work?”
Furey: That’s not what I was writing about, but you have raised an important point that takes me back to the summer of 1985. I was working a wrestling camp in Ashland, Oregon, and a guest speaker in the real estate profession, gave a talk about visualization and how he didn’t believe it would work when he first learned about it. So he decided to “test it” and find out. He begin to mentally picture achieving a specific short-term goal.
Make a note: He did NOT start off with high-hanging fruit. He began with a goal that stretched him… but NOT so much that it would frighten or scare him. This is important. And to his surprise, the goal he was picturing came into being. So he tested it again. Same thing happened. After a few more tests, he was now convinced of the power of visualization and believed in the process. Yet, the techniques he used worked in spite of his skepticism.
The above represents why I frequently tell my clients that you want to use a method that works even if you don’t believe in it. If you have an infection, you don’t want to take an antibiotic that only works because you believe it will work. You want a method, a way that is so powerful, it doesn’t matter if you believe in it, or in yourself, for it to work.
Years ago, when I lived in California, and my elbow was injured and swollen, one of my clients, Don, told me he would bring an herbal solution to help eliminate the pain. I scoffed at the idea. The next session Don brought the herbs. I thanked him but refused to take them for a few days, thinking some other method would work. All the methods I tried that I believed in, failed. In utter frustration, I applied the herbal solution to my elbow. I didn’t believe in the herbs – yet within minutes the pain was gone. I truly couldn’t believe what I experienced, yet it happened.
The above represents why I am writing to tell you that success is NOT due to your unlimited beliefs; likewise failure is not due to your limiting beliefs.
There are a number of factors that help create success, and the most powerful one, in many instances, is using the power of mental imagery, which incidentally, I BELIEVE was given to all of us by a Creator.
Here endeth the lesson.
Matt Furey
Looking for coaching in the methods I am relaying here, then reach out to me at here.
“I Can’t Believe It”
Last weekend, as I watched the finish of the 2020 Women’s Olympic Marathon in Tokyo, Japan, I took out my camera to record the interview with Molly Seidel, who won the bronze medal, becoming only the third woman in U.S. history to medal in the event.
“Oh my God, I can’t believe it,” Molly said after the race. “Just getting here was already a dream come true. And to be able to come out today against a field like this and to be able to come away with a medal, a bronze, for the U.S., uh, I’m in shock. I’m in disbelief right now.”
I sent the video clip I shot to Jack, a client, with the following line: “See what I mean? Here’s even more proof you don’t need to believe you can do something in advance to make it happen. Picture the goal. Picture it daily. Picture it with enthusiasm. Picture it BIG. Then get to work. And after you walk through your goal, the reality is you still might not truly believe that you did it, even though you know you did. Achieving a goal can be a surreal experience.”
Jack replied: “So even at the Olympic level, athletes don’t fully believe in themselves.”
“Correct. At every level this is the truth you’re not being told. Athletes battle fear, worry, self-doubt and the doldrums that often accompany defeat.”
“So the idea of an athlete entering the ring without any fear whatsoever…”
“Is pure bunk,” I interjected. “30 minutes before I stepped out on the mat in the world championships, I was more than just a wee bit nervous. But then I calmed my emotions and cleared my mind. I gave myself a blank slate, so I could go out there and perform without unnecessary tension.”
“Did you believe it after you won?”
“I believed that one – but other victories still astound me. The thing they all have in common is picturing a result and then going after it without thinking too much about it. Picture and go.”
“What you’re telling me reminds me of the long jumper in the Olympics,” Jack mentioned. “I think it was the 1968 Olympics.”
“Yes, you’re talking about Bob Beamon. He leaped so far in his first attempt that he broke the Olympic record by 55 centimeters. And get this, he physically collapsed after the feat, not from exhaustion, but out of disbelief. He couldn’t believe he did what he did. So Beamon didn’t leap as far as he did because he believed he would. It’s the same as the little ole lady who lifts the car off her loved one. She doesn’t lift the car due to her belief, but due to her mental imagery and the adrenal surge the mental image created.”
“So I don’t need to spend all my time trying to override my existing limiting beliefs?”
“Correct. Picturing what you want is the key. And last time I checked, you don’t need to believe in order to picture.”
Here endeth the lesson.
Matt Furey
The Enjoy Your Life Crowd
Last week I was in Nashville, speaking at an event as well as tasting the incredible food the area offers. I was working and having a good ole time.
On Friday evening I got together with a friend and client, Ken, who lives there. As Ken and I sat around talking shop while munching steaks and pounding calamari, he explained some of the cultural differences between Tennessee and Florida.
“If you hear someone honk at another car, in order to hurry them along, everyone who lives in Nashville immediately knows the person honking is a tourist,” he said. “Nashville people don’t honk at anyone. There’s no need to hurry. Enjoy your life.”
Those last three words, “enjoy your life,” were used by Ken about fifty times over the next five hours. And they got me thinking about what you choose to focus on.
When I was a collegiate wrestler, I didn’t focus on whether or not I was enjoying myself. I focused on putting in the work that would lead to a national championship.
If someone were to interrupt my training to ask, “Are you enjoying yourself? Are you enjoying your life?” I wouldn’t relate to the question at all.
Of course I was enjoying myself, even when the training was somewhat tortuous. I was doing what I set out to do.
Sometimes the reality of a choice is tough. Sometimes it’s easy to say yes or no; sometimes it’s hard. But enjoyment isn’t the end-all, be-all.
When I was training for the World Kung Fu championships, no one ever asked me if I was enjoying myself, but I did have someone who tried to interfere with my weight-cutting process.
I was sitting in a sauna in Beijing, getting a sweat going to drop the last few pounds before weigh-ins. Once the beads were dripping off my skin, I put on a vinyl suit as well as a pair of cotton sweats. Then I put on a winter cap, left the sauna and jumped on a treadmill.
“Are you okay?” a man asked as he saw the sweat pouring off me.
“Yes,” I replied, looking the other way to stifle the conversation.
“You are sweating too hard,” he continued. “You will be too tired when the competition starts.”
“I didn’t ask for your opinion,” I said.
“Enjoy yourself. Don’t work too hard,” he added.
“Could you please do me a favor?”
“Sure. What can I do to help?”
“Go talk to someone else. Leave me alone.”
I wasn’t in Beijing to enjoy myself. I was there to win a world championship. Winning the world title, as well as the other matches, was enjoyable. Cutting the weight? Not so much. Yet, it had to be done for me to compete and win.
If my highest value was “enjoyment,” then I wouldn’t have bothered cutting the weight. I also wouldn’t have won the title. That’s the way it goes.
Enjoyment is a natural byproduct of creating the results you want. You don’t need to be thinking about it or pondering it. You don’t need to be asking yourself if you’re enjoying what you’re doing. The real question is whether or not you’re getting what you want out of life.
If your objective is to get to a certain weight, you can enjoy all the food you want when you got out with friends. But when you step on the scale the next day, perhaps you don’t enjoy what you see staring back at you. Keep this in mind as you make your choices.
Yes, there are times when your sole objective may be enjoyment, such as a vacation. You’re not attempting to create anything or reach any goal when you’re taking time off from “the grind.” But when you have a goal in mind, there’s no rule that says you must enjoy every step along the way. Some steps are enjoyable and some steps suck. That’s the way life is organized.
Sometimes, even saying no to your favorite food or beverage is a wise choice.
If enjoyment alone is the standard of measurement, I don’t think you’re doing as well as the person who is willing to make sacrifices on the way to the goal. It’s not one or the other; it’s both.
Here endeth the lesson.
Matt Furey
The Agony of Defeat
Last night I eavesdropped on the College World Series.
The baseball game was between Vanderbilt and North Carolina State. Per usual, the outcome ended up being a heartbreaking loss for one pitcher, and a glorious victory for another.
Vanderbilt pitcher, Jack Leiter, whose father, Al, pitched in the major leagues, carved up the other team… yet lost, 1-0.
One pitch, and a good pitch it was, got knocked out of the park by Terrell Tatum of North Carolina State.
Other than the homerun, Leiter was phenomenal.
One swing of the bat did him in.
His Vanderbilt team, the “defending” national champions, are now playing in the consolation brackets.
What to do if you are the pitcher who lost? Focus on the one pitch that sailed over the fence? Blame yourself for the team’s loss?
Or do you look for and find something positive to focus on?
It’s tough to focus on what you did correctly after a loss. It’s tough to look for the positives, the “what’s good about it?” But it is necessary if you want to recover and move on to bigger and much better opportunities.
Even though focusing on the positive is necessary, the same can be said about looking at what went wrong.
We make mistakes so we can learn from them. We make mistakes so we can grow and get better. And sometimes we don’t even make a mistake, and we end up with a result we didn’t want, desire or expect.
That’s life.
Losing in sports, especially in front of thousands of fans and/or a nationally televised audience, can traumatize the brain at a deep level. Some losses are easy to put behind you while others do long-term damage. The losses you naturally adjust to are no big deal; the ones you hold onto are the ones that become “blocks.”
Athletes who lose in big games sometimes feel that “everyone” is looking at them with contempt and disdain. In some cases, fans are ruthless and give that impression (Bill Buckner and the Red Sox fans are a prime example), but most of the time most people are focused on their own problems as soon as the game ends.
This was first told to me at a low point in my athletic career. A professor who was in the audience when I lost a hard-fought bout, took note of my sullen demeanor the next day. He called me to the side and said, “I know losing sucks. It hurts. But one of the things you need to realize is this: No one cares.”
Ouch! I’m not sure which stung more at that time. Losing, or being told that no one cares if I lose.
Here’s the most important takeaway: Your reaction to losing and your interpretations of comments from well-meaning and/or diabolical fans, can be a traumatic experience for the brain. Even so, there’s an incredibly effective way to tame and transform this trauma and use the energy from it to create the life you want.
Anyone can learn how to do this. It’s not just for athletes. And the process leads to feelings of euphoria.
Part of taming the trauma involves the self-image exercises in Theatre of the Mind and Zero Resistance Living.
The other part involves private or group coaching.
If you sense that you have “blocks” to moving ahead, then get started today. Turn the tide in your favor. Tame your trauma. Say goodbye to the agony of defeat.
Best,
Matt Furey
The Worst Question in Self-Development
The first time someone asked me the worst question in self-development was back in 1990.
My first thought was, “What a creepy thing to ask? What do you want to know that for?”
Over the years, I’ve heard more and more people asking this question and my opinion of it hasn’t changed.
What’s the question?
It is this: “And how did/does that make you feel?”
Various forms and guises of this question are now prevalent in everywhere, including in professional sports, during their post-game interviews.
Reporter: “How did you feel when you hit the homerun? How did you feel when you scored your first touchdown? How did you feel when you sunk the game winning shot?”
Everything is about feelings with almost no insights into the “inner game” or strategy of the athlete.
Good questions are almost completely absent from interviews today, much less useful coaching.
Instead of discovering what someone was thinking, which may include his or her feelings, reporters, teachers and coaches isolate the one thing they think matters most. And the truth is the one thing they think matters the most usually matters the least.
Feelings are a factor in properly positioning your mind for success, but when it comes to overcoming adversity, to rising above deep difficulties, to accomplishing a goal, the caveman mentality often works best.
Look at the images the caveman drew upon the wall for his fellow cavemen to see. Listen to him speak about what he drew.
See those buffalo? Those deer? Tomorrow we go hunt and bring home. You want? Raaaaaaaahhhhh.
The goal is established. Sights are now set. The only thing left is action.
At no time does the caveman ask, “And how does tomorrow’s hunt make you feel?”
When you visualize, you mentally picture your goal. You also imagine and pretend you can hear the sounds and feel the feelings of getting what you want. All three of these senses are important; so are the others that I didn’t mention. But feelings are not driving the bus. Images playing within the mind of the bus driver dictate where the rig goes.
Your self-image is most important. It is the blueprint for where you’re going in life. Your feelings are a factor, but they are far from being the most important one.
Never answer the question, “And how does that make you feel?”
Focus on your mental images and you’ll get along much better.
Matt Furey
Zig-Zag Your Way to Success
Tue, Jun 8 at 10:51 AM Success comes in a straight line, but only after you’ve zigged and zagged your way to the finish.
When lightning strikes, it appears to be a zig and a zag, but when you draw a line from top to bottom, you’ll be amazed when you see the straight line.
Moving from Point A to Point B is a whole lot easier when you realize that switchbacks and winding roads are part of the straight line to the top.
As you journey through life, you are heading toward a goal even when you think you are off target. The mistakes and setbacks you encounter along the way are essential corrective feedback that you need in order to win the prize. No one achieves anything without mistakes. Errors along the way are just as important as the shots you make. Without mistakes, there’s no way to truly succeed.
There’s a reason that errors, mistakes and setbacks come before the word “success” in the dictionary.
Being able to stand back and observe your mistakes without getting upset about them is the hallmark of a winner. Another prized quality is the ability to observe what you did correctly when you succeeded, and figure out how to duplicate it.
If you can remember the feeling you had the first time you sunk a free-throw or caught a ball that was thrown to you, you’re setting yourself up for more of the same. But if you sit and brood over the mistakes you’ve made, the missed free-throws and dropped passes, you are not thinking about coming up with a way to succeed.
When you see your mistakes, instead of dwelling on them exclusively, ask yourself what you want to accomplish. Picture a result you want to make happen. See yourself where you want to be, then engage in the actions that will take you where you want to go.
Notice that I did NOT advise you to completely avoid looking at your mistakes. Take a good look at them. Study them. Then use the corrective feedback of the mistakes you made as a launchpad to where you really want to go.
Remember, you can travel the road to success in a straight line, but there will be zigs and zags in that line.
Here endeth the lesson.
Matt Furey
P.S. If you want coaching in the process I’ve just described, click here.
One Breath at a Time
Frustration naturally arises when you’re trying to picture yourself in the future, but you feel stuck in the now.
This often leads to not wanting to do anything to achieve your goal, because the objective is too far off – or you encounter feelings that you can’t do it, so there’s no use trying.
“Let’s slow this train down, shall we?” I once told a client who was driving himself nuts. “You’re already talking about what you’re going to do when you’re 60 and you’re not even 40 years of age. Let’s start taking care of today. Better yet, let’s take care of your next breath.”
“What will focusing on my breath do for me?” he asked.
“For starters, it’ll help you eliminate fear, worry, frustration, self-doubt and feelings of failure,” I replied. “Beyond that, it will help you begin creating results that you can take pride in… today. But if you’d rather feel uptight most of the time, stick with what you’re doing. It works.”
He took what I told him seriously and began to focus and visualize the way I taught him.
After a year, he texted me to proclaim, “I can’t believe it. I was just doing my taxes and I doubled my income. I was in shock, so I double-checked the numbers, and sure enough, I was correct the first time. I’m stunned.”
“And how many years did you get the same-old results using the other methods?” I asked.
“Too many to think of at this time,” he answered.
“That’s a reply I enjoy hearing. One breath at a time, eh?”
“Yes. One breath at a time.”
Matt Furey
P.S. Want to get Psycho-Cybernetics coaching and take your game to the next level? Then click the link in the preceding sentence. This is the opportunity of your lifetime. Seize the day.
About that Big, Scary Goal You’ve Set
This morning a guy in the sauna started rapping with me about the power of big goals; especially the ones that scare you and force you out of your comfort zone as you supposedly take “massive action.”
I was laughing inside as he spoke because I’m aware that he hasn’t achieved a single one of his big goals, and I’ve been watching and waiting for well over ten years.
The guy insists on big goals, the big dream, the grand hurrah. But it never comes.
Meanwhile, he would be far better off focusing on what he can control in the here and now. What goal can he accomplish TODAY?
It’s wonderful thinking you can control what is going to happen in your life ten or twenty years from now. But the truth is that most people will NOT be the same as they are today, a year from now, much less five or more years down the road. This means, chances are excellent that the one who is writing the 20-year blueprint for his or her life today won’t even exist when that day comes around.
“Where you going to be in five years?” I was asked.
“Five years?” I replied. “You want to know where I’m going to be in five years? How about you ask me what I’m going to get done today, or this week, or this month, or at the furthest, by the end of this year?”
There’s a reason that Dr. Maltz recommended daily goals in Zero Resistance Living – and that is the advanced course on Psycho-Cybernetics.
In short, if you’re not able to focus on and achieve a daily goal, you’re not ready for a bigger, scarier goal with a longer time frame.
Prove to yourself that you can focus on something today – and make it happen. Achieve one new goal everyday for a year, and I bet you will have run a hundred laps around those with the big, scary goals who can’t get themselves off the sofa; or those who go into each day frightened and worried that they might fail.
On a daily basis, give yourself the experience that you are WINNING.
When winning becomes a daily habit, it becomes a long-term reality.
Same can be said about losing.
In order to establish momentum in a positive direction, you need daily feedback that shows you that you’re making something good happen in your life. This isn’t happening with the long-term goals.
Focus on the achievements in the NOW and you’ll make people look up and say WOW.
See it. Feel it. Live it.
Matt Furey
Clearing Negative Emotions Fast
As you’re probably aware, almost two months ago, my father passed away at the age of 97. Even though I realized his departure from this earth was imminent, when the finality of the news hit, it definitely shook me up.
Thankfully, I had a number of healing routines I could follow. I could pray. I could meditate. And I could practice Theatre of the Mind.
But there was something else I did every single evening, and it cleared away the negative emotions, without any effort whatsoever. What I practiced every night is a type of moving meditation called Dao Zou, I learned more than 15 years ago.
When I first learned this system, I had no idea that one day I would be using it and teaching it to help people overcome negative emotions, including the emotions of grief and sadness. But I’m sure glad I had this knowledge in my tool box because it made a huge shift in my emotional state whenever the seemingly unshakeable feelings would surface.
Each night when I began, I didn’t feel up to the challenge, but I recognized how to overcome my own resistance to the routine by focusing on taking small steps. Not big ones. Nothing major. Just a few steps in reverse.
After a few steps I would tell myself, “Just give me 100 steps.” When I had almost reached 100 steps I was eager for another 100, and so on.
At 500 steps I felt so good I could have stopped, but the urge to keep going, the internal impetus to transcend and rise above it all was telling me to keep going.
Keep going, I did, until I reached 2,000 steps. Then I jumped in the sauna for at least 20 minutes.
The sauna alone is great for toughening yourself up mentally – but I don’t recommend doing it before purging the grief and sadness from your system.
Each evening, after Dao Zou and the sauna, I would go to bed feeling so much better. But the next day, at some point, another layer of grief would emerge.
What to do now?
How about the same thing you did yesterday?
How about you rinse and repeat what works, realizing there is no “one time fixes all” approach in the self-development or spiritual world.
Brush your teeth daily. Shower daily. And clean your mind daily with some form of meditation, prayer or visualization – or all of the above, if necessary.
After 10 evenings of daily Dao Zou, I woke up one morning with an unmistakable feeling of inner peace about my father’s passing. What a glorious moment.
The results I got this time around, proved to me once again, that Dao Zou is much more than a health and fitness program. It’s a healing program that emphasizes moving, instead of trying to sit your way to feeling better, which doesn’t work.
Dao Zou can help clear the mind-body of sadness and grief, as well as worry, self-doubt and fear.
It can also help you learn other skills faster than anything I have ever seen or witnessed. It truly is the Ultimate in Moving Meditation as it catapults you into an incredibly vibrant state of consciousness.
Now you can claim your copy of Dao Zou at a ridiculously low amount. And if you prefer, you can download it digitally and begin practicing almost immediately, giving you instant proof of what I’m writing about.
Discover the power of moving meditation NOW.
Claim your copy of Dao Zou.
See it. Feel it. Be it.
Matt Furey
