Psycho-Cybernetics - See Yourself at Your Best

Matt Furey's Super Human Success Blog

Visualization is a Crock

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 A few years ago I was speaking to a coach about the power of visualization. Almost as soon as I mentioned the word, he interrupted.

“I don’t believe in that. I’ve never been able to make it work. No offense, but I think it’s a crock.”

“Okay, that’s fine,” I said. But he continued…

“What I’ve found to work best is this: I think of something, then I just do it.”

I smiled, knowing he just choked himself into agreeing with me, but didn’t realize it yet.

“That’s cool,” I replied. “So tell me, when you THINK of something, how do you do it?”

“Well, I see what I want to do – then I just do it.:

“Super. And when you SEE what you want to do, how do you SEE it? In your mind’s eye? Or do you see yourself already in the picture you’re looking into?”

“Well, I never really thought about it like that before, but let me think. I guess… hmmm… okay, I got it, here’s what I do. I see a BIG IMAGE of what I want to do in front of me. As soon as I see it, I get excited, and then I just do it.”

“Nice. So you SEE a BIG IMAGE, then you get excited about the image, then you just do it? Do I have it right?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I do. And so now you know why I don’t like visualization. I think it’s a waste of time.”

Now, at this point, it’s a bit difficult to not laugh out loud. Instead of doing so, I paused and thought about how I could break the news to this man. As soon as the words came to me, I spoke.

“My friend, do you realize you just described the act of visualization? But what’s really cool about you is that you’re one of those rare people who does it really, really fast … so fast, in fact, that you don’t even know you’re using the same process I’m talking about.”

“Really? I am?” he asked.

“You sure are.”

To my surprise, after our conversation, this man became a major student of the Theatre of the Mind process, and he’s used it to quintuple his business, turn himself into a stellar salesman and coach quite a number of superstar athletes.

Just think if he stayed with his old belief that visualization doesn’t work.

Now for the whole truth. There are some very successful people in business, in sports, in coaching, in teaching, in parenting, in selling and so on. And they truly believe that they don’t visualize in any way, shape or form.

Many of these same people, like the coach in this email, actually scoff at the process, even though they are using it at a quantum level themselves.

For whatever reason, they don’t like the idea of sitting in a chair to relax and unwind.  That alone is anathema to them.

Relax? Who me? I’m supposed to be productive and sitting isn’t producing?

Then the idea of deep breathing … that is enough to drive them over the edge.

So somewhere along the line, without even realizing it, they come up with a WAY to visualize without ever realizing that they’re doing it.

I know a man who is a perfect example of this.

For years he told his flock how to set goals and manage time, while also railing against the practice of positive thinking and the use of your imagination… to the point that he didn’t realize he was ignoring what he is actually doing, most of the time.

Think of it this way: I want you to come up with a list of goals you want to accomplish – but with one twist. In the process of coming up with your goals, you cannot picture/visualize what you want your life to be like. You cannot picture/visualize who you want to be, what you want to do or what you want to have in your life.

You got it!

No picturing. No visualizing. You don’t need it and most importantly it doesn’t work.

Additionally, you cannot use your imagination in any way. No drifting off into the sunset, the canyons, to foreign countries or anything else.

And most importantly, no FEELING.

You got it. No picturing. No visualizing. No imagining. And most important of all.. NO FEELING.

Alrighty then, let’s see if you can come up with your goals.

I bet you can’t.

I bet you $10,000.00 you can’t.

Not only that, without the use of visualization or imagination, how you going to create a PLAN to achieve your goals? And how exactly are you going to look into the next day and create a “to do” list based upon your goals?

Again, you can’t do it.

Now suppose you’re the type who needs your goals in writing – on a card or notepad and you carry it with you throughout the day to remind yourself of your goals and your daily “to do list.”

Over and over throughout the day, you refer to your card or notes. Why? As a reminder, right?

Okay, and what is your reminder?

Your reminder constitutes words on a piece of paper that were formed from a mental picture you previously had. And each time you look at your reminder, you are seeing the same mental imagery.

So your reminder of your goal card is also a mental picture – and every time you look at the words, you are visualizing. You may be doing it fast, but I assure you, you’re doing it.

Now, if you look at the reminder and do nothing – you haven’t mastered the feeling aspect of visualizing.

If you look at them and immediately FEEL like getting something done, and most importantly, begin DOING IT – then you’re on your way to greatness.

Bottom line is this: Some people, for whatever reason, are great NATURAL visualizers. It comes so easy to them that they don’t think they use it at all.

The rest of us, we’re lucky too.

Why?

Because we can learn the process even better than those who use it without thinking.

We can consciously learn the process and use it to go “where no man/woman has ever gone before.”

I’ve catalogued and categorized the process for you in  Theatre of the Mind and right now I’m having a special discount on this monumental life-shifter.

That’s right. You can get this extraordinary product NOW for $40 off the original amount.

Some very high-level people who have listened to this program have told me it’s not only the BEST program I ever put out – it’s the BEST that anyone
has ever put out.

That’s saying a lot. And it’s why you really owe it to yourself to discover how you really think when you’re at your BEST – and how you can duplicate your
BEST over and over again.

Yours,

Matt “Coach” Furey

P.S. I’m going to be holding a special one-time teleseminar for the first 50 people who take advantage of this offer NOW. Make sure you get in on that event as  it’ll be a tipping point into the good life for you.

Visualization is a Crock

by

 A few years ago I was speaking to a coach about the power of visualization. Almost as soon as I mentioned the word, he interrupted.

“I don’t believe in that. I’ve never been able to make it work. No offense, but I think it’s a crock.”

“Okay, that’s fine,” I said. But he continued…

“What I’ve found to work best is this: I think of something, then I just do it.”

I smiled, knowing he just choked himself into agreeing with me, but didn’t realize it yet.

“That’s cool,” I replied. “So tell me, when you THINK of something, how do you do it?”

“Well, I see what I want to do – then I just do it.:

“Super. And when you SEE what you want to do, how do you SEE it? In your mind’s eye? Or do you see yourself already in the picture you’re looking into?”

“Well, I never really thought about it like that before, but let me think. I guess… hmmm… okay, I got it, here’s what I do. I see a BIG IMAGE of what I want to do in front of me. As soon as I see it, I get excited, and then I just do it.”

“Nice. So you SEE a BIG IMAGE, then you get excited about the image, then you just do it? Do I have it right?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I do. And so now you know why I don’t like visualization. I think it’s a waste of time.”

Now, at this point, it’s a bit difficult to not laugh out loud. Instead of doing so, I paused and thought about how I could break the news to this man. As soon as the words came to me, I spoke.

“My friend, do you realize you just described the act of visualization? But what’s really cool about you is that you’re one of those rare people who does it really, really fast … so fast, in fact, that you don’t even know you’re using the same process I’m talking about.”

“Really? I am?” he asked.

“You sure are.”

To my surprise, after our conversation, this man became a major student of the Theatre of the Mind process, and he’s used it to quintuple his business, turn himself into a stellar salesman and coach quite a number of superstar athletes.

Just think if he stayed with his old belief that visualization doesn’t work.

Now for the whole truth. There are some very successful people in business, in sports, in coaching, in teaching, in parenting, in selling and so on. And they truly believe that they don’t visualize in any way, shape or form.

Many of these same people, like the coach in this email, actually scoff at the process, even though they are using it at a quantum level themselves.

For whatever reason, they don’t like the idea of sitting in a chair to relax and unwind.  That alone is anathema to them.

Relax? Who me? I’m supposed to be productive and sitting isn’t producing?

Then the idea of deep breathing … that is enough to drive them over the edge.

So somewhere along the line, without even realizing it, they come up with a WAY to visualize without ever realizing that they’re doing it.

I know a man who is a perfect example of this.

For years he told his flock how to set goals and manage time, while also railing against the practice of positive thinking and the use of your imagination… to the point that he didn’t realize he was ignoring what he is actually doing, most of the time.

Think of it this way: I want you to come up with a list of goals you want to accomplish – but with one twist. In the process of coming up with your goals, you cannot picture/visualize what you want your life to be like. You cannot picture/visualize who you want to be, what you want to do or what you want to have in your life.

You got it!

No picturing. No visualizing. You don’t need it and most importantly it doesn’t work.

Additionally, you cannot use your imagination in any way. No drifting off into the sunset, the canyons, to foreign countries or anything else.

And most importantly, no FEELING.

You got it. No picturing. No visualizing. No imagining. And most important of all.. NO FEELING.

Alrighty then, let’s see if you can come up with your goals.

I bet you can’t.

I bet you $10,000.00 you can’t.

Not only that, without the use of visualization or imagination, how you going to create a PLAN to achieve your goals? And how exactly are you going to look into the next day and create a “to do” list based upon your goals?

Again, you can’t do it.

Now suppose you’re the type who needs your goals in writing – on a card or notepad and you carry it with you throughout the day to remind yourself of your goals and your daily “to do list.”

Over and over throughout the day, you refer to your card or notes. Why? As a reminder, right?

Okay, and what is your reminder?

Your reminder constitutes words on a piece of paper that were formed from a mental picture you previously had. And each time you look at your reminder, you are seeing the same mental imagery.

So your reminder of your goal card is also a mental picture – and every time you look at the words, you are visualizing. You may be doing it fast, but I assure you, you’re doing it.

Now, if you look at the reminder and do nothing – you haven’t mastered the feeling aspect of visualizing.

If you look at them and immediately FEEL like getting something done, and most importantly, begin DOING IT – then you’re on your way to greatness.

Bottom line is this: Some people, for whatever reason, are great NATURAL visualizers. It comes so easy to them that they don’t think they use it at all.

The rest of us, we’re lucky too.

Why?

Because we can learn the process even better than those who use it without thinking.

We can consciously learn the process and use it to go “where no man/woman has ever gone before.”

I’ve catalogued and categorized the process for you in  Theatre of the Mind and right now I’m having a special discount on this monumental life-shifter.

That’s right. You can get this extraordinary product NOW for $40 off the original amount.

Some very high-level people who have listened to this program have told me it’s not only the BEST program I ever put out – it’s the BEST that anyone
has ever put out.

That’s saying a lot. And it’s why you really owe it to yourself to discover how you really think when you’re at your BEST – and how you can duplicate your
BEST over and over again.

Yours,

Matt “Coach” Furey

P.S. I’m going to be holding a special one-time teleseminar for the first 50 people who take advantage of this offer NOW. Make sure you get in on that event as  it’ll be a tipping point into the good life for you.

No Such Thing as Success or Failure

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In a coaching call I held a few weeks ago, a client told me that he felt like “a failure.”

Despite the fact that he makes a very good income and has a wonderful family, he looks at what he hasn’t accomplished yet and deems himself unworthy and undeserving.

After listening to him vent, I said the following in my down-home, low-key manner:

“Dude, you’ve got some wrong thinking going on. You think there is such a thing as a SUCCESS. You think there’s also such a thing as a FAILURE. Neither exist in this whirld. There’s no possibility of being one or the other – so this means your entire thought process is wrong.”

Long pause.

“Now for the better news,” I continued. “You can have successful experiences as well as failure experiences – but neither of these make you a success or failure. If you make a gazillion bucks – does that make you a success? No. And if it did, losing it would make you a failure, right?

“Yet, at any stage in your life, you can shift or change course. You can stop living successfully and default to a life of failing – or you can stop failing and start winning. If you win today – you still go on. You continue on your journey.

“The next day you might not win. So how can you be a success one day and a failure the next?

“You’re can’t because you’re neither. You’re either living successfully or you’re not. So if you judge yourself and your life in absoultes, you’re going to feel bad about yourself much of the time because you cannot always win.”

My client paused for a moment after hearing the above and said, “You know, no one has ever told me this before.”

“You’re a member of a very large group of people who can say the same,” I replied.

“Okay, so what do I need to do to get back on the winning track? I’ve been wanting to write a book. But I just sit and think and over-analyze. What do you recommend?”

“Thinking is over-rated,” I replied.

I could feel his jaw drop when I said this.

“Remember this,” I continued. “Great thinkers don’t think.”

This comment nearly shattered his brain.

“What do you mean by that?” he asked. “I always thought good writing was good thinking.”

“Well, as I was told by a fellow wrestler at Iowa when I told him I THOUGHT something,  he said, ‘You THOUGHT, HUH? Well, that’s what you get for your thinking.’ ”

I continued: “Good writing is not done with thinking. Good writing is being in a state of flow. It’s like being connected to the sky above the clouds. And once you have that connection, you listen to the still small voice within, and record
what you hear it saying.”

Over the course of the next 20 minutes, I proceeded to lay out more details on how quickly you can get connected to that voice.

If you’re wondering what some of these details are, then I suggest you grab your share of the wealth by getting my Tao of Email Copywriting course. It’s the go-to course for top-tier writers and copywriters around the whirld.

I kind you not as I’ve been given a license to brag – on occasion, so long as I keep it under five minutes at a time.

True. Many of the whilrd’s best-selling authors are on my list and hang on my every werd – even those I deliberately misspell (two in this here sentence).

The same goes for those in the copywriting trade, i.e. those who make their living putting words on paper in order to sell products and services for their clients.

There are many people who can teach you how you should write – but there is no “WAY” that feels right or is right if you don’t have a connection to the Infinite when you sit before a blank piece of paper – or screen.

That’s the way I see things – and believe me now as well as listen to me later, I have “right view” on what I’m seeing.

So sayeth the ZM.

Signing off now with the powerful words I wrote about in yesterday’s email…

Peace and Love,

Matt Furey

P.S. In the  Tao of Email Copywriting you’ll learn how to supercharge your words and phrases with energy that is available to all of us, anytime, any day. And that includes YOU. So put ye failures behind you. And stop thinking
you’re going to arrive at a destination called SUCCESS some day. There’s no destination by that name. It exists not. You, however, do exist – and you’re here to have a successful journey of both ups and downs – but mostly UPS. Enjoy ’em all.

When the Worst is the Best

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Those who’d like to see “proof” of something bad actually being good – and how we can’t be too sure we know the answer – may appreciate the following true story about “satori” or an “awakening” happening in the coaching of a sport like baseball.

Hold on.

If you’re not a baseball fan, hang with me for a bit as this is too good to ignore.

Okay, in baseball there are a lot of terms to describe how the batter hits the ball. Setting aside the obvious “home run” and “grand slam” – there are three main categories:

1. ground balls
2. line drives
3. fly balls

A home run or grand slam can be hit in all three ways – although it’s rare for it to be from a ground ball.

Even so, in each of the three categories you have picturesque words to describe HOW the ball was hit – as well as opinions from coaches, players and fans as to whether or not they approve.

For example, here are some terms under each category:

1. Ground ball – sharp, soft, dribbler, chopper, bunt, slow roller, etc.

2. Line drive – hard, soft, missile, laser, pill, shot, gapper, etc

3. Fly ball – infield fly, blooper, Texas leaguer, can of corn, deep, shallow, monster shot, bomb, etc.

Believe it or not, there are many coaches who bash the home run and the deep fly ball. Some even dislkike the line drive. And there are those who
despise the ground ball.

Anyway, one coach who was ahead of the pack, viewed the game differently. He liked hard line drives, sharp ground balls as well as deep fly balls that leave the ball park. He didn’t care how the ball got hit – so long as you “hit it hard.”

At the same time, this coach was adamant about the type of ground ball, line drive or fly ball he wanted. He absolutely hated soft ground balls, choppers, dribblers and so on.

“If you’re going to hit the ball,” he’d say, “hit it square and mash it.”

Well, one day in a game when the score was tied, 1-1, late in the game, this coach’s team was up to bat.

The bases were loaded with two outs and the young man at the plate had home run hitting power as well as the ability to scorch some hard line drives into a gap.

But lately everything this player hit was a chopper – a ground ball that almost always ended up being an easy out.

The day before the coach chided this player for not making solid contact, for hitting so many choppy ground balls.

Here’s where it gets interesting. In this tie-ballgame something strange happened. The batter swung and hit the ball as hard as he could but it only traveled one foot before hitting the ground.

The ball chopped into the ground close to home plate.

It hit the grass so hard you’d think it’d cause a geyser. The pitcher and catcher didn’t know what to do for a millisecond – then there was a diving sprint to catch the ball and get the third out at home plate.

The pitcher dove to his stomach. No catch. But he had his hand on the ball. From his gut he relayed the ball to the catcher.

He was a hair too late. The run scored and the batter who chopped the ball was safe at first.

No more runs were scored it that game. It ended in a 2-1 victory for the coach. But something more happened inside the mind of the coach.

Afterward he went to the boy who hit the ball “wrong.”

He smiled and shook his hand.

“Nice chopper,” he said. “Yesterday I condemned the very thing that won today’s game. I’ve learned a very important lesson from today’s game and I thank you for opening my eyes.”

The next day the coach no longer condemned the chopper in practice.

“Nine times out of ten the chopper is not what you want. But who knows,” he said. “Sometimes the home run is robbed with a leaping grab and the hard line drive is caught for a double play.”

“Sometimes the worst hit ball is exactly what’s needed to win a game. It ends up being the best hit ball for that particular situation. It’s a great metaphor for life. Be careful what you condemn – it might be exactly what you need to win the game.”

Days later the team noted how the coach was a different man. He was calmer, more relaxed and much more open to anything being possible. The team improved faster because he wasn’t absolutely certain that he always knew, in advance, what was good and what wasn’t.

He understood and was awakened to the reality that sometimes the worst is the best, and not just in baseball. In life itself.

Best,

Matt Furey

P.S. There’s a whole lot more that’ll awaken you in Theatre of the Mind.

Embarrassing

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Earlier today I was training with two fellow martial artists – both of whom are incredibly good at what they do. I’m practically new to their style, so the learning curve is large indeed.

Toward the end of the class I was given an exercise that I have never felt comfortable doing. Hint: That may mean it’s good for me.

At the same time, I am usually given minimal instruction when we do this exercise – then it’s “Ready, go.”

The two I was training with have been doing this particular drill for years – yet, it’s new to me. As of this moment, I get beat at it every single time.

And it feels downright embarrassing.

After the class I thought about the situation. I keep getting beat at this drill for three reasons;

1. Lack of knowledge – I don’t know what the others know – and they’re not exactly helping to fill in the gaps.

2. Lack of experience – I have only done this drill a few times in my life – the others have done it thousands of times.

3. No strategy – Because this drill is new to me, I lack knowledge on how to do it as well as the experience gained from having done it countless times. Without knowledge and experience, it’s hard to conceive of a battle plan, a simple strategy allowing me to play the game more effectively.

When I got home I sat on the couch.

But not to vegetate – to ruminate.

I began to think in earnest about how I keep getting beat and how much I hate it. And as I thought about it I came up with a few options:

A. Quit – this is the easy thing to do. It’ll help me avoid feelings of letdown and embarrassment – but those feelings will aire their uglness again as soon as I begin to try something else new – and it proves difficult, too.

B. Avoid – keep training but avoid this weakness. Do only the things I’m good at or feel comfortable doing. This will help me avoid feeling bad.

C. Become Fascinated – Instead of being embarrassed, start asking questions. Make no time to concentrate or think about my emotional state. Put my intention on a goal that’s worthy of achieving. Don’t let lack of direction or instruction stop me. Sit and ponder on my own and ask everyone I know who “owns” this skill for help. Put ego out of the way and make this drill a highly refined championship level skill.

In case you’re wondering, I’ll be choosing “Option C.”

Now, in case you’re wondering if I’ve ever gone through the “let down” phase before, I assure you it’s come and gone many, many times.

It’s part of learning – at least for me.

Sure, there are those “positive thinkers” who claim they have no ego, that they never feel embarrassed, etc.

All I can say is this: If you’ve ever achieved anything great, you got embarrassed along the way – and this lit a spark that helped lead you to greatness.

I don’t know a single “success” who never felt humiliated or embarrassed or horrified. Not one.

As Coach Dan Gable used to say, “The only place you start at the top is digging a hole.”

The same holds true for writing, running or river rafting. You get good by doing – AND by thinking about doing BETTER.

You picture better days. You practice so you can have better days – and eventually they will come your way.

Best,

Matt Furey

P.S. In The Tao of Email Copywriting – I do something most marketers never do. I willingly and openly teach you what I know, I tell you of my
experiences – AND I give you several strategies you can begin using NOW to improve the sales of ANYTHING you are offering. Whether it’s a book, a line of supplements, clothing or exercise equipment – email is still the very best way to put your message out there and create the life you want. Grab your future NOW.

Most Important Mind-Power Factor

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When it comes to the subject of mind-power, creating what you want, achieving your goals, being successful and so on – there’s one key factor that makes everything work.

Without this factor, regardless of what you do, you’ll get negligible results. You’ll flounder. You’ll always come up short.

This most important factor isn’t goals. It isn’t writing down your goals. Despite the Harvard study of the 3% – a lot of people set goals – write them down – and don’t achieve them. And so, regardless of what you’ve heard, putting your goals in writing doesn’t guarantee anything. It doesn’t even put you into the class of 3%.

How do I know?

I know because I’ve seen a lot of people achieve spectacular goals without writing them down.

I’ve seen people become medical doctors without written goals. I’ve seen athletes win awards without writing their goals. I’ve seen entrepreneurs make enormous sums of moohlah without written goals. And if you really want to get right down to it – I think most couples who have children, did
not put a goal in writing that said: “I am having a baby.”

Okay, does this mean I am against written goals?

Not at all.

I believe written goals help – but ONLY if you understand and utilize the MOST IMPORTANT MIND-POWER FACTOR.

And once you do, you’ll become the type of person who can and will succeed whether or not you put your goals in writing.

How’s that sound? How’s that grab you?

Well then, I suggest you grab yourself a copy of Theatre of the Mind – so you can discover exactly what makes YOU get what you want, over and over again.

You might think it’s positive thinking. It’s not.

You might think it’s visualizing. It’s not.

You might think it’s following a special diet. It’s not.

Last week, Charlie, a man who’s purchased virtually every self-development program on earth – and who is, by almost all standards, very successful, wrote to tell me the following:

“I have bought 100’s of Nightingale Conant programs, every thing Wayne Dyer has ever done, and all the others you mention from time to time. this is not a surprise to you. I credit a good part of my success to the hours listening to them in the car, while working at the house or the office on the weekends etc.

I have also probably spent many tens of thousands of $$ over my career buying other people tapes, books and stuff that would solve the exact issues that they describe to me. I am sometimes in a position to know exactly what they need to do. Trouble is they don’t read them or their mind is closed. (my ex-wife was a perfect example)

“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink!”

Your TOTM is the best of them all, my question is, How do I give that program to someone (my boys especially) in such a way that they are motivated to at least listen to it once – and keep it as a resource?

I pose this to you because, it’s good for your business, and for me and a lot of other people who share the enthusiasm and experience, and want to share.

Been meaning to ask you for some time!”

My answer: Charlie, the answer you’re searching for is contained in the very email you just sent me. Tell your sons what you just told me – and leave it at that. Glad you like the TOTM program so much. Can’t wait to hear how much they’re liking it – and how much it’s helping them. Thank you for spreading the word.

Well, my friend, that’s all for now.

Best,

Matt Furey

Flying With Zim

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Three days ago I was talking to a group of young ball players, telling them about the time, some 10 years ago, when I was flying to Las Vegas.

Across from me sat a legend.

I knew he was such for two reasons. The first was the World Series champion ring he wore – the other was his incredibly calm demeanor. When you meet someone who is as calm as this man was, you KNOW they’ve seen a lot of battles – and they’ve seen the light at the end of them.

During the entire flight, for some odd reason, I couldn’t place this man’s name. I knew he was a Big League manager – but what was his name?

Ugh.

Yes, I could have leaned over and asked, “Hey, you look familiar. Did you manage an MLB team or something?”

But that would be embarrassing. You don’t do that to someone of this man’s stature. If you’re too forgetful to remember his name, don’t ask.

Whilst departing the plane, the man with the colossal ring walked ahead of me. I made sure I let him go first. Out of respect. Out of selfish reasons: I wanted to watch his walk.

As he made his way into the airport, I observed every detail of his stride.

I thought to myself, Yep. That’s him. That’s the exact walk of an MLB mangager going to the mound to remove a pitcher. You can’t fake that. He’s been there.

But what was his name?

Upon arriving at my hotel, his name hit me like a thunderclap.

He’s the manager who got into an altercation with Pedro Martinez, and got whirled through the air. He’s the manager who showed class and apologized, with tears in his eyes, for the role he played in it. He said he was sorry and meant it – it wasn’t just a public relations move.

Don Zimmer – that’s his name.

I got on the Internet and searched. Yep, that’s the guy who sat across from me. That’s him.

Years later, when I was a season-ticket holder with the Tampa Bay Rays, Don Zimmer was there, as an advisor.

On more than one occasion, I saw him behind home plate – and unlike the flight to Las Vegas, I always remembered his name and always called out to him.

“Hi Don.”

Zimmer would turn to me, smile, wave and say hello.

Truly, he would.

This is not something a lot of Big Leaguers will do. They pass fans by with expressionless faces, hoping they don’t get asked to sign yet another autograph.

I never asked Don Zimmer for his autograph. To be in a position, more than once in my lifetime, to say hello to him, that was enough.

To have a chance to remember his name and let him know I knew who he was, that was enough.

Baseball lost a great man yesterday. Don Zimmer, age 83, the last remaining player from the original Brooklyn Dodgers.

Wow.

Just watched a tribute to him.

This man epitomized what it is to be a “professional human being.” Not a professional baseball player or manager.

First and foremost – a professional human being.

That’s something all of us can become. Most people will not make it to the top in a profession.

But ALL of us can become professionals in how we live our lives. All of us can live our lives to the full – if we so choose.

Be a professional human being today – every day.

How do you do that?

Same way you do anything. You practice – and practice – and practice some more.

Best,

Matt Furey
author of Theatre of the Mind

Easiest Way to Ruin Someone’s Luck

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Back in 2007, when I was talking with Steve Chandler, author of far too many books to list here, he told me a tale that I’ve seen play out in business, sports and much more.

“If someone is playing a great game of darts, the easiest way to get him off target is to pay him a compliment,” he said.

“I think I know exactly what you mean,” I replied.

“Suppose someone hits a bullseye three times in a row,” he continued. “If you say, ‘Wow, that’s three in a row you’ve just thrown. You’re awesome,’ watch how he misses on the very next dart.”

“So true,” I said. “In baseball, when a pitcher is throwing a no hitter or a perfect game, there’s a reason that NO ONE comes up to him and says anything. Literally. NOTHING. Not only that, but no one even sits near him. They don’t want to get inside his lucky aura and disrupt it.”

Okay, how does this message apply to you in your everyday life?

I’ll answer with the following story:

“One day, Bing, was practicing Tai Ji in a park near Beijing. He’d been training each day, religiously, for three years. During this time, no teacher had ever paid him a compliment in any way.

He was only taught to practice hard, to “chi ku” (eat bitter) – as well as to watch his breathing and pay meticulous attention to every detail of every move. Bing did exactly as instructed.

On this particular day, Chen, a well-known Master, came by and watched Bing train for a few minutes.

When Bing finished his set, the Master Chen gave him a thumbs up and said, “Your form isn’t bad.”

Young Bing smiled from ear to ear. Finally, a compliment for all his hard work.

But then the Master continued, “But it’s not so good, either. Keep training.”

Ouch.

Bing’s smile turned to confusion as the Master walked away. He wondered to himself about the meaning of the Master’s words.

Was he playing a game with me? Was he trying to trick me?

Why did he immediately follow his words of praise with words of criticism? Why did he build me up just to tear me down?”

After several days, Bing realized the Master did him a favor. He gave him balanced feedback. He gave him the yin and the yang of the situation.

“Your form isn’t bad.” – this is not really praise – but Bing saw it as such. And look how he immediately reacted. He smiled and felt proud. Why? Because the “compliment” fed his ego.

Unbeknownst to Bing, the ego interferes with success, it puts the focus on yourself instead of upon what you’re working to accomplish.

“But it’s not so good, either.”

This line from the Master was designed to put Bing back into neutral, to make him lose his addiction to praise as well as to help him not take criticism personally.

“Keep training.” This advice was the best thing the Master said to Bing. Keep your focus on what you are doing – not on how you feel about someone’s praise or criticism.

Back in 2005, at one of my seminars, I taught the following:

“Remain emotionally neutral about both praise and criticism, yet wise enough to see how either can be used to your benefit.”

I still think the same way today on this matter.

Beware those who flatter you, who tell you how great you are, who praise and coddle you. These people are not going to lead you to success.

Find the coach who tells it to you like it is, the one who wants you to succeed far more than he wants to hear you tell him how great he is.

I realize the above isn’t practiced too much in society today. And that’s precisely why there will never be tens of millions of people running around who’ve mastered something.

Best,

Matt Furey

P.S. Want to truly master something? – then go here.

Clearing the Air

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Whenever we encounter a trouble of some sort, whether it’s an argument, a tense situation or a misunderstanding – it’s a good idea to see if we can clear the air.

There are many ways to clear the air.

You can put your thoughts on paper. You can meet with another person and talk about it. You can speak by phone.

These are the most obvious ways to clear the air.

But what if none of the above are possible because those you’d like to meet with, speak with and write to are no longer living?

Well, normally you could resolve the tension by attending a funeral, a wake or a memorial.

But what if that’s not even possible because the body of the person who died is involved in an investigation?

That’s a tough one.

Yet, a few days ago I saw this situation handled by a pro.

Although the baseball season was already over for the high school my son plays for – the coach held an honorary practice for the young man whose life and future was tragically taken away last week.

The practice was two hours long and involved the typical hitting and fielding drills that took place while their former teammate was still with them. Except for one important detail: The boys played “AS IF” their friend, Colin Campbell, was still right there with them.

Some of the players hit “bombs” over the fence – others made the best throws or catches of their lives – all in Colin’s honor.

At the end, the team huddled up in the outfield and made their peace with their departed friend. Some told stories, others told jokes. And the healing process took off – sending positive waves throughout the park.

This was one of the best examples of clearing the air I have ever witnessed.

No media was allowed or notified. Just a humble practice to say good-bye to a departed friend.

My son got in the car with me after practice and we drove away. His pain and hurt transformed into healing energy.

As we’ve so often seen in the past, great tragedy often precedes great triumph. We don’t ask for tragedy so we can triumph. No one asks for it. But if and when tragedy strikes, knowing we can turn it into something else, knowing we can use the experience as fuel to make our lives better – that gives us a positive goal to focus on and a new path to create for ourselves.

In Theatre of the Mind, I spoke about my coach at Iowa, the legendary Dan Gable, who won Olympic Gold in 1972, while competing on one good knee. Even so, he never surrendered a single point in six matches.

What drove Gable to such great success? In large part, it was due to the fact that his sister, Diane, was brutally raped and murdered while young Dan was on a fishing trip with his Mom and Dad.

Upon the family’s return, young Dan dedicated his entire career to his sister. He hung her picture in the basement, and when he trained, he spoke to her.

After being undefeated throughout high school he went to college – and he was unbeaten there as well. Until his final match of his senior season. With a record of 181-0 – Gable lost in the finals of the national championships.

On the victory stand, when Gable was presented with his 2nd place plaque, he openly sobbed and wept – covering his eyes with his hand.

Why did he weep? As Gable told his parents – who came to the locker room to console him, “I let Diane down.”

The next day’s headlines: GABLE LOSES. GABLE FAILS.

In a talk given a short time after his defeat, Gable told the crowd that he would use his loss as even greater motivation. He would train harder and he would rededicate himself to his goals of being a world and Olympic champion.

In 2007, I had the honor of bringing Coach Gable to Tampa, to speak at one of my seminars.

In his talk, Gable spoke about the death of his sister – and  how it affected him. He said that you can take anything that happens to you in life, no matter how tragic – and figure out a way to use it as fuel to help you achieve your very best – but only if you look for it.

These were not hollow words that sounded good. These were words Gable lived and breathed. And still does to this very day.

Turning tragedy into triumph. It’s a reality that comes to those who ask for the guidance and are given the grace.

Best,

Matt Furey

The Latest from Tampa

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Spent yesterday working with my coaching groups.

Part of what I taught, appropriately so, was the value of suffering.

There are two types: the suffering we willingly choose in order to excel at something. This is the sort I went through as a collegiate wrestler, as a martial artist, as a writer, and so on. You endure things that most cannot fathom – and you do so with a greater cause, a greater goal in mind. This makes 80% or more of the suffering feel good.

It’s pleasurable even though it’s painful. You willingly subject yourself to it because you know it’s for your greater good. 20% of the time you spend working toward the goal feels like torture; it feels unbearable.

And at times, about 3% of the time, perhaps, you’re on the verge of giving up, of quitting, because you have doubts about whether you’re going to make it.

The second type of suffering is the type that is thrown at us. We don’t feel like we’ve willingly chosen it. But it’s there. Someone close to us dies, or gets sick, or gets injured. Or we undergo a trauma ourselves. We’re left wondering “why?” We’re jarred backed into the “present.” We hurt even though we don’t want to. We feel we shouldn’t have to suffer. We try to avoid the pain – yet we cannot do so completely – so we surrender to it and allow the energy to be transformed – and along with it, ourselves.

This type of suffering, if willingly embraced, helps us grow. We become more compassionate, more loving, more caring toward others. We feel more connected – and we are.

Ultimately, no matter how painful, if we search for the seed of how the suffering makes us better human beings, we will find it.

True, you don’t have to ever feel a bit of compassion, a bit of pain. You need not feel empathy for anyone.

You don’t need to suffer, ever. You can go through life without shedding a tear. You can attend funerals with a smile on your face.

But are you really living life to the full if you can only experience the gamut of emotions from A-B?

It would be like playing the piano, but only hitting the ivory keys, or only the ebony. Wouldn’t be much of a piano player now, would you?

It’d be like only being able to play a couple notes on a flute – or only being able to play one or two strings on a guitar.

As I wrote in my email two days ago – You Cannot Escape from This – which you can view on my blog – Life is Not Suffering – but it is part of life. So is happiness. And part of being human is balancing both at the very same time. I’m happy – yet I hurt. I hurt – yet I’m happy.

Thanks to everyone who wrote me, posted here, sent test messages and/or called.

Matt Furey
author of Theatre of the Mind

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Hello and welcome to Psycho-Cybernetics.com - the official site for the original (and expanded) teachings of Dr. Maxwell Maltz, author of the 35 million copy best-seller, Psycho-Cybernetics. I’m Matt Furey, author of the best-selling Nightingale-Conant audio book, Maxwell Maltz’ Theatre of the Mind.

When you subscribe to our Psycho-Cybernetics emails, I will immediately send you an email containing a FREE PDF ($100 value) of my Theatre of the Mind Masters Newsletter called Defeating the Failure Mechanism, which also features a Dr. Maltz piece, When Positive Thinking Doesn't Work. This highly regarded newsletter will show you how to apply the suggestions contained within it into your own life… and make changes for the BETTER!

Best,
Matt Furey
President, Psycho-Cybernetics Foundation

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