Two young boys who grew up in the same neighborhood pick up a crayon for the first time and begin to draw.
The first boy has parents who offer encouragement, regardless of whether he colors outside the lines or draws straight lines.
Whenever they see the slightest improvement in his drawing, they make note of it and tell him he’s getting better. They live in the present with their son, giving him realistic, achievable daily pointers. They refrain from comparing him to others his age. Instead they focus on helping him be a little bit better than he was yesterday. If he isn’t, no sweat. Just keep drawing everyday, if that is what you want to do.
Forty years later, the boy is a famous artist. Asked how he got so good, he says, “I did so gradually, step by step. There was never any pressure on me to become good, so I enjoyed drawing and kept doing it. Then one day I woke up and realized I was really good.”
The other boy’s parents were quite a bit different. The first time he picked up a crayon to draw, they immediately began telling him how much talent and potential he had; they even began talking to him about how he needed to “work hard” at this if he wanted to become a famous artist; to be the next Vincent Van Gogh, or Salvador Dali.
Instead of giving easy pointers to their son, they pointed out what he was doing wrong. They showed him the drawings of other boys and girls in his age group, and point out that his drawings were not as good as theirs.
The boy retreated into a shell, thinking that he could not draw. He gave up.
Forty years later, this boy remembered the mental pictures from his past, the ones that were the supposed proof that he “cannot draw.”
For the first time in his life, he wondered if his mental pictures were wrong; he asked himself if he was taught wrong.
He decided to give himself another shot with another teacher who would take things step-by-step; one who put no pressure on him to be as good as the great ones.
One year later, the “little boy” inside this grown man is stunned because he now sees a new reality. He CAN draw. He can draw in spite of the fact that he was convinced for most of his life that he couldn’t.
Here endeth the lesson.
See it. Feel it. Be it.
Matt Furey
P.S. Small incremental improvements without pressure is the way to go. There’s tremendous power in the flip side of the coin; the opposite of the “think big” approach. And this includes learning how to see yourself and what you want out of life in a new way. Many people have the erroneous idea that they cannot visualize, that they’re doing it wrong. It’s the same as growing up thinking you cannot draw. Yet, learning how to visualize is no different than learning to draw. And this is why I teach a simple approach, one where you don’t compare yourself to others, or to a fictitious standard of how you’re supposed to do it. I reveal this procedural method of visualization, and much more in my Theatre of the Mind Intensive, to be held Wednesday, February 19. It will be a “level one” training, containing key elements that even the most advanced practitioners have never learned. The fee for this intensive is $247.00. Interested? Email me: goals@psycho-cybernetics.com and I will send you the link to enroll. It’s going to light you up!
