A lot of people ask the wrong questions.
“How are you going to do that? How are you going to make more, do more, be more?”
These are what I call “What the H?” questions. They are out of line, as well as out of order.
Your top priority is having your “what?” established.
A “what question” asks you to search your mind for a specific target. A “how question” tends to begin an internal debate about whether the target is within the realm of possibility.
There is a time and a place for “how questions,” but it is NOT before you ask “what questions.”
Picture what you want. Choose a specific target. After doing so, you can ask yourself how you’re going to pull it off, how you going to get it done.
Or, better yet, you can continue asking yourself what questions, such as, “What am I going to do to get this done? What am I prepared and willing to do to create this result?”
One of the biggest keys to using Psycho-Cybernetics effectively is establishing the WHAT before the HOW.
“What’s my goal for today?” causes an entirely different mindset than, “How am I going to get through today?”
What questions get you to think in terms of possibilities that can become realities. How questions keep you locked in resistance-mode over whether or not you can accomplish something.
Replace your how with a what –
and you’ll walk with a strut.
See and experience the difference –
of living life without resistance.
See it. Feel it. Become it.
Matt Furey
P.S. More on turning How into What in my best-selling Nightingale-Conant program, Theatre of the Mind.
P.P.S. For information on coaching with me, go here
My Father’s Gratitude
My father was laid to rest yesterday afternoon in Florida National Cemetery. ’twas a grand moment to observe the military salute, the playing of Taps and the meticulous, respectful folding of the flag.
Since the passing of my father, who was 97, and a veteran of WW II, I am eternally grateful, not only for his life and the lessons he taught me, but also for the prayers and positive thoughts sent to me by so many. I have done my best to acknowledge everyone who has reached out to me in anyway. If I have overlooked you somehow, please accept my apologies as I say, “thank you” again.
Last weekend, a man wrote to tell me that there was no need to thank anyone, that the focus should be on me, my family and what the emotions we are dealing with. I appreciate this man’s words, but there is just no way I can do as he suggested. I literally feel compelled to thank each person who has written me, called or who came to see me at my father’s funeral.
This sense of duty is not something I came up with or read in a book. It was instilled in me by my father.
Just before Christmas, when my dad was in the hospital for a few days, I watched him thank every single nurse or doctor, every single time they came into his room, to help him. Whether he was brought a straw, a glass of water or a napkin, he would thank the person who helped him.
When a nurse was taking my dad’s temperature, he conveyed his dismay that he was unable to send Christmas cards to family because he was hospitalized. The nurse looked up and said, “Oh, I think they will understand.”
As I recall so many precious memories with my dad, feelings can volley around the court from one emotion to another. Thank goodness for my nightly practice of Dao Zou – which has definitely benefitted me in ways I did not foresee when I initially released the program.
I’m telling you about Dao Zou now because it continues to help me process and ultimately detach from emotions such as grief and sadness. There is no attempt to suppress or control the emotions with the program. You let the emotions flow as you rewind your mind and effortlessly enter another dimension; a dimension where peace that surpasses all understanding becomes part of you.
If you’re aware of someone who is battling sadness or other negative emotions, this non-thinking way to detach from them definitely works. I practice Dao Zou every night before bed – and I cannot stop raving about what a difference-maker it is.
Again, “thanks mucho” to all who have written me. Your words of comfort are greatly appreciated.
Best,
Matt Furey
Best Way to Practice Anything… and Get Good
The best way to practice something and get good is to do what almost nobody teaches.
Instead of applying more pressure during a practice or training session – you do the unthinkable: You eliminate the pressure from the equation.
As soon as you add the element of pressure to a practice, over-anxiety, over-motivation and excessive tension show up.
You can read all about this in Chapter 13 of Psycho-Cybernetics.
Each time I read this chapter, and I’ve been reading it since 1987, I get a new insight, a new idea, a different way to apply the teachings.
Shadowboxing is an example of how to practice without pressure. It was something I first began doing as a high school wrestler, but we called it shadow drilling.
When I used shadow drilling regularly, my results were off the charts. But because no one ever pulled me aside and told me about this “secret,” I didn’t realize until later on the correlation and connection between the victories I attained and the quiet solo workouts I had late at night when most people were sleeping.
A friend who played professional basketball and now coaches in the NBA, told me how he would get up early in the morning and shoot free throws when no one else was around. No crowd. No coach. No other players.
Zero pressure.
Did this help him improve his free throw shooting? In a big way.
Re-read Chapter 13 again. Mark it up and highlight it.
But do so in a quiet room when no one else is around.
I think you’ll find more than a few life-changers in those pages.
Matt Furey
Note: If you want to learn the details within the details of how to apply Psycho-Cybernetics and Theatre of the Mind, if you want to catapult yourself to the next level of success, then contact me about coaching.
Being Natural
One afternoon, many years ago, I was watching a documentary about a world famous preacher, and how he was being schooled in the art of public speaking, or what some might call, “giving a sermon.”
After numerous failed attempts to speak effectively, the teacher asked the preacher, “Do you know what you’re doing wrong?”
“Yes,” he replied. “I’m not being natural.”
“Correct,” said the teacher.
And so it goes with virtually anything we want to learn. We can get instruction from someone in order to maximize our abilities, but that instruction serves us best only when it helps us rediscover a sense of natural-ese.
We were most natural when we were infants. At that time we breathed from our lower bellies without instruction. We also moved with a spirit of relaxation. We smiled and laughed frequently. And we quickly let go of our mistakes.
Then we got educated and life became several scoops and helpings of unnecessary tension.
Getting back to being natural is what you accomplish with Psycho-Cybernetics and the Theatre of the Mind process. You stop fighting yourself and allow yourself to grow back into who you were when you were at your best. And that WHO was the person who was being natural.
It’s the you who knowingly or unknowingly, pictured what was wanted and went after it with gusto.
Rewind your mind. Become natural again.
Matt Furey
P.S. Interested in being part of my Mind Power Monthly Coaching this year. If so, drop me an email and tell me more.
When You’ve Got that Winning Feeling
I’m betting you’ve heard it said (and read), that belief is the key to living a successful life.
Supposedly, we have “limiting beliefs,” and they are holding us back.
Oh my, so many people think, what to do to change them?
Many people proceed to go on a rampage to get rid of or upgrade the limits in their lives. They write out various statements to change their old beliefs into new and empowering ones.
This approach misses the obvious. And the obvious is that beliefs are naturally upgraded, without effort, when you have that winning feeling, otherwise known as FAITH.
Below are a few lines that came to me recently:
Belief is skin deep; faith penetrates beyond the marrow of your bones.
Belief is easily shaken; faith conveys complete conviction.
Belief says I can do this; faith says I WILL do it.
Belief has a dimmer switch; faith shines eternal.
When you have faith, you don’t need to think a whole lot about what you believe.
With “that winning feeling” deep within your bones, you realize you have the Creator’s assistance, and the impossible is now the doable.
Matt Furey
The Miracle of Momentum
Successful living requires that you get positive momentum going in your favor.
There is positive momentum – and there is negative momentum. And oddly enough, this momentum is usually unleashed in either direction by the “small stuff” you do or don’t do at the beginning and end of each day.
Which way you are going in life can be detected by answers to simple questions, such as: What’s the first thing you do after getting out of bed in the morning?
If your answer is that you get something to eat, check your phone or computer to see who texted, called, tweeted, emailed or “posted,” a golden opportunity to create positive momentum was overlooked.
Show me a person who has positive momentum, a person who is lit up, and I’ll show you someone who starts his or her day with activities such as visualization, prayer, meditation, reading, journaling and so on. I’ll show you a person who reviews his goals and/or the systems to be followed.
Reviewing your goals/systems is huge.
What you fail to review,
you fail to remember.
What you fail to remember,
you fail to achieve.
Why? Because memory, imagination and action are closely linked.
Every time you review a goal you are imagining it, you are visualizing it. This leads to you acting upon it. When you combine deliberate and intentional imagination with action, you are creating a result.
When you avoid the deliberate and intentional use of your imagination, you are visualizing by default. This means you are unconsciously imagining and visualizing what other people and/or forces, put in your mind.
Every act is preceded by the conscious or unconscious use of your imagination. You might think you “just do it” – but no one “just does” anything. We form a mental image of what we are going to do, and then we do it. You can pretend that your situation is different, but keep in mind that even a robot is programmed to do what it does.
Here endeth the lesson.
Matt Furey
P.S. Interested in the momentum-generating process I teach to members of my Mind Power Monthly Coaching? Send me an email if this is of interest to you.
The “Don’t Bet Against Me” Mindset
Let’s mentally pretend that the people of a certain town have a success rate of 99 percent whenever they face adversity of any kind.
These people conquer anything and everything that comes their way. They beat invading marauders, they overcome adverse weather conditions and they cure themselves of diseases.
But these facts are never reported to outsiders. All the outside world ever hears about these people is their failures.
Gradually, the thinking from the outside world reaches this town. Most in the area shake their heads and wonder what the outsiders are talking about.
But a few people within the town begin to lament the one percent failure rate, completing blocking out any mental imagery of the 99 percent success rate. They spread doom and gloom everywhere they go, and oddly enough, they attract many followers. Within a short period of time, the town with the 99 percent success rate begins to lose more and more often. And as the people begin to lose, more and more focus is placed upon the losses, and their success rate drops to one percent.
My friend, the above is what many people do to themselves on a daily basis. They block out and ignore their successes and focus solely on their mistakes and failures. And then they can’t figure out why they are in a slump, why things are never turning up rosy.
A basic key to acquiring mind power is realizing that you get more of what you focus on.
When you focus on your successful experiences, you get more of them. When you focus on your losses, you lose more often.
The good news is that no matter how far a person sinks, he or she can begin to rise again by recalling courageous, confident, victorious moments.
Instead of betting against yourself, you take on the mindset of the person who says, “Don’t bet against me.”
Or even better, be the person who when doubted by others, looks them in the eyes and says, “Oh yeah? Watch me!”
See it. Feel it. Be it.
Matt Furey
P.S. If you already own a copy of the classic, Psycho-Cybernetics, then look into upgrading your skills with the advanced courses, Zero Resistance Living and Theatre of the Mind. You’ll be ecstatic when you are holding these courses in your hands.
Exposing the Massive Action Myth
Yet another one of the myths/lies in the self-development field is the notion of taking “massive action.”
When I teach my coaching members there’s no such thing as taking massive action, they usually look at me with a bewildered expression. I am the first person they have ever heard say this. Everyone else is doing what Earl Nightingale called, “following the follower.”
Similar to Socrates, I end up reducing the ridiculous to reality with a series of questions:
“2,500 years ago, Lao Tzu wrote that the journey of a 1,000 miles begins with a single step,” I begin. “So let’s see if something has fundamentally changed about walking in the past two and a half centuries. If you were on a 1,000-mile journey, how many steps would you take at a time?”
“I would take one step at a time,” someone replies.
“But what if I put both feet together and jump? Does that double the number of steps?” I ask.
“No.”
“That means, even if I double my efforts and jump as far as I can, I only get one jump at a time?”
“That’s correct.”
“But what will happen if I put my feet together and jump forward 1,000 times in a row?”
“You’ll probably injure yourself trying to speed up your progress.”
“So think about this: You take massive action, now you’re exhausted and quite possibly injured. And then you’ll be frustrated. You may begin to think that there’s no way you can achieve your goal. But this is not the case. You can achieve your goal, but you’ll do so one consistent step at a time, not via massive action.”
“That makes sense.”
“Not only does it make sense, it’s a reality,” I add. “Let’s say you decide to walk as many miles as you can every single day. Plus, to prove you’re taking massive action, you put 100 pounds of gear on your back to carry along with you. The 100 pounds represents you making sure you’re doing more than one thing at the same time. That’s your strategy to walk 1,000 miles. And you push yourself each day until there’s nothing left. Meanwhile I, have a different idea. I’m going to walk at least five miles each day. I can walk more than five miles if I’m on a roll, but if I stop at five, I’ve hit my daily goal. As for what I carry with me. A bottle of water and a towel will suffice. Each day, when you and I are finished walking, someone picks us up so we can rest and start again the next day. Now, let me ask, who do you think has the better chance of succeeding?”
“I would say that you do.”
“You nailed it. And the reason is obvious, isn’t it. I have a consistent, daily goal that is manageable. It’s not too big. It doesn’t scare me. It doesn’t drain me of physical energy. And it doesn’t wreak havoc on my nervous system. In fact, each day as I accomplish my goal, I gain energy and momentum while the massive action person loses it.”
Make a note: In Psycho-Cybernetics, there isn’t a single word about taking massive action. Not one.
The reason is simple: It’s not a natural, spontaneous, free-flowing and momentum-building approach to achievement.
The same goes for getting out of your comfort zone. There’s nothing in Psycho-Cybernetics that gives this type of advice, either.
The key is finding your comfort zone and expanding with force. You do this by having a daily achievable goal that leads you to the 1,000-mile, the 10,000 or the 1,000,000-mile marker in a relaxed, “I got this” manner.
On a daily basis, remember to eliminate the angst and anxiety of trying to build Rome overnight. You cannot build a city overnight – but you can build one, or anything else, if you keep moving, one humble step at a time.
See it. Feel it. Do it.
Matt Furey
P.S. I’ve been getting a number of questions about recommenced products you can give as presents over the Christmas season. In addition to Psycho-Cybernetics, I strongly suggest 101 Ways to Magnetize Money… In Any Economy, Expect to Win – Hate to Lose, as well as The Unbeatable Man. All three of these books are in the “can’t put it down” variety.
Doing It Daily
“A goal you can accomplish and repeat on a daily basis, with such great consistency that you rarely, if ever, miss, is a goal that can move mountains, carve tunnels or build bridges to a brighter future.”
– Matt Furey
How NOT to Begin Your Day
Earlier today I was a coaching a young man who is having a banner year. In spite of all the shutdowns, lockdowns and quarantines, he’s crushing it.
We went over his daily routine, starting with the first thing he does when his feet hit the floor. And whaddya know, he doesn’t instantly check his dumb phone to see who texted or emailed. He doesn’t look at Twitter, FB or Insta.
Instead he begins with Theatre of the Mind. Then he does the Dao Zou workout he learned from me.
In the past, this man used to push himself to fatigue and failure. Now he pushes himself – but never too much. Instead he stops when he’s still within his comfort zone – and once he finds his comfort zone, the CZ expands spontaneously, without effort.
It’s not about push, push, push… harder, harder, harder.
Reminds me of someone who went from straight F’s to straight A’s. This wasn’t accomplished by telling him to “get out of your comfort zone.” It happened because we helped the young man become comfortable, so comfortable that he WANTED to LEARN.
I realize there are a lot of people preaching this “get out of your comfort zone” mentality. The truth is they only give you part of the story. No one puts himself or herself into an uncomfortable situation unless and until the person is comfortable.. INTERNALLY.
Remember how a few years ago, the ice bucket challenge became a thing? Get a 5-gallon bucket, fill it with ice water and have someone filming you as you dump it over your head.
It’s a simple task. Once the bucket is filled, all you have to do is lift it over your head and turn it over. Only takes a couple seconds… and you’re done.
If you saw people accepting this challenge, but you declined, ask yourself why. Why didn’t you do it?
I’m willing to bet that that you refused because you were “uncomfortable” with being cold, or have a fear of getting sick from ice cold water.
The people who accepted the challenge put themselves into a situation where they were probably going to be physically uncomfortable. So why did they do it? Because they were internally comfortable with the ideas of being physically uncomfortable.
I’ve played around with cold water dousing enough to recognize what I’m saying is true. I’ve gone from barely getting my feet wet to full submersion in cold water. I’ve gone from bailing within 30 seconds to hanging out for 15 minutes, and enjoying it. The secret to hanging in there is finding the comfort zone within.
One of my favorite ways to help people change their results is the daily practice of Dao Zou. It not only helps rewind your mind, it also helps you reverse the flow of negativity in your life.
If you’re getting straight F’s, that can be reversed with a change in how you think and move. If you’re terrified of the cold, or the heat, you can reverse this thinking by reversing the way you picture things in your mind.
If you’re afraid of being broke, or you’re afraid of being prosperous, understand that both of these realities begin as ideas, as images in your mind.
The same goes with anything else. Walking is nothing more than walking until you change one tiny detail of how you walk. If it’s snowing or raining or the temperature is below freezing, maybe you’re less comfortable doing it.
Imagine, though, a way of walking that was so therapeutic that it rewound your mind and made you feel fabulous, without effort; it put you into an internal comfort zone so you could effortlessly expand into realms that were only a figment of your imagination before.
Yes, I believe there is a way of walking that changes your thinking and your life, helping you transcend circumstances.
It’s called Dao Zou. And it may be the answer you’ve been searching for without even realizing it.
See it. Feel it. Be it.
Matt Furey
