Psycho-Cybernetics - See Yourself at Your Best

Matt Furey's Super Human Success Blog

Success Reluctance

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Everyday it’s the same old drivel.

“I’m not worthy. I feel like a fraud. I’m not good enough yet. Who am I to write a book, teach a course, train people, etc.?”

If you’ve ever entertained such thoughts, you’re not alone – and it’s a big freakin’ club.

So big, in fact, that the author of a 35-million copy best-seller, a CLASSIC that changed the world of self-development forever, had this same crappy thinking rummaging around in his brain, too.

Yes, Dr. Maxwell Maltz, author of Psycho-Cybernetics, experienced what I call “Success Reluctance.”

Who was he to write about psychology? After all, he was JUST a plastic surgeon!

Who was he to write about a virtually unknown subject called the “self-image” – and how a person who changes the way he or she sees this invisible “self,” can dramatically change outcomes, results, talents, skills, abilities, and so on?

Maltz was also reluctant because of the troubling question: “What will my colleagues think?”

Getting over this inane, inner hypothetical was vital to him moving forward with what he envisioned.

What’s interesting though, is how the same person who experiences “success reluctance” thinks it only affects him. No one else has this thought. Just me.

Uh-huh.

As a coach of M.D.’s, Ph.D’s, and plenty of other professionals, I’ve yet to meet the person who has never experienced self-doubt or reluctance.

So it’s not a matter of whether you have it or not – as much as it is amplifying the imagery of what you want, what you envision, while refiling the reluctance and doubt.

If you’ve ever gone to bed filled with positive aspirations and opened your eyes in the morning filled with doubt, once again, you’re not alone.

But if you want to separate yourself from your doubt, and free yourself from self-inflicted bondage, you’ll move on in spite of the negative.

If you wait until all the doubt clears before you move, you may be waiting forever.

Here endeth the lesson.

Matt Furey

Leave the Losers Behind

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Inside each and every human being is an automatic mechanism that operates in one of two ways: As a creative success mechanism or as a failure mechanism.

Which mechanism we are using at the present, depends largely upon what we’ve programmed into our minds – or what we’ve unwittingly allowed others to put into us.

The mental imagery we habitually picture in our own minds is what we tend to get out of life.

Whether we realize it or not, the people we associate with play a large role in either helping us move up – or keeping us stuck. Hence the saying: Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.

Whether we choose to believe it or not, we are influenced by the people we associate with.

Every interaction counts.

Whether we talk face-to-face, over the phone, over Skype, by text, Twitter or Facebook – everything counts.

When I look at HOW I got to become a champion athlete, there are many factors that went into it – but having a great coach was a major part of it. The same is true of my study of martial arts, business, and so on

Somewhere along the line I was influenced by someone who knew more and knew better than I did.

Now, the question many people have is, “Can you break out of the doldrums when you’re surrounded by people who want to keep you down?”

The answer is yes.

But there is a process because most people aren’t going to instantly manifest the very person who can and will help you.

The process starts with beginning to think BIGGER..

Not BIG.

I said, BIGGER.

You begin to see yourself rising UP and OUT of where you are.

How do you begin to SEE YOURSELF this way if you’re surrounded by negativity?

Well, subscribing to this email is a start. Understand that “readers are leaders” – or, as Mark Twain would say, “The person who does not read is no better off than the person who cannot read.”

Read the classic best-seller Psycho-Cybernetics, and discover the unstoppable power of a positive self-image.

Get audio programs on Theatre of the Mind and Psycho-Cybernetics as well, to reinforce the message while you’re driving.

As you begin to do these things, keep them to yourself. Your job is lifting yourself up first, not those who are negative. You cannot help others unless you’ve helped yourself, so keep your vision, your goals, your mental images locked inside your own mind.

Everyday, begin to think BIGGER. Not so big that you’re fearful and timid about taking action. But big enough that you can see yourself in a better place.

Once you’re in a better place, think BIGGER again.

And keep doing this until one day you come to a realization such as, “I believe I can do anything I set my mind on.”

Here endeth the lesson.

Matt Furey

P.S. Another thing you can do is be a part of the Matt Furey Theatre of the Mind Facebook group. You’ll be able to watch videos that are helpful, including one I am putting up this week on How to Defeat the Failure Mechanism.

Are Affirmations a Crock of Crap?

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Pick up a self-help book and most of the time, it doesn’t take long for the author to begin espousing the glories of positive affirmations.

Many of these authors are well-meaning, but in almost all cases, they are just repeating what someone else wrote or said.

The sad truth is that many of these authors pass on what other authors wrote when they have no proven track record whatsoever of it working in their own life.

One book tells you that you’ll get rich if you write affirmations about “having it all.”

Tell yourself, I AM RICH.

Or, I AM A MILLIONAIRE.

As you begin to follow this advice, things often go in reverse.

The authors will then tell you that the reason you’re struggling is because you have “limiting beliefs.” You’re advised to take note of what all your limiting beliefs are, then change them to their positive counterpart.

Thing is, you might have a million and a half negative or limiting beliefs, many of them unconscious, so you’re not exactly about to figure out what ALL of them are, must less record them, so you can reverse them.

Ugh!

There’s got to be a simpler way than this.

And in fact, there is.

Let me begin with a simple question:

What if the notion that you need to change your limiting beliefs was just an idea, and not necessarily an idea that is true?

What if the notion that all these limiting beliefs are keeping you from being rich, prosperous, famous and highly fortunate were, for the most part, a very clever marketing ploy designed to make the author of the book wealthy – but not YOU?

Well, all I can say is, it wouldn’t be the first time someone sold something that doesn’t work – and didn’t care – so long as it made him a bundle.

The reality is that MOST affirmations are a crock of crap.

And most of your so-called limiting beliefs that you’re being advised to fix, aren’t holding you back in the least. There’s no need to fix them because they’re not relevant when you have your mind focused in the most effective, efficient and natural way.

Now, let me clarify something: I am in favor of SOME affirmations. I am not in favor of MOST.

In fact, I have taught thousands of people to do the exact opposite of what the positive thinking books advise, and whaddyaknow, the method I taught worked far better.

Por ejemplo, you’ve probably heard about the three P’s of positive affirmations. If not, the theory is that whatever you affirm must:

Be positive
Be personal
Be in the present tense

This means that you would not say or think, “I’m hungry. I am going to go get something to eat.”

No, no, no. Don’t do that, even though you’ve successfully filled your belly for an entire lifetime doing precisely that.

Instead, be a good little self-help disciple and follow the three P’s.

Instead of “I’m hungry” you should write “I am well fed now.” Or, “I am always eating enough food.”

Now, don’t laugh too hard. This is el Furecat reducing self-help to the ridiculous, and for a reason.

You would never in a zillion years think of being hungry as a negative or limiting belief, would you?

Why? Because it’s the truth, at least once a day, isn’t it?

Why not report the truth then? What would be the harm in doing so?

“Oh, but the gurus say….”

Forget the gurus. Think. Really think about what I am writing to you about.

Why would you write an affirmation such as, “I am a millionaire now” when you don’t even do such a thing for simple everyday accomplishments such as feeding your face (and stomach)?

It appears to me that saying, “I am hungry” and “I need food” is working out pretty well for you.

But maybe this is too complicated. Perhaps we need another scenario for validation.

Alrighty then, let’s say you’re driving around town and you look at the fuel gauge and it says that you’ve got five miles left before you’re completely out of gas.

What to do?

Oh, I know. How about this? “My car is now completely filled with gas.” Or this, “The universe always supplies me with all the gas I need.”

What do you think?

Is that going to put gas in your tank?

I don’t think so.

In fact, I know so.

I don’t even “believe” it to be so. I absolutely, 1,000% percent KNOW that saying, “My car is now completely filled with gas,” makes about as much sense as a fart in church.

If your goal is to travel another 100, 1,000 or 10,000 miles, you better say to yourself something very limited, such as: “I need gas. I’m almost empty. I better stop at that gas station over there (first one you see).”

To be continued…

Here endeth the lesson!

Matt Furey

P.S. Want more on this topic – and soon, then be sure to join my Facebook group – Matt Furey Theatre of the Mind

Over-Thinking Dooms Losing Team Again

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When you compare those who win to those who don’t, you’ll often find a few variables worth examining, such as:

1. Thinking v. Over-thinking
2. Motivated v. Over-motivated
3. Creatively Alive v. Inhibited

Sports played at the highest level are often a superb way to analyze the ways of the winner versus the ways of the loser.

One coach allows the team that brought you to the show the opportunity to play.

The other team puts out a different team each day, mostly based upon what the computerized data shows.

So, even when you must win or your team is eliminated, instead of putting the very best players out there, you put what the data shows.

And you lose… again.

One man with Correct Thinking beats the over-thinking of computerized data, or the constant shuffling and platooning of players.

This same scenario plays out in my world of info-publishing as well.

Here’s how it looks:

A person comes up with what could very well be a best-selling title for a product, but then the person starts to over-think. Months, even years, can go by as the person fidgets with the title. Meanwhile, no progress is being made.

I see this happen every single day. I’m guilty of doing it myself, at times, as well.

It’s not good.

Here’s why:

Let’s take a look at what many people have told me is a HORRIBLE title for a book.

It’s called….

PSYCHO-CYBERNETICS.

I didn’t write the original, so don’t blame me.

And don’t blame me for the fact that the book has sold over 35 million copies worldwide.

With a bad title that truly sucks.

I wrote a book back in 1999 that was published in February of 2000.

It’s called…

COMBAT CONDITIONING.

One of my brothers called me to tell me it wasn’t a very good title. He said I should come up with something that targets people a little better. He told me to do some research and come up with something with more appeal.

I ignored him.

My book went on to become a best-seller – and I became a pioneer in the field of bodyweight exercise.

Thinking is good. Over-thinking is a disease.

As one of my mentors used to say, “Think, don’t Stink.”

Coming up with the PERFECT title for anything is impossible. It’s about the same when naming your unborn child.

How many people do you know who were given the PERFECT name at birth?

Perfection is an imagined reality that exists in Nowheresville.

There is always something better.

A better title, a better name, a better lineup for a ball game.

Put your thinking cap on – but know when to remove it and get in where the action is.

Win, lose or draw, action will give you information on what you can do to improve – but NOT what you can do to be perfect.

Perfect doesn’t exist.

Here endeth the lesson.

Matt Furey

Do This First Thing in the Morning

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It’s been a while since I gave you a glimpse of what I’m currently doing to put myself into a heightened state of flow after getting up in the morning.

Today I will reveal something you may find immensely and immeasurably valuable.

Here’s the A-HA:

Many people get up each day and read from something inspirational or motivational. They may read for 30-60 minutes to start their day. This is very sound and practical.

Here’s a slight twist to the above: Instead of reading for 30-60 minutes, I pull out a quote, a passage or a poem that I’m fond of. Then I open my journal and instead of writing about my day, I do as Mark Twain advised, and record something I want to remember.

Think of this. If you hear or read something profound, but you can’t recall it verbatim, you don’t completely own it.

But when you can recall the verse, passage, poem or quote, it becomes a guide in your life.

I write all my entries in cursive because it’s proven to fire up the brain at a much higher level than printing or typing. In fact, it’s not even close. Research for yourself if you don’t believe me.

While focusing on my breathing, I write something in the very best handwriting I can muster on that day. I relax and breathe as I write.

For the first few days I may write the same passage this way, with no pressure to remember. Then, after a few days, I decide if I want to memorize it. If so, I begin using the Power of Mental Imagery to memorize it rapidly. If you use mental imagery (not rote memorization), you can memorize much, much faster.

Where to begin?

You could pull a passage from the Bible, such as Psalm 23. Or you could uncover Robert Frost’s poem, The Road Not Taken.

Or you could find a quote you love that you want to be guided by during the day.

Give this a whirl and let me know if you have any other questions about it.

Matt Furey

Why Impressing Others Doesn’t Work

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Shania Twain may have said it best in her song, “That Don’t Impress Me Much.”

The more we TRY to impress others, the less natural we are, the less flow we experience and the less power we have.

Consequently, the more we try the more we fail. And when we try even harder, we end up even more frustrated.

But then, one day we throw our hands up and exclaim, “So what? It’s not the end of the world. I’ll live through it either way.”

And what happens?

We succeed much more often because we are FREE.

Free to stop over-thinking and DO. Free to be Natural and at EASE.

Yes, caring about how you do is a factor – but caring TOO MUCH is never a good thing. It’s a distraction because it overwhelms our brain and nervous system with unnecessary feedback. Plus, our intention is mixed. Not only do we want what we want – but now we want to impress someone else on top of itt. Take care of yourself. You cannot impress others no matter how much you try, so focus on what matters and nothing else.

This is why the art of letting go (of your breath) is so powerful. When we want something so badly that we stifle our breathing and tense our bodies, the result is generally lackluster, at best.

When you OVER-care or OVER-think about a result, that’s the time to tell your servo-mechanism to take over. Inhale and exhale and trust the creative mechanism.

You’ve already pictured what you want – now it’s time to let go of it and be totally free.

Inhale deeply and let your breath go.

Clear the slate. Clear the monitor of your mind. Clear the negative self-talk obstacles from your path.

When you focus on your breath, you become natural. When you stop trying to impress, more often than not, you’ll end up being shocked with how different the result is for you, and how easy it was in comparison to the other approach.

Matt Furey

No Fear on Friday

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Here’s an idea. Instead of TGIF – Thank God it’s Friday, how about NFOF – No Fear on Friday?

It’s one day per week, for starters, where you stop worrying and start living. It’s a day when you choose to use your weekend wisely, doing what you love to do, going after the dreams and goals you’ve put off. It’s a day to release unnecessary inhibitions, expand your courage and be more fully alive.

It’s not about getting sauced, partying or being lazy all weekend.

Now is your chance, this Friday and every other Friday, to grab control of your life at an entirely unprecedented level.

Write that book. Study that course. Catch your fish.

Do what makes your heart leap and your blood swim.

And guess where all of these shifts in doing take place first?

It’s called the Theatre of the Mind.

We see, we hear, we think about in the form of mental images, then we DO.

That’s how we human beings roll.

Whether your eyes are open or closed, you see things, then you act upon them.

Some people see things quickly and act immediately. Others see things and ponder a bit longer, in more detail, then act.

Others see images that all of the above is hogwash and not worth their time – and they act accordingly, too.

Whether you spend the weekend on the couch with a bottle of booze – or outdoors exploring nature – it starts within your own mind in the form of mental images that we turn into reality via our actions.

Want different results – choose different images.

The new images will lead to different behaviors and actions, and these lead to different results.

Doubt me?

Then take a few minutes to see yourself doing something different today or tonight, then stand back and observe as the seas part and the mountains open up new trails for you to explore.

Let’s Grow!

Matt Furey

P.S. by the way, many of you have asked if there’s a digital version of Theatre of the Mind. Yes, there is and you can download it here. .

No Mistakes – No Progress

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On a regular basis I work with authors in the making.

There are two types:

1. The writer who wants to make no mistakes – and remains a writer
2. The writer who accepts his or her mistakes, makes corrections and becomes an “author.”

As I tell my clients, being a writer is easy. Being an author requires much more.

One doesn’t sell anything. The other does.

One learns from mistakes and GROWS. The other abhors mistakes, stifles himself and goes nowhere.

Embracing your mistakes is the hallmark of a successful person.

Everything in your life that is working has both positive and negative charges or attributes.

The battery is an easy example. How well would your car battery work if it only had a positive – or only a negative?

Not at all.

The same is true when you analyze your successful journeys as well as your unsuccessful ones. When you’ve succeeded, you may note how you were able to use your mistakes as corrective feedback. Unemotionally, you looked at what was wrong and made a course correction that led to victory or to the accomplishment of your objective.

On the other hand, when you have a goal and you make a mistake and you get so upset about the mistake that you stop taking action to correct it, you are finished.

Yes, the journey of 10,000 miles begins with a single step – yet it’s important to realize that many of those steps will be “off-course.” You’ll be going in the wrong direction, unintentionally. But once you catch the error and change course, you realize that you were supposed to make that mistake, and without making it, you wouldn’t have succeeded.

Next time you make a mistake, learn from it. Use it to understand that something valuable was acquired that you wouldn’t be able to use unless the mistake happened.

Think of mistakes as nothing more than having a conversation with someone. You speak but mispronounce a word or use the wrong word. You note the error, clear your throat and correct it.

No emotional attachment to what was said a second earlier. Keep the car in drive and make an adjustment.

So simple, when you think about it.

Here endeth the lesson.

Matt Furey

You Are Not Responsible for EVERYTHING

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Another self-help misnomer is the notion that you are totally responsible for EVERYTHING that has ever taken place in your entire life, including before you were born.

Equally false is the idea that the MOST SUCCEESSFUL people on earth take 100 percent responsibility for everything that goes on in their life. They sure don’t. We only need to witness the theatrics of politicians and multi-millionaire athletes to come to a very different conclusion than what the self-help gurus proclaim.

In the realm of sports, not only do athletes not take responsibility for cheating, using performance enhancing drugs, and so on, but the media often has their backs. It all depends on WHO it is.

The “you must take 100 percent responsibility” is guilt-tripping at its worst – and horribly misleading.

For example, suppose you were born addicted to drugs because your mom was smoking crack.

Or suppose you’re one of these young boys who gets molested by a cardinal or bishop in the Catholic church.

Or suppose you are attacked on a subway when all you were doing was sitting quietly, minding your own business. .

The list goes on and on.

Yes, you were there during all of these events, but that doesn’t mean you’re responsible (guilty) for them happening – or that you “attracted” them.

If you’re responsible for everything that happens in your life, then why do we have laws?

If you’re truly personally responsible for everything, then why not make everyone who is ever victimized guilty?

You can’t do that, can you? So why take on such a burden emotionally or psychologically? It makes no sense at all.

If you’ll recall one of Dr. Maltz’ signature stories, the one about the young girl named Helen, who didn’t notice a difference after he dramatically improved her appearance. After delving into her past, he discovered that she was engaged to be married and her boyfriend ran off with someone else.

What did Dr. Maltz say to Helen? Well, I can tell you what he didn’t say. It wasn’t: “Look Helen, you need to take responsibility for this. You need to look in the mirror and realize that you’re at fault.”

Not at all. Instead he told Helen, “You didn’t run off with someone else, HE DID. Why blame yourself?”

Maltz’ compassionate words allowed Helen to put the past away and move on with her life, without taking responsibility for anything other than her feelings and mental pictures about what happened.

Years ago I wrote the following:

“We aren’t responsible for everything that happens to us in life, but we ARE responsible for how we think and respond to everything that happens.”

Here endeth the lesson.

Matt Furey

P.S. Did you know I have a Theatre of the Mind Facebook group?

P.P.S. Also, you can follow me on Instagram – @mattfureysays

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Free PDF of Theatre of the Mind Newsletter

Hello and welcome to Psycho-Cybernetics.com - the official site for the original (and expanded) teachings of Dr. Maxwell Maltz, author of the 35 million copy best-seller, Psycho-Cybernetics. I’m Matt Furey, author of the best-selling Nightingale-Conant audio book, Maxwell Maltz’ Theatre of the Mind.

When you subscribe to our Psycho-Cybernetics emails, I will immediately send you an email containing a FREE PDF ($100 value) of my Theatre of the Mind Masters Newsletter called Defeating the Failure Mechanism, which also features a Dr. Maltz piece, When Positive Thinking Doesn't Work. This highly regarded newsletter will show you how to apply the suggestions contained within it into your own life… and make changes for the BETTER!

Best,
Matt Furey
President, Psycho-Cybernetics Foundation

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