If you want to be successful in something, is it better to use a “small steps” approach or a “massive action” approach?

The answer: It depends.

It depends on who you are.

It depends on the approach that’s worked for you in the past, often without you being aware of it.

It depends upon which approach is sustainable.

It also depends upon how many small steps actually make up “massive action.”

Perhaps, in the end, they’re the same – or they end up in the same place, albeit with different lingo to get you started.

If a person is 100 pounds overweight and hasn’t exercised in years, I would suggest small steps lingo for getting fit.

If a person wants to become a novelist, small steps again.

But if there’s a catastrophe, which approach is better?

On the outside, massive action appears to be the order of the day. Yet, when you break “massive action” down, what will you see?

A thousand or more steps, each of which, when viewed as a whole, look HUGE.

When it comes to visualization, I do not advocate 30 or 60-minute sessions.

For someone starting out, 15 minutes is probably too long as well.

How about getting started with five minutes – or even a minute?

Coax yourself along. Don’t force yourself.

This may appear inadequate to affect change, but I have seen the small steps approach work over and over again, in virtually every field.

When I coach people I literally break things down to the simplest, easiest steps imaginable.

If any step appears difficult, too hard or scary, I strike it.

I realize this flies in the face of many, many maxims, such as “get out of your comfort zone,” – yet, I’ve found it to work wonders.

More on this in the future.

In the interim…

See it. Feel it. Do it.

Matt Furey

Yesterday I sent an email to my fitness list at MattFurey.com, extolling the positive benefits of walking and jumping rope.

I wrote about a client who has gone from 477 pounds to 300.

No small feat, even though he’s still on the journey.

Getting fit, losing weight and exercising are all just as much a mental game as a physical one.

There are incredible psychological and neurological benefits to both walking and jumping rope, including awareness training on practices such as focusing on your breathing or counting the number of steps or jumps you are on.

Counting is good for the brain – and last time I checked, taking a deep breath or two is life-affirming, too.

So is looking at both sides of an issue…

One reader of yesterday’s email wrote to tell me that I missed the mark, that in the case of rope skipping. no rope was required.

He explained to me that, based on Psycho-Cybernetics, you could practice all the jumps without a rope, and get just as much benefit. Moreover, you’d feel great because all your jumps would be perfect.

What this man wrote contains some truth.

There is great benefit in “shadow boxing.” Not only did Dr. Maltz reference this in Psycho-Cybernetics, but I did so as well in the Theater of the Mind program produced by Nightingale-Conant.

Yet, there are other essentials for the brain that you obtain from jumping rope that are going to be missing if you’re jumping without a rope.

First, without a rope your brain and nervous system doesn’t learn timing and rhythm. It’s not just jumping, it’s knowing when to jump and having your jump get in sync with your hands and the rope.

Second, without a rope you are not developing spatial intelligence. With a rope your brain must learn where the rope is in space and time. You must know when the rope is overhead and beneath your feet, in front of you and behind you, as well as where your hands, wrists and arms are.

Third, Psycho-Cybernetics does not advocate doing things perfectly or never being challenged to overcome misses, setbacks, errors or failures.

On the contrary, much of the book is about zig-zagging your way to success, to enhanced skills, to a better way of practice.

If your brain isn’t being challenged to learn something new, on a regular basis, or to correct mistakes, then you may feel great about feeling perfect, but you’re making a huge mistake.

Part of the glory of learning to jump rope or the attainment of skill in any other area, is going through the mistakes. It’s learning to overcome them – not to figure out ways to avoid looking bad.

Yes, shadow boxing and practicing without any pressure to “get it right” is powerful. But where there’s a yin, there’s a yang.

Both are key.

Practice without pressure.

Make mistakes – correct course.

See it. Feel it. Be it.

Matt Furey

Four days ago, as Hurricane Irma blew her way through the state of Florida, I had a decision to make.

Do I show my faith and trust in God in the midst of potentiallycatastrophic conditions, or do I take my family, including my father, who is 94 years young, to a supposedly safer vista?

On Saturday morning I decided to travel to less volatile pasture, going to Niceville, of all places, in the Florida Panhandle.

While there I watched with amazement as the people we visited, turned the cacophony in the south into a celebration.

Friends and family sat outside, feasting and being merry. Not a worry or concern in the whirld (misspelled intentionally).

The gentleman who persuaded me to go north, to his abode, watched the news and made his predictions.

His forecasts proved nearly as accurate as the weather people.

What’s more, as he watched, he’d smile and proclaim,

“Irma is right over your house in Tampa right now. Your new santuary is being torn to shreds. Your house is getting blown apart.”

Recognizing a good sparring partner when I hear one, I rejoined with what would happen to his big screen idiot box, how it would be shattered and sliced into unrecognizable sheets of “nothing burgers.”

Instant rapport.

Well, Irma moved over my home and the only damage was in the backyard, wherein five of my bamboo trees were swayed to the ground.

They bent all the way over – and true to their nature, did not break.

While replanting them Tuesday morning, I remembered the line I read before going to China for the first time in 1993. ‘Twas a maxim on how to handle tough times:

“Be like bamboo. Bend with the wind to avoid the hurricane.”

When Irma was gone and I was told that all was safe and sound in my area, oddly enough, I felt a sense of regret.

We could’ve just stayed home. My friend in Niceville had no intention of leaving, even if Irma was on top of his home.

He epitomized the Hemingway code of “eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may die.”

He encouraged people to come hang out with him, when realistically, he didn’t know if his town was any safer than his own. I queried him about this, especially his intention to NOT leave no matter what, and his only retort was a smile as he proclaimed,

“The reason I wouldn’t leave is because I’m a bad ass.”

Ouch.

If only I could have made two simultaneous decisions and have both of them be correct.

My next door neighbor stayed put. Other friends and collegues did so as well.

My son and daughter wanted to stay, too.

And I made a choice to “duck and run.”

I really felt badly about this.

I felt my decision was cowardly. I felt that I failed to give my children an opportunity to face adversity and be courageous.

On one foot I felt grateful that our home was spared. I felt grateful all of us survived.

I expressed gratitude that everyone I knew who stayed behind remained safe and sound.

But damnit….??? On the other foot, a feeling of letdown.

This juxtaposition of emotions was disturbing.

Yesterday, in conversation with my friend, John, he related, “Don’t dwell on this idea for another moment. Your children have already seen you do at least 1,000 things that exemplify courage. Focus on the 1,000 things – not the one you wish you could do over. I’m sure your children aren’t bothered by the decision you made – why should you be?”

And there we have it, once again, the Psycho-Cybernetics way out of the maze of negative thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Focus on what you’ve done well. Focus on how you’ve been courageous, confident, focused, determined, disciplined and so on, in the past, and you’ll reinvigorate those same emotions in the now.

Until I did what I “already know” there wasn’t a single person who could sway my opinion about the choice I made to leave the area.

Not even my 94-years young father, who, believe me, was incredibly grateful I took care of him on the voyage, could convince me that I made the best decision.

Ultimately, as it is in all matters, we must convince ourselves.

When applying Theater of the Mind, when going back and reliving moments of courage, the feeling of let down evaporated – and I could get on with the living of business – or is it the business of living?

Naturally, as well as sarcastically, I’m thinking that no one reading this email has EVER experienced a strange emotion around an event or circumstance, including one that was supposedly dire.

But if you ever do, thank God you have a memory and the ability to recall the good, the powerful and the positive.

Being reminded of this factoid is important, regardless of who you are or what you’ve done.

Now, what will I do next time?

That’s a great question.

I believe I’ve learned a lot from observing the courage of others (which you may view as stupidity).

Sometimes the courageous thing may be leaving the danger zone – at other times it may be appropriate to stay.

Be flexible in your ideas, your approach and in how you picture yourself in your mind’s eye.

“Be like bamboo. Bend with the wind to avoid the hurricane.”

One thing I can say for sure, next time around, when the “Be Safe” mantra is being served en masse, I’m going to respond as follows…

“Be Courageous. Do What’s Best for You and Your Family.”

Matt Furey