Yesterday morning one of my Facebook followers wrote to wish me a Happy 2018, then remarked how he’s going to put 2017 behind him (it wasn’t good) and focus on making this year a great one.

Many others resounded the same theme via email and text messages. A few told me about their resolutions for 2018 and how they’re going to finally achieve their goals.

My thoughts about this way of thinking is as follows:

“If tackling a year at a time didn’t work for you last year, why you doing it again?

How about living in the present moment, at least once per day, for a minute or two.

Perhaps part of the reason that the previous years wern’t as good as you wanted is because you tried to mentally tackle the entire year, at the onset, and a one-year chunk is too big of a bite for you to swallow.

You can whip yourself into an excited state before you go to bed, but the next morning you’re going to wake up fearful and ultimately frustrated. That’s what tends to happen, most of the time, when you attempt to live life LARGE.

You cannot live your life in the future or in the past, even if your mind is stuck there. You can only utilize the present moment as best as you know how at this time.

‘But, but, but, but, but, but… I have this goal to make a fortune this year,’ you say.

That’s great. Now put that goal on the back burner and forget about it because your chances of achieving it will be far greater if you focus on the front burner.

Take care of today. Take care of NOW. Take care of each and every breath you take. Take care of your next step – not your next 1,000,000.

If you’re going to set goals, set goals you want to work on because you believe you can achieve them.

Set “today goals.” Or “half-day” goals. Or morning goals. Or “during today’s practice” goals.

Make it simple.

When you simplify your focus, you no longer need to sit around pondering what your negative beliefs and thoughts are and how you can change them.

Your negatives will fly out the window because when you’re creatively alive in the present, there’s no way you can simultaneously ponder all the negatives.

Today is January 1, 2018.

Live today, TODAY.

Live today, NOW.

Forget about the entire year for now and focus on what you can do, a bit at a time, on this day, at this time.

Make it easy for yourself to win.

Win the day. Win the moment..

Rinse, repeat.

After doing this for a day, do it for another day, and then another.

A year later, if you’re so inclined, you can look back upon the past 365 days in absolute shock, thinking, “Did I really get that much done?”

Yes, you did.

Matt Furey

P.S. Instead of “motivational” musing or tips, I’ve decided to have some fun and call them by their namesake, “mativational” – i.e. written by Matt, minus one “t.”

P.P.S. Interested in coaching from me, then go to here.

P.P.P.S. You can also follow these musing on Facebook by looking for me under @mativationaltips

We’ve been told that there’s magic in thinking big.

I agree.

At the same time I believe there’s even more magic in small thinking.

By small thinking I don’t mean negative thinking, or thinking that you’re not worthy, of no value, or anything of the sort.

My meaning is that we tend to scare ourselves when we think TOO BIG.

We set goals that are big – and we feel a burst of excitement, even enthusiasm.

Then we open our eyes the next morning and we are frightened, even terrified.

Fear causes stagnation. Fear causes paralysis. So it makes no sense to set goals that “scare you.”

If we set goals that scare us, we tend to sit and ponder why we’re not moving, why we’re not taking action, why we’re procrastinating.

The ballplayer who focuses on hitting homeruns, who tries to hit them, who “muscles up” to hit them – will, in almost all circumstances, be profoundly disappointed.

Yet, the player who focuses on putting a good swing on the ball, who dives deep into the tiny parts and particles of his swing, will probably amaze himself and others at how good he becomes.

He will have a much greater opportunity to become a homerun hitter then the player who is desperately trying to become one.

By adjusting your focus to the small, easy-to-overlook details that no one else is paying attention to, your results grow tall, amazing one and all.

This means you can achieve bigger results by thinking smaller and taking smaller actions.

Thinking small puts you into the present moment, helps rid you of fear and frustration – or what we tend to call “anxiety.”

Call it fear – call it what it is – and you’ll conquer it, now, in the present moment.

And if you employ this same type of focus tomorrow, you’ll conquer it again.

Matt Furey

OOOH – by the way, I had a huge response to my email about opening the door to a few more private coaching clients. If you want to be considered, take a small step and simply write me an email to express your interest.

 

“Your suggestions (ideal goals) must be made without effort if they are to be effective.” – Emile Coue

Consider the quote shown above while taking a deep breath.

So many times we think we can get where we want by straining and striving.

Yet, the secret you’ll see in all the top professionals is they make what they do look easy and effortless.

There’s no strain or stress on their faces when they are at their best. They are calm, relaxed and in control.

And so it is with the use of imagination when picturing or thinking about goals.

If your face is tense, if your eyes are straining, if your muscles are stressed, this means you’re probably in a state of fear, doubt or worry – and you aren’t “attracting” what you want.

Imagination is play – not work.

You’re mentally pretending.

You’re wondering or supposing.

You’re definitely not straining.

Question: In what simple way can I use the principle of Effortless Effort today?

Matt Furey

If you want to be successful in something, is it better to use a “small steps” approach or a “massive action” approach?

The answer: It depends.

It depends on who you are.

It depends on the approach that’s worked for you in the past, often without you being aware of it.

It depends upon which approach is sustainable.

It also depends upon how many small steps actually make up “massive action.”

Perhaps, in the end, they’re the same – or they end up in the same place, albeit with different lingo to get you started.

If a person is 100 pounds overweight and hasn’t exercised in years, I would suggest small steps lingo for getting fit.

If a person wants to become a novelist, small steps again.

But if there’s a catastrophe, which approach is better?

On the outside, massive action appears to be the order of the day. Yet, when you break “massive action” down, what will you see?

A thousand or more steps, each of which, when viewed as a whole, look HUGE.

When it comes to visualization, I do not advocate 30 or 60-minute sessions.

For someone starting out, 15 minutes is probably too long as well.

How about getting started with five minutes – or even a minute?

Coax yourself along. Don’t force yourself.

This may appear inadequate to affect change, but I have seen the small steps approach work over and over again, in virtually every field.

When I coach people I literally break things down to the simplest, easiest steps imaginable.

If any step appears difficult, too hard or scary, I strike it.

I realize this flies in the face of many, many maxims, such as “get out of your comfort zone,” – yet, I’ve found it to work wonders.

More on this in the future.

In the interim…

See it. Feel it. Do it.

Matt Furey

Yesterday I sent an email to my fitness list at MattFurey.com, extolling the positive benefits of walking and jumping rope.

I wrote about a client who has gone from 477 pounds to 300.

No small feat, even though he’s still on the journey.

Getting fit, losing weight and exercising are all just as much a mental game as a physical one.

There are incredible psychological and neurological benefits to both walking and jumping rope, including awareness training on practices such as focusing on your breathing or counting the number of steps or jumps you are on.

Counting is good for the brain – and last time I checked, taking a deep breath or two is life-affirming, too.

So is looking at both sides of an issue…

One reader of yesterday’s email wrote to tell me that I missed the mark, that in the case of rope skipping. no rope was required.

He explained to me that, based on Psycho-Cybernetics, you could practice all the jumps without a rope, and get just as much benefit. Moreover, you’d feel great because all your jumps would be perfect.

What this man wrote contains some truth.

There is great benefit in “shadow boxing.” Not only did Dr. Maltz reference this in Psycho-Cybernetics, but I did so as well in the Theater of the Mind program produced by Nightingale-Conant.

Yet, there are other essentials for the brain that you obtain from jumping rope that are going to be missing if you’re jumping without a rope.

First, without a rope your brain and nervous system doesn’t learn timing and rhythm. It’s not just jumping, it’s knowing when to jump and having your jump get in sync with your hands and the rope.

Second, without a rope you are not developing spatial intelligence. With a rope your brain must learn where the rope is in space and time. You must know when the rope is overhead and beneath your feet, in front of you and behind you, as well as where your hands, wrists and arms are.

Third, Psycho-Cybernetics does not advocate doing things perfectly or never being challenged to overcome misses, setbacks, errors or failures.

On the contrary, much of the book is about zig-zagging your way to success, to enhanced skills, to a better way of practice.

If your brain isn’t being challenged to learn something new, on a regular basis, or to correct mistakes, then you may feel great about feeling perfect, but you’re making a huge mistake.

Part of the glory of learning to jump rope or the attainment of skill in any other area, is going through the mistakes. It’s learning to overcome them – not to figure out ways to avoid looking bad.

Yes, shadow boxing and practicing without any pressure to “get it right” is powerful. But where there’s a yin, there’s a yang.

Both are key.

Practice without pressure.

Make mistakes – correct course.

See it. Feel it. Be it.

Matt Furey

Four days ago, as Hurricane Irma blew her way through the state of Florida, I had a decision to make.

Do I show my faith and trust in God in the midst of potentiallycatastrophic conditions, or do I take my family, including my father, who is 94 years young, to a supposedly safer vista?

On Saturday morning I decided to travel to less volatile pasture, going to Niceville, of all places, in the Florida Panhandle.

While there I watched with amazement as the people we visited, turned the cacophony in the south into a celebration.

Friends and family sat outside, feasting and being merry. Not a worry or concern in the whirld (misspelled intentionally).

The gentleman who persuaded me to go north, to his abode, watched the news and made his predictions.

His forecasts proved nearly as accurate as the weather people.

What’s more, as he watched, he’d smile and proclaim,

“Irma is right over your house in Tampa right now. Your new santuary is being torn to shreds. Your house is getting blown apart.”

Recognizing a good sparring partner when I hear one, I rejoined with what would happen to his big screen idiot box, how it would be shattered and sliced into unrecognizable sheets of “nothing burgers.”

Instant rapport.

Well, Irma moved over my home and the only damage was in the backyard, wherein five of my bamboo trees were swayed to the ground.

They bent all the way over – and true to their nature, did not break.

While replanting them Tuesday morning, I remembered the line I read before going to China for the first time in 1993. ‘Twas a maxim on how to handle tough times:

“Be like bamboo. Bend with the wind to avoid the hurricane.”

When Irma was gone and I was told that all was safe and sound in my area, oddly enough, I felt a sense of regret.

We could’ve just stayed home. My friend in Niceville had no intention of leaving, even if Irma was on top of his home.

He epitomized the Hemingway code of “eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may die.”

He encouraged people to come hang out with him, when realistically, he didn’t know if his town was any safer than his own. I queried him about this, especially his intention to NOT leave no matter what, and his only retort was a smile as he proclaimed,

“The reason I wouldn’t leave is because I’m a bad ass.”

Ouch.

If only I could have made two simultaneous decisions and have both of them be correct.

My next door neighbor stayed put. Other friends and collegues did so as well.

My son and daughter wanted to stay, too.

And I made a choice to “duck and run.”

I really felt badly about this.

I felt my decision was cowardly. I felt that I failed to give my children an opportunity to face adversity and be courageous.

On one foot I felt grateful that our home was spared. I felt grateful all of us survived.

I expressed gratitude that everyone I knew who stayed behind remained safe and sound.

But damnit….??? On the other foot, a feeling of letdown.

This juxtaposition of emotions was disturbing.

Yesterday, in conversation with my friend, John, he related, “Don’t dwell on this idea for another moment. Your children have already seen you do at least 1,000 things that exemplify courage. Focus on the 1,000 things – not the one you wish you could do over. I’m sure your children aren’t bothered by the decision you made – why should you be?”

And there we have it, once again, the Psycho-Cybernetics way out of the maze of negative thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Focus on what you’ve done well. Focus on how you’ve been courageous, confident, focused, determined, disciplined and so on, in the past, and you’ll reinvigorate those same emotions in the now.

Until I did what I “already know” there wasn’t a single person who could sway my opinion about the choice I made to leave the area.

Not even my 94-years young father, who, believe me, was incredibly grateful I took care of him on the voyage, could convince me that I made the best decision.

Ultimately, as it is in all matters, we must convince ourselves.

When applying Theater of the Mind, when going back and reliving moments of courage, the feeling of let down evaporated – and I could get on with the living of business – or is it the business of living?

Naturally, as well as sarcastically, I’m thinking that no one reading this email has EVER experienced a strange emotion around an event or circumstance, including one that was supposedly dire.

But if you ever do, thank God you have a memory and the ability to recall the good, the powerful and the positive.

Being reminded of this factoid is important, regardless of who you are or what you’ve done.

Now, what will I do next time?

That’s a great question.

I believe I’ve learned a lot from observing the courage of others (which you may view as stupidity).

Sometimes the courageous thing may be leaving the danger zone – at other times it may be appropriate to stay.

Be flexible in your ideas, your approach and in how you picture yourself in your mind’s eye.

“Be like bamboo. Bend with the wind to avoid the hurricane.”

One thing I can say for sure, next time around, when the “Be Safe” mantra is being served en masse, I’m going to respond as follows…

“Be Courageous. Do What’s Best for You and Your Family.”

Matt Furey