“Men seek retreats for themselves: houses in the country, sea-shores and mountains; and thou too art wont to desire such a thing very much. But this is altogether a mark of the most common sort of men, for it is in thy power whenever thou shalt choose to retire into thyself. For nowhere, either with more quiet or more freedom from trouble, does a man retire than into his own soul, particularly when he has within him such thoughts that by looking into them he is immediately in perfect tranquility; and I affirm that tranquility is nothing else than the good ordering of the mind. Constantly then give to thyself this retreat, and renew thyself.” – Marcus Aurelius
Words I Wish I Knew in College
“I used to know a boxer who fought well until he won the championship. In his next fight he lost the championship and looked bad doing so. After losing the title, he fought well again and regained the championship. A wise manager said to him, ‘You can fight as well as champion as when you’re the contender if you’ll remember one thing. When you step into that ring you aren’t defending the championship – you’re fighting for it. You haven’t got it – you’ve laid it on the line when you crawl through the ropes.”
Maxwell Maltz, M.D. – Psycho-Cybernetics, Updated and Expanded – page 153
After winning the national title as a junior, I continued to train in earnest for my senior year in the sport of collegiate wrestling.
Just as I had done before, I worked out three times per day. I polished my skills and increased my strength and speed. But I made a gargantuan mental mistake that negatively affected my performance.
Dr. Maltz spelled it out for me in his book, Psycho-Cybernetics.
What was that mistake? The same one the champion boxer made. I went into every match thinking to myself, “I’m the defending national champion.”
Along with this thought came enormous pressure.
I didn’t just want to win.
I told myself, “I HAVE TO WIN.”
Why did I have to win?
To prove that I was a national champion, which everyone knew, I had already done.
It’s a classic and common mistake. And this type of thinking isn’t an albatross experienced only by elite athletes. It can creep into any skill, any endeavor, including the art of writing.
Someone tells you that you’re good at something, and the next thing you know, instead of doing the thing the way you did it before, you’re trying to live up to the praise that’s ringing in your ears.
Before you weren’t trying. You were merely doing. And now you’re a mess.
You were far better off when you didn’t consider whether you were good or bad, when your goal wasn’t perfection.
Now getting the job done isn’t good enough. The job has to be perfect.
As Robert Fritz once said, “Perfection is a stupid goal.”
Sure, you can strive for perfection, and sometimes it can be a positive driver. But most of the time the ideal of perfection is a terrible burden that hurts you far more than it helps.
Keep this in mind as you pursue your goals. Perfection rarely visits. When it does, it lasts for a moment. And it almost always visits when we’re not looking for it or expecting it.
I’ve yet to hear of a single big league pitcher who threw a perfect game when that was the goal. The pitcher’s goal was to win. The perfect game was a bonus, and try all he wants for the rest of his career, it will probably never happen again.
Matt Furey
Swimming for Ideas
There’s a story in Think and Grow Rich about a man who engaged in the practice of “sitting for ideas.”
The man sat in a quiet room, undisturbed, until he came up with a useful, creative idea for himself, or the companies he consulted.
Great story that you may not find helpful because the inner secret to sitting for ideas is not revealed in the book. Sitting for ideas can only work if your mind is quiet; it can only work when you have successfully turned a question over to the subconscious part of your mind. This means you literally have to “let go and let God.”
Many people unknowingly use what Dr. Maltz referred to as “forebrain thinking” when they attempt to sit for ideas. And it doesn’t work because your forebrain is not the area of your brain that comes up with ideas or solves problems.
This helps explain why so many people get their best ideas while taking a shower, while swimming or taking a nap. When you’re “doing something else,” the forebrain is taking a rest.
If you are using your forebrain to come up with an idea, you’re asking the waiter to do the cook’s job.
The job of the waiter is to listen to what the customer orders, then relay this message to the cook. The waiter does NOT attempt to cook the food.
After the waiter relays the customer’s order, he or she temporarily forgets about the order that was given to the cook and finds another customer to wait on. While waiting on the next customer, the cook prepares the meal. When the waiter relays the next order to the cook, the first meal pops up on the counter.
This is how your mind works when you come up with creative ideas or answers to specific questions. If you stress yourself out for an idea, you’re not going to come up with anything useful because you’re not using your Creative Mechanism the way it is intended to be used.
Ideas and answers come when you take a rest from thinking, when you are engaged in doing something unrelated to the objective.
You pose a question to the subconscious part of your mind, and then you forget about it and do something else.
While doing something else, you allow yourself to be surprised when the answer gets delivered to you on a “platinum platter.”
It’s similar to forgetting a person’s name or not being able to recall a particular fact or detail. If you tell yourself, “I’m horrible at remembering names,” you have unwittingly directed your mind to NOT recall names or misplaced details.
But if you say to yourself, “Ugh. What is that person’s name again? What is it? What it it? Oh well, it’ll come to me later,” stand back and be amazed at how the name will come to you sometime later, with no conscious effort or “forebrain thinking.”
When does the answer come to you?
The answer comes of its own accord, often when (or where) you least expect it.
Trust the process.
Here endeth the lesson.
Matt Furey
When Hard Work Doesn’t Work
“The harder you work, the more stress and strain you put into a task, the harder your work becomes.”
– el Furecat
Hold the phone: If the quote mentioned above is true, then why do so many people tell you to work hard? Is hard work really the secret of success?
Well, it appears, on the surface, that hard work is the answer. If you’re not getting the results you want, it makes sense that if you put more time and energy into what you are doing, you’ll get better results. Straight down the line this is true – except for when it isn’t, which is quite often.
The secret of “hard work” is getting the feeling that you are aren’t working hard, even if you are.
For example, let’s say that you are terrible at a specific physical activity, such as shooting free throws. As outlined in Psycho-Cybernetics, Updated and Expanded, you can improve your success percentage by physically practicing free throws every day. In fact, in a 20-day study, those who physically practiced each day improved their percentage of made goals by 24%.
But…. and here’s the clincher, the group that didn’t physically practice, the group that ONLY practiced in their imagination, improved 23%.
Additionally, there was one group in the test that did not practice physically or mentally, and they showed zero improvement.
To summarize, the group that didn’t “work” or practice in anyway, got nowhere. And the two groups that did something each day, improved.
We can assume that the group who physically practiced “worked hard” at improving their free throws, and this helped them improve.
But what about the group who only visualized? Did they “work hard” at picturing the result they wanted, or did they merely take it easy and relax into the feel of the game?
Moreover, why wasn’t there a follow-up test with another group who practiced both the physical and the so-called “mental” aspects of shooting free throws?
Based upon my experiences as an athlete, martial artist, writer, and so on, I can unequivocally state that when you utilize both the physical and the psychological tools that are available, you improve far more than when you choose the physical over the mental, or vice versa.
When you use both tools, the physical and the psychological, an interesting realization takes place within you. And that realization is that the more relaxed you are while you work, the better job you will do.
You do not tend to sink more free throws by shooting them harder.
You do not tend to hit a golfball or baseball further by trying to hit it harder.
You do not write better or speak better by putting more effort into what you are communicating.
You relax your mind and your muscles, you picture what you want and then you allow the Creative Mechanism within to effortlessly guide you to your chosen destination.
In short, you appear to “work hard” by NOT working as hard as you thought was necessary to get the job done.
A pro is someone who makes his or her job appear effortless.
A pro removes the effort, the strain, the grunt mentality from the task at hand.
As a result, the pro understands that it isn’t hard work that leads to success. Instead, it is figuring out how to make what you were doing easier than it was before. And that will only come to you when you’ve put in the practice.
Here endeth the lesson.
Matt Furey
Positive Change Happens After Doing This
“A human being all acts and feels and performs in accordance with what he imagines to be true about himself and his environment. This is a basic and fundamental law of mind. It is the way we are built.”
– Maxwell Maltz, M.D. – Psycho-Cybernetics, Updated and Expanded – page 36
In the above passage, you can see that I underlined and emphasized the word “imagines.”
I have done so because so many self-development coaches automatically associate the word “imagines” with the word “believes.”
Can you imagine something and bring it about without believing it in a deep and significant way?
Yes, you can.
This is what we refer to as “testing” something to see what happens. You’re not really sure as to whether something will make a difference or not, so you give it a whirl and take note of your results.
Here’s a simple example:
One evening, not so long ago, I was observing a baseball player who wanted to throw the ball 90 miles per hour. He was stuck and struggling, maxing out around 87. The coach who was working with him kept giving him mechanical fixes, none of which added an iota of extra velocity.
After several minutes I asked the coach if I could make a suggestion. He agreed. I pulled the athlete to the side and gave him a different mental picture, one of him effortlessly throwing the ball. It was an exaggerated, hyperbolic and nonsensical mental picture, one that could NOT be turned into reality, one that the athlete could NOT possibly believe was true. I made no comment to this athlete whatsoever about his existing beliefs, or what I thought they should be.
On the next pitch the athlete threw the ball 89 miles per hour. This got him excited. He grabbed another ball and hit 89.9. And on his next throw, using the ridiculous mental imagery I gave him, he topped 90 miles per hour for the first time in his life.
When the radar gun showed 90, he looked at me and exclaimed, “Oh my, God. I can’t believe it. This is incredible. What you teach really works.”
“You didn’t need to believe it,” I replied. “All you needed to do was imagine it – and then it happened. Remember this as it applies in every area of your life, not just baseball.”
I realize the above flies in the face of those who think you need to change your limiting beliefs before any change takes place in your life.
I have not found that to be true.
On the other hand, I have found that once a person begins to change his or her limiting mental pictures into positive, broad and expansive images, a whole lot of positive change is forthcoming… and oftentimes, at a speed that defies logic.
Here endeth the lesson.
Matt Furey
The Best Way to Focus
“Picture yourself vividly as defeated and that alone will make victory impossible. Picture yourself vividly as winning and that alone with contribute immeasurably to success. Great living starts with a picture, held in your imagination, of what you would like to do or be.” – Dr. Harry Emerson Fosdick
It is not positive words or phrases that turn your life around. Rather, it is the mental pictures we form when we see, hear, recite or write positive words or phrases.
If you are trying to think positive with your words, and you’re not feeling a shift in how you feel (and you’re not getting positive results), then chances are beyond excellent that you are unconsciously and unintentionally picturing the opposite.
If you are feeling down, take note of what you are picturing that causes this feeling. You will discover it is NOT the words that do you in; it IS the images that ride along with the words.
When you change your negative mental pictures to ones that are positive, your emotional state will completely shift.. automatically, and almost regardless of the words you are using.
If you have a positive mental picture – you can express yourself with negative self-talk and it will be virtually irrelevant.
If you say, “I am going to flunk this exam,” but you are picturing yourself getting an A, the negative words are cancelled by the imagery.
If a boxer says, “I am going to win,” but he is picturing himself losing, he will probably lose.
This doesn’t mean you should pay zero attention to your words. It does mean that you will be better off when you are paying 99.9999 percent attention to your mental pictures.
Here endeth the lesson.
Matt Furey
Down to the Last Detail
“Whether we realize it or not, each of us carries about with us a mental blueprint or picture of ourselves. It may be vague and ill-defined to our conscious gaze. In fact, it may not be consciously recognizable at all. But it is there, complete down to the last detail.”
– Maxwell Maltz, M.D. – Psycho-Cybernetics, Updated and Expanded
What are Your Goals?
“The goals that our own Creative Mechanism seeks to achieve are mental images, or mental pictures, which we create by the use of imagination.”
Maxwell Maltz, M.D. – Psycho-Cybernetics, Updated and Expanded
So there you have it, my friend.
The goals that you achieve are not mere words or affirmations written on a sheet of paper.
The words you write (or speak), when turned into mental images or pictures, contain enormous power. These mental images generate positive feelings, and as a result, lead you toward what you want to accomplish.
If you’re rewriting or reciting affirmations to no avail, turn your words into images and observe the difference it makes.
A word without a mental image of what it represents is nothing but a collection of letters.
A word with an image attached to it is a catalyst that moves you closer to the target you want to reach.
Matt Furey
Psycho-Cybernetics.com
You’re Here to Make Some Noise
I don’t know about you, but I am not a big fan of “silent seated meditations.”
Why?
Because noisy meditation is faster. Much, much faster. And if you’re MOVING as you make noise, that’s even better.
You can literally go from frazzled feelings to a sense of transcendence, and do so within minutes, if not seconds, by making sensory specific noises as you move. Ah, such is the power of big bangs.
Silent meditation has its place – and it can be valuable once in a while – but if you have overlooked the seemingly mystical power of noise, you’re doing your mind a disservice.
Instinctively, we can see the benefits of listening to the sounds of ocean waves, or the birds singing, or the wind blowing. But we don’t usually make the connection when it comes to the value of making our own noise.
When you make noise, and do so deliberately, you will shock yourself into feeling better.
There are many ways to test this idea out for yourself.
Listed below are three of my favorite ways to practice noisy meditation:
1. Cracking a Bullwhip – My neighbors can count on the sound of my bullwhip cracking each morning to wake them up. Whipping your brain awake is so much better than an alarm clock.
To crack a whip, you remain calm and relaxed. You stay centered and focused. As the whip goes from coiled to straight, you apply a slight amount of tension, which causes it to pierce the sound barrier. You have to be mentally quick without hurrying in order to pull this off.
In order to get the desired sound, the whip must be traveling at 767 miles per hour – and any unnecessary extraneous effort to force the whip to crack will prove futile (similar to forcing positive affirmations upon yourself). This teaches you to get into a state of flow while effortlessly solving the ancient koan about the sound of “one hand clapping.”
2. Reciting Nonsensical Poetical Mantras – Unless you grew up learning Sanskrit, reciting mantras probably doesn’t make sense to you. On top of that, how do you know that the meaning of what you’re being told to chant is in fact what it means? If you don’t speak the language, you can’t verify. This is why I believe you’re better off making up your own mantras based on simple, dimple poetry. Pick a sound. Any sound will do. You can do this while sitting, walking, standing or lying. Once you have your first sound, come up with another one that rhymes with it. Then add a third, and a fourth, and a fifth. Keep going until you think you are completely out of matching sounds. But don’t be surprised if an avalanche of rhyming sounds comes rushing to your rescue.
Here’s an example: Dumb, rum, numb, bum, come.
Chant this out LOUD for a few minutes and you’ll be good for 24 hours.
3. Knocking on Wood – Most people only knock on wood in their imaginations. And they usually do it when they are bragging about how great their lives are. In the midst of bragging, said people get an internal fear response with the following type of self-talk: “Oh my God, I’m bragging again. I better knock on wood so that I don’t jinx myself.”
This must mean that, encoded deep within the recesses of your brain and nervous system, there’s a nonsensical notion that knocking on wood does a body good. Well, it turns out to be true, because as soon as you knock on real or imaginary wood, with your fingertips, knuckles or toes, your brain lights up and you feel good for no reason whatsoever. This means that drumming is good for body, mind and soul.
So grab something inanimate and pound on it. I guarantee that within a few minutes you’ll get the knocking and pounding out of your system. And you’ll feel awesome. If by chance you need more than a few minutes of this type of meditation, this may mean that you are destined to be a knock star.
Now, I realize that someone reading this message might think that what I’ve written here has nothing to do with Psycho-Cybernetics.
Anyone who thinks such a thing hasn’t read the book in a long, long time. It would be good to give yourself a right-brain refresher.
In fact, Psycho-Cybernetics, is a book that must be read over and over again.
With each reading, you go deeper into the truisms.
Here endeth the lesson.
Matt Furey
Reading is Steroids for the Brain
“The man who does not read has no advantage over the person who cannot read.” – Mark Twain
Even though audio and video recordings are incredibly valuable, and life-changing, they do not take the place of sitting in a chair, in a quiet room, with a book in your hand.
If you don’t believe me, all you need to do is test this out.
Begin your day with a book in your hands. Read something that makes you laugh, or think, or imagine different.
Avoid watching or listening to the news as your day begins. Stay away from email and social media for at least an hour.
You can listen to music if you want, provided there are no lyrics. Never listen to music produced by a rocker who is frequently depressed.
As you sit with a book in your hand, take a look at the clock. Plan on reading for 20-30 minutes, but before doing so, make a note as to how you feel.
READY? GO!
When you are finished, close your book and sit silently for a minute. Notice how different you feel. Notice how your brain is now alert, energized and ready for more.
Also take note of how you have an advantage, not just over those who cannot read, but over those who think that audio and video is better. Audio and video are important, and they are helpful. But when it comes to that “steroids for the brain” sensation you are looking for, books will always be numero uno.
Here endeth the lesson.
Matt Furey
