Four days ago, as Hurricane Irma blew her way through the state of Florida, I had a decision to make.
Do I show my faith and trust in God in the midst of potentiallycatastrophic conditions, or do I take my family, including my father, who is 94 years young, to a supposedly safer vista?
On Saturday morning I decided to travel to less volatile pasture, going to Niceville, of all places, in the Florida Panhandle.
While there I watched with amazement as the people we visited, turned the cacophony in the south into a celebration.
Friends and family sat outside, feasting and being merry. Not a worry or concern in the whirld (misspelled intentionally).
The gentleman who persuaded me to go north, to his abode, watched the news and made his predictions.
His forecasts proved nearly as accurate as the weather people.
What’s more, as he watched, he’d smile and proclaim,
“Irma is right over your house in Tampa right now. Your new santuary is being torn to shreds. Your house is getting blown apart.”
Recognizing a good sparring partner when I hear one, I rejoined with what would happen to his big screen idiot box, how it would be shattered and sliced into unrecognizable sheets of “nothing burgers.”
Instant rapport.
Well, Irma moved over my home and the only damage was in the backyard, wherein five of my bamboo trees were swayed to the ground.
They bent all the way over – and true to their nature, did not break.
While replanting them Tuesday morning, I remembered the line I read before going to China for the first time in 1993. ‘Twas a maxim on how to handle tough times:
“Be like bamboo. Bend with the wind to avoid the hurricane.”
When Irma was gone and I was told that all was safe and sound in my area, oddly enough, I felt a sense of regret.
We could’ve just stayed home. My friend in Niceville had no intention of leaving, even if Irma was on top of his home.
He epitomized the Hemingway code of “eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may die.”
He encouraged people to come hang out with him, when realistically, he didn’t know if his town was any safer than his own. I queried him about this, especially his intention to NOT leave no matter what, and his only retort was a smile as he proclaimed,
“The reason I wouldn’t leave is because I’m a bad ass.”
Ouch.
If only I could have made two simultaneous decisions and have both of them be correct.
My next door neighbor stayed put. Other friends and collegues did so as well.
My son and daughter wanted to stay, too.
And I made a choice to “duck and run.”
I really felt badly about this.
I felt my decision was cowardly. I felt that I failed to give my children an opportunity to face adversity and be courageous.
On one foot I felt grateful that our home was spared. I felt grateful all of us survived.
I expressed gratitude that everyone I knew who stayed behind remained safe and sound.
But damnit….??? On the other foot, a feeling of letdown.
This juxtaposition of emotions was disturbing.
Yesterday, in conversation with my friend, John, he related, “Don’t dwell on this idea for another moment. Your children have already seen you do at least 1,000 things that exemplify courage. Focus on the 1,000 things – not the one you wish you could do over. I’m sure your children aren’t bothered by the decision you made – why should you be?”
And there we have it, once again, the Psycho-Cybernetics way out of the maze of negative thoughts, feelings and emotions.
Focus on what you’ve done well. Focus on how you’ve been courageous, confident, focused, determined, disciplined and so on, in the past, and you’ll reinvigorate those same emotions in the now.
Until I did what I “already know” there wasn’t a single person who could sway my opinion about the choice I made to leave the area.
Not even my 94-years young father, who, believe me, was incredibly grateful I took care of him on the voyage, could convince me that I made the best decision.
Ultimately, as it is in all matters, we must convince ourselves.
When applying Theater of the Mind, when going back and reliving moments of courage, the feeling of let down evaporated – and I could get on with the living of business – or is it the business of living?
Naturally, as well as sarcastically, I’m thinking that no one reading this email has EVER experienced a strange emotion around an event or circumstance, including one that was supposedly dire.
But if you ever do, thank God you have a memory and the ability to recall the good, the powerful and the positive.
Being reminded of this factoid is important, regardless of who you are or what you’ve done.
Now, what will I do next time?
That’s a great question.
I believe I’ve learned a lot from observing the courage of others (which you may view as stupidity).
Sometimes the courageous thing may be leaving the danger zone – at other times it may be appropriate to stay.
Be flexible in your ideas, your approach and in how you picture yourself in your mind’s eye.
“Be like bamboo. Bend with the wind to avoid the hurricane.”
One thing I can say for sure, next time around, when the “Be Safe” mantra is being served en masse, I’m going to respond as follows…
“Be Courageous. Do What’s Best for You and Your Family.”
Matt Furey
