Still setting all those big, hairy, scary long-term goals?
How you coming along?
Yes, you better believe there is a simpler, better, easier and non-scary way to put yourself on the path to achieving more than you ever thought possible.
And it doesn’t require you to look five, 10 or 20 years into the future in every area of your life.
It doesn’t require that you SET GOALS THAT SCARE YOU.
It doesn’t require you to get out of your COMFORT ZONE.
It doesn’t require MASSIVE ACTION.
Nor does it require you to THINK BIG.
None of the above were taught by Dr. Maxwell Maltz in his classical best-seller, Psycho-Cybernetics. None of the above are taught by me.
I’m currently in the process of interviewing prospective coaching clients – people who want to get the real goods on successful living.
If you want to go beyond where you currently are, if you want to follow a simple approach to successful living that gives you results you can look at and examine on a daily basis, then reach out to me and we’ll see where it leads.
Best,
Matt Furey
Positive Fault Finding
Ever get called a fault finder? Think it’s a negative?
Well, it most certainly can be, and oftentimes is – but leave it to el Furecat to put a positive spin on what so many people assume to be a horrendous negative.
As I often say, there are positives in every negative and negatives in every positive. Almost nothing in the human or earthly realm is one hundred percent one-way.
You may recall the line about how “no one ever erected a statue to a critic.” This line may be true, but it doesn’t mean you should negate ALL statements that are “supposedly” negative.
Why do I highlight the word “supposedly?” Because correcting course by becoming aware of your mistakes is supposed to be a positive.
Think of it this way, although fault finding can sting, the depth of the sting or the lack thereof, usually depends on WHO is finding fault, and how YOU process the information.
For example, the other day a woman wrote to tell me I had a typo on my bio page. She pointed out my use of the word “doormat” and suggested it should read “dormant.” I wrote to inform her that her evaluation was incorrect.
I didn’t condemn the woman; nor was I upset, although I could have been offended.
At this juncture in my career, I am used to men and women writing to tell me about my typos. I am also used to the reality that none of them ever point out anything good about my writing before they inform me of my error. They truly pride themselves on finding fault and expect me to see their keen insight the same way they see it in themselves, i.e. they are merely “trying to help.”
In the olden days, when I received emails that told me I had a typo, it used to irk me. Who the hell is this person? What has he or she ever written?
Yes, the answers to the questions shown above make a big difference. Why? Because if the person writing me has street-cred, if he or she is a best-selling author or seven-figure copywriter, well then, I’m probably all ears, don’t you think?
At the same time, if someone fault-finds and is wrong, I immediately let the person hear it. Some take this well – others don’t.
I remember a lad a couple years ago, who told me that I was making a mistake on a product. He was totally off-base and wrong, not only then, but to this very day. The dude didn’t appreciate me pointing out that he was wrong, and told me I am an egomaniac and should “stop being so defensive.”
Wait a second, bubba. You accuse me of doing something wrong, and when it’s pointed out that I’m not wrong, you play the “don’t be defensive” card? It’s a strange game some people play. They must stay in control, even when you prove them wrong.
Those with the highest credentials generally don’t have the desire to point out a typo or two in my emails, unless we are friends, and in that case, they generally just blurt out what they uncover.
“Hey Furey, page three, line six, you misspelled the word bloke. It’s not spelled bloak.”
“Aaah,” I reply. “You’re on it. Thanks.”
But if the person is wrong, I let him know. Then it’s time to see how HE reacts.
If he says, “Don’t be so defensive,” I realize I’m dealing with a lunatic.
Now let’s put some moolah where the action is. “No one ever builds a statue for a critic,” we are told, but… if you are PAID to be a critic, you may find yourself enjoying the enormous upside of fault-finding.
I just read today’s New York Post headlines, as I do each day. They were jumping on the shock jock, Howard Stern, saying he’s gone soft. Ouch. Then they thumped the Oscars for being the bore that they are. Viewership is down to less than 10 million. Double Ouch.
Every highly paid news anchor is a master fault finder. Diddo for the highest-paid coaches in sports. Same-same for writers.
Fault-finding is a highly profitable skill – when it’s placed in the proper hands.
As a champion athlete and martial artist, as a best-selling writer, as a parent and coach, I am a master fault finder. I get paid handsomely to find the bottlenecks that, when removed, make what you’re doing masterful – or at the bare minimum, a helluva lot better.
This means, if someone calls me a fault finder or a critic, it makes me smile.
It also means that I search for coaches who don’t polish my apples or shine my bald head. I look for coaches who will tell it to me straight, without all the bullocks.
Without a doubt, there are plenty of coaches who take fault finding too far. They never give any praise. All they do is belittle you and cut you down. That’s not the type of coach I look for. Similarly, I don’t want a coach who is always positive, who will never tell me what’s wrong because he’s afraid my feelings will get shredded.
Ideally, what I am looking for is a coach who gives me honest feedback; someone who tells me when I’m coming along, when I’m improving – but is also willing and capable of telling me that something isn’t up to a certain standard.
Show me a coach who does nothing but sing your praises, and I’ll show you a loser. Every winning coach in every sport is a master fault finder, and they can and do take their statements and their record to the bank.
See it. Feel it. Live it.
Matt Furey
P.S. Theatre of the Mind and Zero Resistance Living are waiting in the wings for those of you who are ready to fly. Get some NOW.
Kicking IS the Habit
The old commercials in the 1960’s and 70’s spoke about “kicking the habit” when it came to cigarette smoking.
Framed positively, I think of kicking AS the daily habit I want in my life.
Instead of kicking a bad habit, though, I picture kicking a GOOD habit into high gear. And kicking, in and of itself, is superb exercise for brain and body.
’tis part of the reason that I love kicking. Lots and lots of kicking.
Kicking footballs, soccer balls… even basketballs.
Kicking heavy bags. Kicking weeds.
All are good, but kicking into an imaginary scenario that I’m picturing in the air, that’s my favorite.
Last night I knocked out 100 kicks. That’s the goal I set for “light” days. But once I get going, even on easy training days, it can be hard to stop because once the dopamine and serotonin kick in, it’s a different world, one where time ceases to exist.
I take plenty of short rest breaks when I’m kicking. I don’t just kick until I’m done. It’s not uncommon for me to begin with kicks in sets of 10. I do them in super slow motion, slow motion, at a fair clip as well as at lightning fast. The variances make it easy to get my work in and make the training invigorating.
I start small so I can tackle it all.
The way I look at it, 10 kicks a day, without missing, is better than thinking I should do 1,000, but I never start because I’ve set a goal so big that I’m resisting going after it.
And that’s one of the previously unrevealed truths about setting all those big, hairy goals. Some of those hairs get stuck on your tongue and in the back of your throat. They make you resist and rebel against the very thing you supposedly decided upon.
Small daily goals remove the emotional resistance you may have to “doing the work.” If you don’t turn something into a “chore,” then your mind is free to have fun and enjoy what you’re doing. It’s also free to go way beyond the initial goal you set. Way, way beyond.
Kick your habits into high gear, one swat at a time.
Matt Furey
P.S. If you’ve already read the 35 million copy best-seller, Psycho-Cybernetics, then take a gander at the advanced courses: Zero Resistance Living and Theatre of the Mind
You, are the Director
Think of your life as a major motion feature, and in this movie, you’re more than an actor. You’re also the director, the producer, the editor, as well as the audience.
When you begin to see yourself from this vantage point, you gain an advantage, a sense of well being and control, over every aspect of your life.
Instead of doubting whether or not you can change the way you think, feel and act, you realize you CAN.
The director within says, “cut,” and has you to perform the scene again. You continue to make adjustments until the director within is pleased with the improvements.
Viewing your life from a broader perspective isn’t a one-time exercise that sticks with you forever. All improvements in life are in accord with the Law of Practice.
Visualization practice is similar to a daily shower. If you practice showering once a week, you will look, smell and feel better for one day. If you shower daily, you are better off each and every day.
Practice, or the lack of it, makes you or breaks you
Participating in a consistent visualization practice will benefit you in seen and unseen ways. To reap the rewards, make sure you’re reading and listening to the truisms that are available at Psycho-Cybernetics.
And when you are ready to go to the next level with me as your coach, go here and let’s see how I can help you become the director of your own major motion feature.
See it. Feel it. Do it.
Matt Furey
Big Goals – Big Energy?
If you want more energy for each day, then set your goals BIG and think BIGGER.
But what if you’ve already done that and you can’t get yourself out of bed in the morning because you’re paralyzed with fear, worry and self-doubt?
This is what happens to many people who’ve been taught the standard goal-setting procedures. You know the ones I’m talking about. The ones where you set big, hairy, ludicrous goals, especially ones that “scare” you.
Yes, it is ludicrous to set a goal that scares you. And it is the polar opposite of what Dr. Maltz taught in Psycho-Cybernetics.
As for goals that inspire you, that’s a different story altogether.
The truth is it doesn’t take a big goal to get you off your duff. Small, simple goals that you can nail on a daily basis will definitely do. And then once a month or every two weeks, you stretch yourself. You go where you’ve never gone before – yet you do so without anxiety, worry or the ridiculous notion of “getting out of your comfort zone.”
Huh? What?
You mean I don’t need to get out of my comfort zone?
Correct. You need to find your comfort zone and expand it without even trying to do so, without giving any thought to it whatsoever.
Want to learn how to do this? Then contact me about coaching by going here.
See it. Feel it. Be it.
Matt Furey
When Goal Setting Isn’t Working
There are many reasons that so many goal setting methods don’t work for the majority of the people who use them.
Here are seven of those reasons:
1. The goals are too big.
2. The goals tend to create fear, panic, anxiety and nervousness.
3. The goals don’t spontaneously put you “in the zone” – and the teachers of the methods erroneously claim that ALL success comes from getting OUT of your comfort zone. This is easily refuted by observing how quickly children (and adults) learn when they are comfortable versus how difficult it is for them to learn when their nerves are rattled.
4. The goals involve too many action steps.
5. The goals are all about money, status, fame and power.
6. The goals are things you think you “should” do, be or have rather than what is best for you.
7. The goals are only about results and never cover a procedural system that will make attainment of the objective much easier.
Yes, there are people who believe the opposite of what I’ve shown above, but as I so often tell them, “Find the places in Psycho-Cybernetics where Dr. Maltz teaches you to do any of the above. And when you find that I am in error, give me the page, paragraph and line.”
I seriously doubt you’ll be able to find Dr. Maltz telling you to “set goals that scare you,” or to “get out of your comfort zone.”
Why?
Because neither of these notions helps facilitate your brain and nervous system automatically and effortlessly moving toward the targets you have in mind.
Tis true.
How about setting goals that inspire you, goals that create momentum, goals that catapult you into “the zone” where everything you do feels as though you have the magic touch?
That’s what I teach, my friend.
If you want to learn how to truly apply Psycho-Cybernetics, then check out mycoaching program, by going here.
See it. Feel it. Be it.
Matt Furey
What the H?
A lot of people ask the wrong questions.
“How are you going to do that? How are you going to make more, do more, be more?”
These are what I call “What the H?” questions. They are out of line, as well as out of order.
Your top priority is having your “what?” established.
A “what question” asks you to search your mind for a specific target. A “how question” tends to begin an internal debate about whether the target is within the realm of possibility.
There is a time and a place for “how questions,” but it is NOT before you ask “what questions.”
Picture what you want. Choose a specific target. After doing so, you can ask yourself how you’re going to pull it off, how you going to get it done.
Or, better yet, you can continue asking yourself what questions, such as, “What am I going to do to get this done? What am I prepared and willing to do to create this result?”
One of the biggest keys to using Psycho-Cybernetics effectively is establishing the WHAT before the HOW.
“What’s my goal for today?” causes an entirely different mindset than, “How am I going to get through today?”
What questions get you to think in terms of possibilities that can become realities. How questions keep you locked in resistance-mode over whether or not you can accomplish something.
Replace your how with a what –
and you’ll walk with a strut.
See and experience the difference –
of living life without resistance.
See it. Feel it. Become it.
Matt Furey
P.S. More on turning How into What in my best-selling Nightingale-Conant program, Theatre of the Mind.
P.P.S. For information on coaching with me, go here
How We Grow
“Getting into the flow,
it’s how we grow;
and come to know,
our lives are but kneaded dough,
where we co-create the show,
with bendable bow,
and breakable arrow.”
Matt Furey
Best Way to Practice Anything… and Get Good
The best way to practice something and get good is to do what almost nobody teaches.
Instead of applying more pressure during a practice or training session – you do the unthinkable: You eliminate the pressure from the equation.
As soon as you add the element of pressure to a practice, over-anxiety, over-motivation and excessive tension show up.
You can read all about this in Chapter 13 of Psycho-Cybernetics.
Each time I read this chapter, and I’ve been reading it since 1987, I get a new insight, a new idea, a different way to apply the teachings.
Shadowboxing is an example of how to practice without pressure. It was something I first began doing as a high school wrestler, but we called it shadow drilling.
When I used shadow drilling regularly, my results were off the charts. But because no one ever pulled me aside and told me about this “secret,” I didn’t realize until later on the correlation and connection between the victories I attained and the quiet solo workouts I had late at night when most people were sleeping.
A friend who played professional basketball and now coaches in the NBA, told me how he would get up early in the morning and shoot free throws when no one else was around. No crowd. No coach. No other players.
Zero pressure.
Did this help him improve his free throw shooting? In a big way.
Re-read Chapter 13 again. Mark it up and highlight it.
But do so in a quiet room when no one else is around.
I think you’ll find more than a few life-changers in those pages.
Matt Furey
Note: If you want to learn the details within the details of how to apply Psycho-Cybernetics and Theatre of the Mind, if you want to catapult yourself to the next level of success, then contact me about coaching.
Over-Motivation
All of us have seen people who are under-motivated, but can someone be over-motivated?
All throughout the latter chapters of Psycho-Cybernetics, Dr. Maltz refers to the dangers, not only of being overly-inhibited in word and deed, but also the pitfalls of being overly-hyped.
Yes, enthusiasm, motivation, inspiration and desire are essential qualities on a successful journey, but too much of any single quality can become a weakness. You can be so motivated to accomplish a goal that you push yourself out of contention. You have trouble relaxing and being natural because you want it sooooo bad.
There’s a fine line between having sufficient enthusiasm to accomplish an objective, and so much that you over-shoot the target.
Here are a few visuals of over-motivation:
1. Picture someone throwing wild haymakers in a fight instead of using short, quick and powerful jabs, hooks and uppercuts. As the fighter rears back with his best John Wayne impression, he gets popped several times.
2. A pitcher in softball or baseball is so determined to throw strikes that he or she cannot find the plate. Even worse, the ball sails over the catcher’s head, all the way to the backstop.
3. In a job interview, the applicant wants to be hired so badly that there is zero calmness under pressure. All the wrong answers are given for simple questions that you could easily handle if you were relaxed and at ease.
Back in my early years of business, the same client, Jack, who recommended Psycho-Cybernetics to me, told me he thought I was over-motivated. Even though I had read the book a couple times by then, I had no recall of the term “over-motivation.” The same is true of almost everyone I meet today and begin coaching.
Where is the fine line that separates having enough motivation and having too much?
That’s something you’ll discover over time, as you zig-zag your way through life. When you succeed, chances are you weren’t over-motivated. When you fail, you may have been lacking in desire. Then again, you might have had too much.
Keep in mind that a burning candle remains lit without you checking on it 24 hours a day. And so it is with a burning desire.
Check in once or twice per day to make sure your inner candle flame is still going. If it is still going, leave it alone.
Most candles don’t last a month. Most need to be replaced within a day. And so it is with your body, mind and soul. They need to be reignited on a daily basis.
When a candle is finished burning, start a new one. This is the same as practicing Theatre of the Mind. You learn to navigate, listen and feel when the light is going out, when the candle needs to be replaced. When it does, get it going. But don’t sit and watch the rest of the day to make sure it stays lit. Once the flame is going, trust the process and move through your day with the Zero Resistance Living mindset.
See it. Feel it. Be it.
Matt Furey
P.S. Interested in being coached by me? Then go here
