“Men seek retreats for themselves: houses in the country, sea-shores and mountains; and thou too art wont to desire such a thing very much. But this is altogether a mark of the most common sort of men, for it is in thy power whenever thou shalt choose to retire into thyself. For nowhere, either with more quiet or more freedom from trouble, does a man retire than into his own soul, particularly when he has within him such thoughts that by looking into them he is immediately in perfect tranquility; and I affirm that tranquility is nothing else than the good ordering of the mind. Constantly then give to thyself this retreat, and renew thyself.” – Marcus Aurelius
Words I Wish I Knew in College
“I used to know a boxer who fought well until he won the championship. In his next fight he lost the championship and looked bad doing so. After losing the title, he fought well again and regained the championship. A wise manager said to him, ‘You can fight as well as champion as when you’re the contender if you’ll remember one thing. When you step into that ring you aren’t defending the championship – you’re fighting for it. You haven’t got it – you’ve laid it on the line when you crawl through the ropes.”
Maxwell Maltz, M.D. – Psycho-Cybernetics, Updated and Expanded – page 153
After winning the national title as a junior, I continued to train in earnest for my senior year in the sport of collegiate wrestling.
Just as I had done before, I worked out three times per day. I polished my skills and increased my strength and speed. But I made a gargantuan mental mistake that negatively affected my performance.
Dr. Maltz spelled it out for me in his book, Psycho-Cybernetics.
What was that mistake? The same one the champion boxer made. I went into every match thinking to myself, “I’m the defending national champion.”
Along with this thought came enormous pressure.
I didn’t just want to win.
I told myself, “I HAVE TO WIN.”
Why did I have to win?
To prove that I was a national champion, which everyone knew, I had already done.
It’s a classic and common mistake. And this type of thinking isn’t an albatross experienced only by elite athletes. It can creep into any skill, any endeavor, including the art of writing.
Someone tells you that you’re good at something, and the next thing you know, instead of doing the thing the way you did it before, you’re trying to live up to the praise that’s ringing in your ears.
Before you weren’t trying. You were merely doing. And now you’re a mess.
You were far better off when you didn’t consider whether you were good or bad, when your goal wasn’t perfection.
Now getting the job done isn’t good enough. The job has to be perfect.
As Robert Fritz once said, “Perfection is a stupid goal.”
Sure, you can strive for perfection, and sometimes it can be a positive driver. But most of the time the ideal of perfection is a terrible burden that hurts you far more than it helps.
Keep this in mind as you pursue your goals. Perfection rarely visits. When it does, it lasts for a moment. And it almost always visits when we’re not looking for it or expecting it.
I’ve yet to hear of a single big league pitcher who threw a perfect game when that was the goal. The pitcher’s goal was to win. The perfect game was a bonus, and try all he wants for the rest of his career, it will probably never happen again.
Matt Furey
When Hard Work Doesn’t Work
“The harder you work, the more stress and strain you put into a task, the harder your work becomes.”
– el Furecat
Hold the phone: If the quote mentioned above is true, then why do so many people tell you to work hard? Is hard work really the secret of success?
Well, it appears, on the surface, that hard work is the answer. If you’re not getting the results you want, it makes sense that if you put more time and energy into what you are doing, you’ll get better results. Straight down the line this is true – except for when it isn’t, which is quite often.
The secret of “hard work” is getting the feeling that you are aren’t working hard, even if you are.
For example, let’s say that you are terrible at a specific physical activity, such as shooting free throws. As outlined in Psycho-Cybernetics, Updated and Expanded, you can improve your success percentage by physically practicing free throws every day. In fact, in a 20-day study, those who physically practiced each day improved their percentage of made goals by 24%.
But…. and here’s the clincher, the group that didn’t physically practice, the group that ONLY practiced in their imagination, improved 23%.
Additionally, there was one group in the test that did not practice physically or mentally, and they showed zero improvement.
To summarize, the group that didn’t “work” or practice in anyway, got nowhere. And the two groups that did something each day, improved.
We can assume that the group who physically practiced “worked hard” at improving their free throws, and this helped them improve.
But what about the group who only visualized? Did they “work hard” at picturing the result they wanted, or did they merely take it easy and relax into the feel of the game?
Moreover, why wasn’t there a follow-up test with another group who practiced both the physical and the so-called “mental” aspects of shooting free throws?
Based upon my experiences as an athlete, martial artist, writer, and so on, I can unequivocally state that when you utilize both the physical and the psychological tools that are available, you improve far more than when you choose the physical over the mental, or vice versa.
When you use both tools, the physical and the psychological, an interesting realization takes place within you. And that realization is that the more relaxed you are while you work, the better job you will do.
You do not tend to sink more free throws by shooting them harder.
You do not tend to hit a golfball or baseball further by trying to hit it harder.
You do not write better or speak better by putting more effort into what you are communicating.
You relax your mind and your muscles, you picture what you want and then you allow the Creative Mechanism within to effortlessly guide you to your chosen destination.
In short, you appear to “work hard” by NOT working as hard as you thought was necessary to get the job done.
A pro is someone who makes his or her job appear effortless.
A pro removes the effort, the strain, the grunt mentality from the task at hand.
As a result, the pro understands that it isn’t hard work that leads to success. Instead, it is figuring out how to make what you were doing easier than it was before. And that will only come to you when you’ve put in the practice.
Here endeth the lesson.
Matt Furey
Imagine There’s No Problem
Earlier today I was reading a book written by a humorist. Most of it was written while he was traveling, or should I say, when he was resting during his travels.
There are many writers who would view “being on the road” as a problem, especially if you have a goal to write a book. But this man thought nothing of the sort. He thought about what he was going to write as he drove, and when he pulled over for the night, he took out his laptop, or his notepad and pen, and got after it.
So many people look for the perfect circumstances before they begin creating the life they want to live.
Someone says, “Once all my problems are solved, once my circumstances are perfect, then I can start going after what I want.”
Perfect circumstances don’t exist.
From the perspective of a creator, you do not wait for problems to be solved before you begin making something happen in your life. Your problems represent part of where you are at this time – yet the reality is that many of your problems don’t need to be fixed for you to take charge of your life.
Many people who read Psycho-Cybernetics, come away with what I call “the erroneous AHA.”
While reading the book, this person thinks, “I found it. I figured out my problem. I now realize I have a weak self-image. Now all I have to do is FIX my self-image and all will be well.”
When I tell this person there is nothing to fix, there is only a new reality to be created, he or she is often surprised, and doesn’t necessarily believe me, at first.
As I speak, I feel as though I can hear their silent self-talk: “I want to solve my self-image problems and I want to solve them NOW.”
Left to their own inclinations, these people will attempt to uncover all their limiting beliefs and negative thoughts. They will write the negatives down and replace them with positives.
The list of negatives to fix starts out small – and gets bigger by the day.
Meanwhile, all the focus is directed inward, toward the “self,” and not toward a target or goal.
When your focus in on a target, and preferably one that isn’t too far off, you take the focus off yourself, where it doesn’t belong, and put it on the result you want to accomplish.
Yes, you SEE YOURSELF where you want to be.
Yes, you also SEE YOURSELF where you are.
You also SEE YOURSELF making continuous adjustments until you bring what you want into reality.
If you think you cannot do something – that is not a problem that needs to be fixed. Your so-called problem is where you are – it is your starting point, your launching pad or springboard.
Let’s look at the person who is missing a limb and wants to participate in sports, as an example. Is the missing limb a problem to be fixed? Or is it an opportunity to compete, and possibly excel, in spite of the missing limb? The answer depends on whether you are a goal-achiever or a problem-solver.
I remember the 15-year old wrestler from Indiana, who attended a camp I was working in Cedar Falls, Iowa.
The boy lost his left leg in a farming accident, when he fell off the tractor. Yet, there he was, training with all the other boys who had two legs. He never complained no matter how difficult the practice. And he went on to become a state champion.
Before the 2008 Olympics, I worked with a woman who wanted to compete in the Paralympics. She was missing both legs.
She came to Tampa to train with me, made the team and went on to compete in Beijing.
Once again, her focus was outward, upon a goal, a destination. Not a whimper of self-pity. She focused on what she wanted, took her current situation into account and went after it.
Yes, she did improve her self-image as she practiced and trained – but this does not mean her current self-image was a problem.
How you currently see yourself is your launching pad to where you want to go. This means that even if you have a “weak self-image,” if it is positioned properly, it is helping you achieve your goals, including your goal of having a strong self-image.
If you want to get strong physically, you bring your weak body to the gym and begin training. You do not ignore your weak body. You use it as a gauge, a starting point on the road to your great accomplishment.
Same goes for your self-image. Bring your weaknesses into the Theatre of the Mind, and create something new.
Here endeth the lesson.
Matt Furey
Introducing… the Dr. Maxwell Maltz Classic Library
Now you can own the Dr. Maxwell Maltz Classic Library.
Dr. Maxwell Maltz created his self-improvement phenomenon, Psycho-Cybernetics, at age 61, after an already varied, colorful and exceptionally successful career as a cosmetic surgeon, writer and speaker.
He discovered that outer scars could be healed but inner scars remain as distorted beliefs and perceptions in the subconscious mind. Dr. Maltz wrote his flagship book which went on to sell millions of copies. He also wrote companion books explaining how to best use his system of “success conditioning techniques” now available to you in these new classic reprints.
The first five books of the Maxwell Maltz Classic Library are ready for you.
Exclusively Available at maxwellmaltzlibrary.com/books
Matt Furey
The God Realm
There are those who believe, as I do, that we were created in the image of God, and that God gave us, as human beings, the power to create.
Then there are those who think that they, mere mortal human beings, are equal to God.
They are not god-like.
No, they are better than that.
They are God, as far as they are concerned.
Meanwhile, these same “human Gods” also tend to think that the stars, and the planets and the cosmos are somehow running the show, making life joyful or miserable for us.
Hmmm.
It seems to me, if you as a human are also a God, then why not direct the stars and planets? Why not bend them to your will?
When Mercury goes into retrograde, and this is “causing” everyone to have problems in the communication realm (because no one ever miscommunicates when Mercury isn’t in retrograde) – send Mercury back further, or forward, whichever you so choose.
After all, you’re the captain of spaceship earth, as well as everything else in the universe.
Oh, you say you can’t do that? Well then,
that must mean you’re not the “unlimited
being” you espouse yourself to be.
It’s a wonderful thing to break through self-imposed limitations. It’s a wonderful thing to be able to create the things in life that matter. It’s also wonderful to realize that somewhere along the line, limits will be placed upon you, and those limits aren’t coming from you.
As a youth, I had many dreams. In the spring and summer I wanted to be a big league ballplayer.
In the winter I wanted to be seven-feet tall and play in the NBA.
In the fall I wanted to be a running back in the NFL.
Ultimately, I settled on two sports: swimming and wrestling – and then I chose just one – and got fairly good, winning numerous titles.
After winning a national championship in college wrestling, I got involved in martial arts and along with the teachings in Psycho-Cybernetics, this is where I began to develop my physical and mental skills to a much higher plane. I began to accomplish goals that I never dreamt possible at an earlier time in my life.
Even so, even though I removed so many self-imposed limitations, this doesn’t make me “limitless” or a God. All of us have limits, even those who refuse to believe this to be the case.
All by yourself, all things are NOT possible.
But with God’s help, the impossible can be accomplished, if it is allowed to be.
I believe the Creator gave human beings an imagination… and we are wise to use it productively to break free of self-imposed limitations – as we create positive results in the world, for ourselves and others.
Many of our limitations are self-imposed – but not all of them.
The reason I’m NOT seven-feet tall has nothing to do with self-directed limited thinking.
Likewise, the reason we have wars that last for years has nothing do with Mercury being in retrograde for a month or two each year.
Here endeth the lesson.
Matt Furey
5 Minutes to Success?
How much time should you spend each day practicing the exercises in Psycho-Cybernetics?
If your answer is based upon what Dr. Maltz advised, you’ll probably think you should be practicing for at least “one hour per day.”
Yesterday I spoke with a gentleman who was trying to do just that; an hour per day of practice, and he figured something was wrong with him because he couldn’t stick to the routine.
Nothing wrong with the gentleman at all. He just needed a revised approach.
In the updated and expanded edition of Psycho-Cybernetics, you may have noticed that I advised you to begin with five minutes.
Why did I write something that contradicted Dr. Maltz?
I did so because of what Maltz wrote in his final book.
What was it that he wrote?
I believe the title, 5 Minutes to Happiness, gives it away.
Begin by practicing the mental exercises each day for five minutes, and you’re on your way to happiness… and success. Begin by challenging yourself to invest five minutes each day, whether you feel up to it or not.
Don’t give yourself a big daily performance goal of practicing for an hour. You may hang in there for a day or two, but eventually, you’ll probably say to yourself, “I can’t do it today. I don’t have an hour.”
And this excuse takes hold of you the next day, and the next and the next. Your grand intentions went out the window almost as soon as you started.
Dr. Maltz figured this out after Psycho-Cybernetics came out and that’s why he adjusted the time frame in his final book.
It’s not an “Hour of Power” that you need to get rolling. It’s five minutes.
Set aside five minutes and do this everyday without missing for 30 days. Challenge yourself. And track yourself.
Keep a journal or make an X on a wall calendar. Do something where you can see that you challenged yourself to do something each day, and you are doing it.
If you take the five-minute challenge, and you never miss a day for 30 days, I can explain to you in advance what is bound to happen. Do you want to hear what that is?
Here tis:
1. The five minutes you are investing each day to meet the challenge will make you feel better.
2. When you meet the challenge each day, your good feelings will expand.
3. The expansion of good feelings will lead to momentum.
4. The momentum will lead to a natural upgrade, i.e. without any pressure on yourself to do more, you will probably double, triple or quintuple the amount of time you are taking for yourself.
5. And within six months to a year, because the exercises are making a profound difference in your life, you are spending an hour each day doing them.
Can you see how different the model I’ve show you is from the “get out of your comfort zone” and “take massive action” notions?
One model is the fire method. You light yourself on fire to get things done, totally unaware that fire burns. Burn out is an example of the nervous system being fried from the “fire method.”
The model I am proposing is the water method. You give yourself enough water to wade in, to tread water in, to swim in – but not so much that you’re drowning.
Begin with five minutes each day – not an hour. This is the way to make sure you meet the challenge, build momentum and succeed.
Here endeth the lesson.
Matt Furey
Where’s Your Other Sock?
Ever notice how one of your favorite socks disappears after you put it in the washer or dryer?
I’m not sure which machine is responsible, but after observing this phenomenon for decades, there’s got to be a “sock monster” hiding in the laundry room.
Socks are the only article of clothing the sock monster will consume. It’s not interested in shirts, shorts, slacks, underwear or towels. Just socks, albeit only one at a time.
Within a year, if you had three pairs of socks to begin with, you’re down to one solo sock. One by one, the socks disappear until you need to get another three-pack.
Now you might think this has nothing to do with goals, or success or achievement, but it most certainly does.
Your mind doesn’t outwardly object when you give it a bunch of goals to accomplish, but inwardly it does. Similar to the the washer and dryer, if we unwittingly jam our success mechanism with too many goals, there is a strong tendency that one by one, we lose sight of them. Just as is true with our socks, if we lose sight of them we are no longer in touch with them.
But what would happen if you washed your socks one pair at a time? What are the chances that the evil sock monster would dare consume any of them?
Similarly, if you focused on one goal at a time, and you broke it into bite-sized chunks, what are the chances that you’d lose focus on it?
The answer to these questions is “almost zero.”
Yet, as a high-performance coach, it’s amazing how many people jam their internal computer by visualizing a bunch of goals in one session, then wondering where all of them went.
Sure, you can set a number of goals – but shine the laser beam on one at a time rather than all of them.
Make your success process as easy as possible. Make it easy for you to win and difficult to lose.
Focus on one short-term goal at a time and at the end of a year you’ll have a drawer-full of accomplishments; successes you can stuff in one of those socks that could have gotten away.
Matt Furey
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A Question from India
Hello Mr Matt Furey.
I am Siva from India. I have been reading Psycho-Cybernetics book for the past 6 months and I am experiencing a dramatic change in my life. I have one doubt. What should be the time interval between visualization practice and relaxation practice? I mean after visualizing, when we have to do relaxation practice?
Please let me know. Thank you.
Hello Siva. I appreciate your question. I will give you an uncommon answer. Whenever you practice relaxation techniques of any kind, you are simultaneously visualizing. Suppose, for example, that I tell you to breathe deeply. I ask you to inhale and imagine it going all the way to your feet. Is this not a visualization? Yes, it is. You cannot follow my suggestion to breathe deeply without picturing yourself doing so. And if I suggest you inhale all the way to your feet, this is also a mental image.
When we do something physically, we may think that we “just do it,” but it is always preceded by a mental picture. If I ask you to make a fist, you must picture a fist before you make one. If I ask you to stand, or sit, or lie down, you picture it first.
This means that ALL the relaxation exercises in Psycho-Cybernetics are training you in the art of visualization. This means you don’t need to think so much about it. Whenever you are relaxing you are also using mental imagery.
Before you picture a goal, it is wise to take some time to imagine and feel yourself relaxing before doing so. The relaxation visualization sets you up for the goal visualization.
At any time of the day you can work on relaxing your body; same goes for visualization.
Matt Furey
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Matt Furey
