Psycho-Cybernetics - See Yourself at Your Best

Matt Furey's Super Human Success Blog

More Power With Less Effort

by

In the wide world of sports and martial arts, coaches who are “in the know” make statements such as…

“Nice and smooth.”

“Less is more.”

“Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.”

“Let yourself go.”

“Let your body do it.”

“Try easier.”

“Play loose and relaxed.”

Now, you might think this is all well and great for athletes and martial artists – but what’s it got to do with “me?”

Well, my friend, as the saying goes, “You’d be surprised.”

As I spoke about in Theatre of the Mind – whether I’m coaching someone in business, or writing, or public speaking, or tai chi – the answer is still the same.

Inhale – exhale.

Before every pitch. Before every swing. Before every shot or play.

Inhale – exhale.

Before you write, before you do surgery, before you recite a word in a spelling bee or paint the fence.

So much of feeling good about ourselves boils down to how we breathe and how much tension we hold in our bodies.

The same goes for how we perform any given task.

This is why the most important “first” step in changing your self-image, is to change the way you breathe and the way you feel.

It is NOT to change your beliefs or your thinking. It is NOT to set new goals, better goals, more specific goals – or to develop a “killer plan of massive action.”

The first step is following the naturally just so. And what is natural is easy to find by observing the newborn baby.

What does the baby do first?

The baby breathes.

The baby is also incredibly relaxed – and this is why babies are able to learn so quickly. This is why they will absorb and believe virtually anything you teach or say.

This is why it’s no surprise to me NOW (it was then), that the very first lesson I had in tai chi back in 1991, was with a Chinese master who told us the secret to getting good was to become a baby again.

This meant I needed to learn to breathe the way babies naturally breathe – and to relax the way a baby is naturally relaxed.

Deep breathing and physical as well as mental relaxation habits, these are the hallmarks of the high achievers you want to model and emulate.

And that’s why I spent so much time speaking about it in Theatre of the Mind – (the 10+ hour program that Nightingale-Connt published for me in 2013.

It’s also why members of my Theatre of the Mind Facebook group are raving about it.

Inhale – exhale.

Nice and smooth.

And change your life for the better.

Matt Furey

The Price Ain’t Right in Boston

by

A few days ago I was reading about the Boston press, and how there’s no love between them and lefty pitcher David Price.

The press and fans detest his woeful record against the New York Yankees, whom he pitched against last night.

Not surprisingly, Price was defensive when answering questions – just as the great Ted Williams was.

And last night, Price got shellacked once again, which will undoubtedly lead to more bad press today, as well as more bad vibes from the fans.

Now let’s analyze this in a Psycho-Cybernetics sort of way.

You have a great pitcher, a former Cy Young award winner. He’s being paid well over 100 million dollars to robotically perform at his best, regardless of whom he plays, regardless of when or where, too.

And if he doesn’t do the job, i.e. he isn’t the robot the fans and the media expect him to be, the way to fix the situation is through condemnation and humiliation.

How’s it working out so far?

It’s not.

If you want David Price to pitch well against the Yankees, instead of reminding him before each outing, how he NEVER pitches
well against this team, why not remind him of all the games he pitched in and won on the way to winning a Cy Young?

Why not take him back in time to an outing, even an inning, against the Yankees, wherein he pitched well?

Why not help him OUT of the corner?

Instead of doing so, the media pushes him further into it while simultaneously expecting a different result?

And what they get is more of what they say they don’t want… while expecting a different result, a different Price to show up.

Insanity.

Give me fifteen minutes with David Price and he’ll stride to the mound with confidence – against the Yankees or anyone else.

I’ll put him through a high-octane Theatre of the Mind, reminding him of his greatness, and he will begin to perform better and better.

But when he comes back to Tampa?

Uggh, I’ll be rooting for Price’s former team.

See it. Feel it. Be it.

Matt Furey

When Good Things Happen to Bad People

by

Don’t know about you, but there are millions of people who wake up and go to bed each day thinking they are “bad.”

I suck.

I’m terrible.

I’m no good.

I can’t.

I’m horrible at … (fill in the blank).

Yesterday a young man from India reached out to me, claiming that he is a “total failure” when it comes to communication and relationships.

Being a “total failure” is impossible because everyone has at least ONE moment in time wherein he or she communicated effectively.

And that ONE instance is where we begin to turn bad into good.

We find the spark of goodness, the speck of a memory, the single moment or instance in time when you did something you can be grateful for.

It’s helpful to understand that even those who are really good at what they do, those who are professionals, go through moments in time wherein they think they are bad at what they do – or bad as a person.

One of the greatest hitters of all times in the sport of baseball, Tony Gwynn, used to get so down on himself that he found the best cure was to crank the music in his SUV, roll down the windows and scream…

“I SUCK”

as loudly as he could.

Now, this advice goes against the grain of modern day positive thinkers may say, but it’s absolutely the best thing Tony Gwynn could do to get himself out of a slump.

Don’t sit around moping and whining about how poorly you’re doing – SHOUT IT OUT.

But turn the music up first.

Why?

Because the music takes you out of the limbic brain – and the shouting on top of it gets the crud out of your system.

Shouting it out makes room for good to replace the bad.

Shouting is just one way that bad people can get good things to start happening.

Understand, you’re not shouting at others. This involves you and you alone – along with the loud music.

Do this a few times for about five seconds and you’ll understand.

Now, for those of you who have Theatre of the Mind – you may recall the story of Nick Nurse – and how he wrote to tell me he’d be coaching in the NBA before I turned 50.

Well, guess what?

Nick Nurse is now the head coach of the Toronto Raptors in the NBA.

Both of us hail from the same home town of Carroll, Iowa.

Both of us are living proof as well, that good things happen to baaaaaad people.

Congratulations Nick. You’re the best.

See it. Feel it. Be it.

Matt Furey

Don’t Make Your Bed Again Until You Read This

by

Think of it. Speeches are given. Books are written. Success gurus have spoken.

Thou shalt maketh thy bed upon arising each day.

“Uh, why?” asks the Fure-Cat.

“Because it’s your first success of the day.”

“Because when you return home at night, you come full circle.”

“Because it proves you can get stuff done.”

“Really? You think so, eh?” I contend.

“If that’s all you have, it sounds to me that this is one of those ‘because I told you so’ moments.'”

Yes, I realize that many people think a made bed is important. The same goes for a clean desk. Both of these are so vitally important to some people that they’ll get into squabbles and fights over these “truths.”

Yet, from my Zen cave on a remote island, I couldn’t care less about a made bed or a desk stacked with files, books and innuendo.

A clean desk doesn’t prove you’re a genius and a made bed doesn’t prove you get stuff done. They may prove that you wasted
energy on matters that don’t really matter.

Einstein wore the same clothes every single day and he had a messy desk. I assume he never made his bed either.

Oh, and he slept 10-11 hours per day and got up at 8:30 AM.

And Einstein is NOT alone.

Genius doesn’t come in a one-size-fits-all package.

There are geniuses who make their beds and clean their desks – and there are those who have someone else do it – or they don’t
do it at all – and don’t care.

What’s really most important and what will truly make a monumental difference in your life is discovering “how to organize and make up your mind.”

You can make your bed and clean your desk and still be a mess internally. On the other hand, you can leave your covers in a heap and have stacks of files on your desk, and be internally organized.

Upon awakening, how about mentally reviewing your goals for the day?

How about visualizing what you want to accomplish? How about being grateful for what you have already accomplished in this wonderful life we get to live?

When you do the above, you may feel so doggone good that you walk past your unmade bed, your messy desk – and you end up getting MORE done each day rather than less.

See it. Feel it. Be it.

By the way: If you want to exponentially ramp up your ability to get things done by making up your mind – then get your future award-winning hands on Theater of the Mind NOW.

Many people believe this to be the BEST audio program ever created.

Pretty amazing when you consider it was created on a messy desk and by someone who laughs at those who think making their bod is a “key” to success.

Matt Furey

P.S. Come join my Theater of the Mind Facebook group as well – for more insights and provocations that truly work.

Ancient Bad Advice that’s True

by

2,500 years ago, in the Chinese classic called the Tao Te Ching – Laozi wrote the following….

“Act without doing.”

As you read these words, you might do a double-head shake. At first, these words barely appear reasonable or accurate, especially in a whirld* wherein the maxim of the day is to…

“take massive action.”

Hmmm, put thee pondering cap on, my friend, as you’re about to enter the zero resistance zone.

Consider the superb professionals in ANY field and how we regard them:

The professional speaker who makes the very thing many people fear the most look easy.

The surgeon who is operating for eight or more hours on the same patient and has no sense of time.

The NBA star who swishes free throws without looking.

The writer who is in a trance-like state as she cranks out a novel.

The chef who tastes his dish to reassure himself he’s still living on planet earth.

All of these people are acting – but none experience themselves as a DOER.

These pros are so much in the NOW that neither time nor resistance to action appear to exist.

They think, they imagine and then they are spontaneously catapulted into doing – albeit effortlessly so.

Whether they are taking a few tiny steps each day – or 100,000, they never really feel as though they’re doing anything, because ultimately there is only…

“one step at a time and one breath at at time.”

Being aware of this, LIVING this, means you are in the FLOW STATE, the Zero Resistance Living state of mind.

This is…

“act without doing.”

See it. Be it. And do it without doing it.

Matt Furey

P.S. A few recommendations for you in regard to the above:

Zero Resistance Living
Theater of the Mind
Psycho-Cybernetics – Updated and Expanded

P.P.S. I would also encourage you to join my
Theater of the Mind Facebook group 

The Greatest Motivator in the Whirld World

by

In high school I was told that I’d never make it to the state tournament, and after I did, I was told that I’d never beat the defending state champion, whom I faced in the quarterfinals.

Done deal.

Then I was told I’d never wrestle for one second in an Iowa uniform.

Done that, too.

I was told that no one would read my writing if I deliberately mizpelled werds or used improper grammar.

HA!

I was told if I published my own books – no one would ever buy them.

Phooey.

I was told the style of advertising I wrote would never work.

Hurrah.

Of course, I’m bragging big time, but doing so with YOU in mind.

Whenever anyone tells you NEVER or NOT, thank the heavens above. They’ve just given you something almost as good as a dunk in the river Jordan.

Words are powerful – and sometimes the most negative words are the most positive. What some think of as negative causes the polar opposite to manifest.

When someone is told “You’ll NEVER be this or you’ll NEVER be that” – the chances of mysteriously catapulting this person into that very position are INCREASED – and sometimes dramatically.

Not always – but it happens so often in the lives of the successful that it’s easy for me to crown the word “NEVER” as the super-heavyweight champion of the WHIRLD.

Does NEVER cause the hair on the back of your head to stand up?

Good.

Now, here’s something I NEVER thought I would EVER do.

I set up three different Facebook groups – even though I’m not a fan of FB. If you’re not and stay completely away, I understand.

But if you’re willing to take a peek – you might find something positive afterall.

You might also be amazed – as well as understanding about why I’ve been putting most of my commentary on these groups.

I can now quickly communicate and “socialize” with those of you who enjoy my books and courses on Email Copywriting, Psycho-Cybernetics, Theatre of the Mind and CombatConditioning,

Listed below are three groups I’ve started that you may want to be a part of.

There is an approval process for each of these groups as well as a limit to how many people I will accept.

So if you want to increase your chances of being accepted, click the links below:

Email Copywriting Group

Theatre of the Mind Group

Combat Conditioning+ Group

See Ya,

Matt Furey

Expect Nothing, Achieve Much

by

About four years ago, before I started a tai chi class with my instructor, I thought I would give him a gift.

Twas a Furey fan favorite entitled, Expect to Win – Hate to Lose.

I didn’t think I could go wrong giving this book to my teacher.

He looks at it, pauses, then says, “You know, if I were writing this book, I would have titled it….”

He proceeded to tell me why the title wasn’t very good, in his viewpoint, and gave a couple reasons to justify his opinion.

I stood a few feet away and listened, then we walked to the center of the floor and began our lesson.

No harm – no foul, even though this was definitely not the norm for how someone responds when given a gift, especially a gift you wrote yourself.

Over the years I’ve pondered this situation a few times, especially as my thinking evolved on a number of topics, including the concept of expectation or “expecting to win.”

I’m now of the opinion that sometimes it feels as though it’s a good idea to “expect” the best – but more often than not, for many people much of the time, having high expectations leads to the worst results.

People who set big goals, who think big, who follow all the procedures and advice of so many of the self-development gurus
of this day and age, are going to be let down in a BIG way. They are going to be profoundly disappointed.

They’re not just going to be let down, however, because they can’t achieve their dreams or goals.

They most certainly can.

The let down is more a result of using self-help in the wrong way, of being misled to think you need to be unnatural to attain a big goal.

And when the unnatural actions and ideas don’t yield the results you EXPECTED, you end up feeling CRUSHED.

This is most definitely the case in sports, in career advancement, in writing, in selling, in rearing your children – and the grandbaby of them all – politics.

When you expect to win and you’re victorious – all is well in your world.

But when you expet to win and you lose – especially when you lose to someone who supposedly had no chance to beat you – you’re not only crushed – you’re probably depressed.

I’ve watched this play out in sports such as baseball so often it’s practically guaranteed to happen when you least expect it.

Two years in a row my son’s high school baseball team was ranked in the top ten in the state. In the first round of districts they faced a team with a record south of .500 – and I mean, way south.

Both years they expected to win. Both times they lost.

Uh-oh. Now what do you do?

As a result of my tai chi practice, as well as closely observing what is and isn’t true, based upon results, not pie-in-the-sky theory, I can tell you that the sequel to Expect to Win – Hate to Lose will not be…

Expect to Win – Volume Two.

Instead, it’ll be something along the lines of Expect Nothing and Achieve More.

Yet, the above assumes I’m going to write a sequel – yet, as of now, I have no expectation of doing so.

Does the above mean that I don’t believe in goals or goal setting?

What it means is I believe in goals and goal setting that is natural, that causes flow instead of fear, that causes success even
when that is not what you’re focused on.

Setting goals that scare you is NOT NATURAL.

Neither is massive action or sitting around working on changing your limiting beliefs.

There is a naturally just so to life and to living.

There is a rhythm.

When you force success you cause a blow out somewhere down the road.

When success is a natural extension of who you are – you will live the life others dream about.

As for yourself, you still have to pinch your cheek from time to time and ask, “Is this for real? Did I really do all of THIS? Unreal.”

Think of it this way, in baseball, if you approached your pitcher before a big game and told him you expected him to throw a no-hitter, or a perfect game – you would most assuredly screw him up.

The same would happen to the golfer whom you told to hit a hole in one as he was teeing off.

But if you focus this athlete on the small – he may surprise himself and win it all.

Matt Furey

P.S. For coaching opportunities – go here…

Why Simple is Difficult

by

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Very simple advice, eh? But how many can do either?

“Honor your father and mother.”

Very difficult. I’ve heard of people who won’t lend a dime or a hand when their parents are ailing.

Pay attention to your breathing. Watch your inhale – observe your exhale.

Simple advice that goes to the very core or root of our aliveness. How many people can do it?

A few years ago an LPGA golfer wrote me to say she’d read my book, but was not sure the role deep breathing would play in helping her game. She couldn’t wrap her mind around her breathing having anything to do with a golf swing – much less the game itself.

Hello.

Heavens to earth.

The fact she reached the pro level shows how much ability she has – yet how much is underutilized because the most fundamental principle is bewildering to her.

Hug your spouse and children once a day. Or your loved ones. Or one more time per day if you already do so.

Simple step, isn’t it? No need to complicate it. Just do it and watch what happens.

Now when it comes to the idea of goals and time management – let’s take a simple idea of “getting more enjoyment out of life” and make it complicated, shall we?

Instead of simple, small goals that you believe in and can wrap your breath and being around – that’s not good enough.

Isn’t it better to set BIG GOALS – especially goals that SCARE you? After all, a small goal couldn’t possibly be big enough to get results.

What?

Or how about this?

Instead of getting starting with one step – jump into the game with MASSIVE ACTION – then you wonder why you’re not getting anything but frustration.

To top it off, you make things even more abstruse and complicated by attempting to follow spiritual ideals of “getting rid of your ego” – a very egotistical idea if you ask me. But hey, I’ve got a bigger ego than anyone else who has ever lived.

Is your ego smaller than mine? Good.

But why you keeping score? Is it you doing so or your ego?

[Yes, I’m having fun here – that’s why I write. Egotists write to entertain their narcissistic natures.]

Moving along now – another good one is to give up all desire.

I’ve succeeded in doing the above – for periods of time – and I can tell you – and so can my ego – that being free of desire was never a desire in the first place – and that’s probably why it happened.

[I’d say that’s WHY it happened but that would be too opinionated – and I’m trying to curb my opinions so that I can keep my ego in check.]

Another simple idea gone bad – because it’s too complicated – is living one day at a time.

You cannot LIVE one day at a time. It’s not possible.

You can only live moment to moment – in the now.

You can abuse the NOW and use it to worry about the future or feel bad about the past – but NOW is all you ever get.

I believe in living life one breath at a time – not one day at a time.

As for goals, that’s where one day at a time works when keeping score – but even so, the idea of doing or not-doing, is easiest when you focus on short segments of time – and one day is too big a segment.

In fact, an hour or two is usually too big as well.

Give me a minute of this and a minute of that and I’m good to go.

Or five or ten minutes – at most.

Not because I have a limited attention span – but because all of us do – it’s only natural.

Being natural is truly natural when you make simplicity really simple.

Avoid the complicated.

Avoid self-help that complicates the naturally just so, and turns simplicity into confusion.

I will conclude now with some very simple advice that will make you feel much, much better.

Observe your inhale – observe your exhale – but only for a minute.

Matt Furey

Instagram – @fureycatmatt

P.S. You can light up your brain, your life and your career or business when you learn the art of simplicity. You can even easily surpass your absolute best when you follow this natural process. Want coaching in this? Then go here…

 

Don’t Answer This Question

by

I was teaching at a camp in 1984, giving a “mativational” talk to a group of wrestlers. At the and I asked for questions:

“What are your goals?” one of the boys shouted from the pack.

“None of your business. Next.”

The crowd laughed.

A year later, after giving an updated talk at the same camp of nearly 300, I began yet another Q n A segment.

“What are your goals?” a boy asked.

“You were here last year, weren’t you?” I replied.

The boy nodded.

“And you asked the same question last year, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I did,” the boy sheepishly grunted.

“Well then, what was my answer a year ago?

He remembered: “You said it was none of my business.”

“Very good,” I smiled. “You have an excellent memory.”

The laughed that year, too, as I proceeded to the next question.

The above brings me to an explanation of yet another motivational self-help myth – and that is the idea that you MUST “announce your goals publicly.”

The idea that making your goals public will help you is almost always false.

Most of the time it’s a sorry will power manipulation methodology and forced “show how much you’re committed” scheme, whereby, in order to avoid embarrassment, you feel forced to take “massive action” to accomplish your goal.

Once again, this strategy works for some people, so I’m not against it, (even though I do delight in poking fun of it).

What I am FOR, however, is elevating the 95% or so of the people for whom this tactic does NOT work.

There are many valid reasons that the will-power manipulation scheme of announcing your goals, doesn’t work.

Here are a few:

1. The announcement of the goal applies pressure to the individual – and often times this pressure amalgamates the brain –
causing a fight or flight response. This fear response then causes the person to be paralyzed with fear. Instead of now being compelled to take action, the person takes minimal or no action – and feels as though he or she is a failure.

2. Oftentimes, when a person announces a goal, especially to a crowd, it results in phony applause and contrived congratulations. or just as bad, an amalgamation of doubters who unintentionally hurl disbelieving energy at you.

If you feel good with the applause, your brain can interpret this as sufficient. There is no need to achieve the goal – after all,
you’ve already gotten the praise you so desired from the announcement alone.

Unwittingly, this trains the brain to announce goals, not to accomplish them – because the love and appreciation come from coughing up ideas, not from making the ideas become reality.

Conversely, if you haven’t yet established a solid foundation of confidence, and you announce your goal, which is followed by upturned sideways lips and doubting glares, you have just been energetically assaulted by what might just as well be a cadre of professional doubting Thomases.

In order to be unaffected or empowered by doubting Thomases or glad-hand congratulators – a high degree of proven performance and mental momentum must be established. Otherwise, the fawning praise, the “thank you for sharing” reflex-responders and the nasty naysayers will cause all your hard won enthusiasm to be diffused.

You’ll take a seat and wonder why all the positivity you felt before you made your announcemnet is now nowhere to be found.

In most cases, the only person you are wise to announce your goal to is a coach who has your best interests at heart – who has
experienced success in many arenas (not just writing a book about it) – and who will flat out tell you if your cart is before
the horse.

Many of the goals people set are not “user-friendly” to their brain and nervous system.

Which is even more reason I place the idea of announcing your goals publicly to be just as unhelpful as the other self-help myths I’ve been writing about.

Matt Furey

P.S. If you’re looking for a coach to guide you through the maze of misinformation, go here and tell me more. Yes, there will be a question about your goals – but you’re neither announcing it to the world – or going to hear false praise or “thank you for sharing” from me.

The Myth of Goal Setting

by

A great many people who’ve attended courses in self-development, have a negative reaction to the word “goal.”

The word “goal”registers as an expletive, a filthy four-letter word. Every time these people hear it they are reminded of ALL the goals they set and never achieved.

In fact, many people who set goals, despite all the rah-rah of the self-help teachers, cannot honestly point to much success at all using the process.

You can test your internal reaction when you read the following phrases:

“What are your goals?

You gotta have goals!

You cannot be part of the top 3% unless you have clearly written goals with plans for their accomplishment.

You cannot get rich, lose weight, become a (fill in the blank) without goals.

No one ever succeeds without a clearly written goal.”

What if I told you that ALL of the above are not necessarily true?

The idea that your goals MUST be in writing and MUST be clearly defined fits in the same category as the equally false advice about making sure you THINK BIG, take massive action, set goals that scare you and get out of your comfort zone.

The above may be true for a very tiny group of society, but it’s NOT true for everyone – myself included.

Many of my top achievements were NOT written down, nor did I have written plans.

How about you?

Am I against having written goals? Or plans?

No.

What I’m for is helping you figure out who YOU are and how YOU get things done.

I can thank my children and tai chi for helping me discover what I’m telling you.

Almost every day I practice the so-called slow motion martial art known as tai chi.

I’ve been going at it for years – and I am continually and continuously improving.

Yet, I have no written goals about the art and how good I should be.

Even so, I”m on the trail of tai chi and am constantly thinking about it – looking for tiny or seemingly insignificant ways I can make myself a little better.

As a result of looking at the SMALL – doing the opposite of thinking big – I’ve made major and dramatic improvements. So much so that every time I think I’m getting good, a new wave hits that catapults me to unexpected heights.

My daughter is the same way with dancing.

She’s never had a written goal about it. And she’s now on her 10th straight year of constant improvement.

In my son’s case, whenever he has set very specific goals, he has faltered. Yet, when he focuses on the journey and the process, his concentration and his results are staggering.

I can go on and on about this subject for days, but the real person I want to help is YOU.

Take a few moments and ask yourself a few basic questions:

1. What percentage of the goals I set for myself do I actually achieve?

2. How often do I feel paralyzed with fear and/or frustration a day or two after setting goals?

3. Am I taking less action or more after I’ve set goals for myself?

4. How often am I able to live in the present moment and enjoy my life?

5. Have I ever set goals and noticed that “all hell breaks loose” – i.e. the opposite of what I intended begins to manifest?

Again, these are some basics to get you rolling.

Matt Furey

P.S. Want coaching in Psycho-Cyb, Info Publishing, etc.? – then go here and fill out the application. We’re in the process of interviewing over the next couple weeks and would love to see you go to the next level in all your endeavors.

Free PDF of Theatre of the Mind Newsletter

Free PDF of Theatre of the Mind Newsletter

Hello and welcome to Psycho-Cybernetics.com - the official site for the original (and expanded) teachings of Dr. Maxwell Maltz, author of the 35 million copy best-seller, Psycho-Cybernetics. I’m Matt Furey, author of the best-selling Nightingale-Conant audio book, Maxwell Maltz’ Theatre of the Mind.

When you subscribe to our Psycho-Cybernetics emails, I will immediately send you an email containing a FREE PDF ($100 value) of my Theatre of the Mind Masters Newsletter called Defeating the Failure Mechanism, which also features a Dr. Maltz piece, When Positive Thinking Doesn't Work. This highly regarded newsletter will show you how to apply the suggestions contained within it into your own life… and make changes for the BETTER!

Best,
Matt Furey
President, Psycho-Cybernetics Foundation

You have Successfully Subscribed!