Over the past two days, while working with coaching clients, the tall-tales of the self-development industry came up over and over.

“But don’t you need to set goals that scare you?” one client asked.

“How’s that approach working out for you so far?” I replied.

“Uh, not so good.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“Setting goals that scare you” is one of the four pill-errors (not pillars) that the goo-roos teach. And it’s wronger than wrong. It may be the wrongest advice of them all.

If you set goals that scare you, you’ll never get off the ground. You’ll be stymied and stuck. You’ll be so frozen, a hot morning coffee won’t even wake you up.

Think of how ludicrous it is to teach people to set goals that invoke fear, when fear is the great paralyzer.

Instead of setting goals that scare you, consider setting goals that inspire you. Set goals that generate momentum and spontaneous action, goals that don’t cause you to resist yourself.

When you are doing well, you are no longer resisting yourself. You’re taking out the garbage on a daily basis. And with the garbage put away, you are free to accomplish more because you’re now in a natural state of flow.

Almost all goal setters remain nothing more than that: goal setters. Same as those who make a list of New Year’s Resolutions, none of which get accomplished.

The trick to goals is creating and following a system where you are winning the game of life all the time. You win so often that you make other people jealous, without trying to do so.

When you set goals that scare you, you’re beginning way behind the starting line.

When you set goals that rev up your engine and catapult you into action, you are free to swing for the fences. You are free to follow the advice of Dorothea Brande, who wrote, “act as if it were impossible to fail.”

You cannot act as if it is impossible to fail when you set big, hairy, audacious goals that scare you.

But you CAN when you set goals that create zero internal resistance within you.

Just as we resist others who bark orders at us and tell us what to do, we also resist the “self” that imposes goals and demands that are not in alignment with the natural flow of our own energy.

If you’ve been setting goals that scare you and you feel as though you’re getting nowhere, understand you’re a member of a big club. You’re not alone. You’re not the only one who believed the nonsense.

But there is a way out of the mess – and acquiring the attributes contained within Zero Resistance Living is one of the keys. Isn’t it odd that there’s nowhere in the course that tells you to set goals that scare you.

Matt Furey

Note: If you’re interested in my Mind Power Monthly coaching program, drop me a line and I’ll get back to you with the information.

Over the weekend, one of my clients sent me a text message wherein a business owner poo-poohed the well-established and proven power of visualization.

He wrote that the best form of visualization is to “do the hard work required to succeed.”

Oh Lordy, Lordy.

The whirld is filled with people who work hard; it is filled with people who bust their rumps out in the fields, upon rooftops, in laboratories, in businesses they created, only to become slaves to them.

In academia and in sports, you will find people who “work hard” and never make it. Not even close.

And then there are those of average talent who gain an uncanny edge over their competitors. These are the people who “work hard” – but are also intelligent enough to realize that learning HOW to visualize better than your opponent is a monumental skill set that helps you WIN a lot more often.

When someone claims he or she doesn’t visualize, that it’s “just hard work,” I am reminded of Mr. Thornton, an 11th grade teacher who used to exclaim, “You are only fooling yourself?”

Reality: You cannot work hard without seeing yourself doing so.

Similarly, you cannot be lazy without seeing yourself being lazy.

You cannot eat steak, or ice cream without picturing it first. Same goes for drinking a bottle of wine.

Note: Did you picture steak, ice cream or wine when reading the above?

Guess what? You visualized them in your mind’s eye as you read the words.

We do not walk without seeing other people doing so first.

The language(s) we speak aren’t pulled out of thin air. You see and hear others speaking a language, it goes into your brain, and you regurgitate it.

The word for water changes based upon the language – but the mental picture for water is somewhat universal. I can order it in many different languages. Regardless, once the word is heard from the order-taker, an image is formed and H20 is given to me. I then form a mental picture of paying for the water, and a transaction is completed.

Ever hear of mirror neurons?

Any skill you want to learn begins with seeing other people doing it first. This is called “mirror neuron theory.”

So how someone think that visualization is a waste of time; that success is nothing but hard work?

Yet, this very person sells the idea of goal setting and time management?

Write down your goals each day – and plan out your day in writing?

Tell me, how did you choose your goals? How did you plan out your day?

News flash: You saw mental images in your mind’s eye about what you wanted to accomplish. You imagined the various choices within your mind’s eye. And you settled on specific goals and actions that you wrote down to remind you of the mental pictures that are in your “mind’s eye.”

Think of this: Every time you review your goals or your time management system, you are reviewing mental images.

Visualization is done with your eyes open as well as closed. Some people do it better with their eyes open.

Visualization is also taking place as you move or work. Some people do it better as they move. Others while sitting still.

To say you don’t visualize or see yourself in your mind’s eye means you are either unaware of how often you do it, including NOW (nah, couldn’t be… me just work hard)  – or you cannot do it the way you heard you’re “supposed to” do it.

My process of teaching visualization is flexible because I have successfully used it in many, many ways.

When I practice tai chi boxing, for example, I am visualizing the entire time I am practicing. And yes, with my eyes open. I am seeing each and every move before I do it. I don’t just “work hard.”

I am also seeing an opponent in front of me. I counter his every move with a punch, kick, joint lock or throw.

To not see an opponent would mean I am not practicing tai chi boxing at a level that elevates my game.

Yes, I can also replay, relive and improve my skills by sitting in a chair and practicing ONLY in my imagination.

Does this mean I never physically practice? No it doesn’t.

If a person only imagines practicing, he or she will not become world class.

But someone who only physically practices, who does not take advantage of the benefits of mental imagery, is operating at a huge disadvantage.

It’s the combination that creates the mind power.

In the beginning, the novice thinks that physicality alone moves the body.

Once you gain some experience and ability, you realize that mind-intent moves your body.

Imagination mixed with intention is what moves you.

Same goes at the highest levels of business.

Or anything else.

Picture yourself doing the thing long enough, and you’ll do the thing.

Some people only need to picture something for a few seconds and they are off to the races. Others need a bit more time. Some people are a combination, depending upon the skill or object involved.

The above is a mere outline of the type of material I’ll be coaching you on in Mind Power Monthly – a group coaching I’m starting this month that teaches the key principles involved in visualization, mental imagery, goal setting and “hard work.”

Interested? Drop me a line and I’ll send you the information.

Matt Furey

P.S. Do you think I pictured myself writing any of what appears in this message? Or did I just “work hard?” Tis true. A writer cannot sit in a chair (or stand at a desk) and begin writing without picturing the internal SELF doing it before-hand.

The other day a client asked me what I think of positive affirmations.

I told him, ‘It depends.”

“Depends upon what?” he asked.

I replied: “It depends upon how they are written, how they are worded and how you are using them.”

He says, “Well, I have a few that I wrote in cursive and pasted to my bathroom mirror. I read them everyday and I think they help. What do you think of that?”

“The cursive part is great,” I remarked.

“But what about the affirmations themselves?” he asked.

“If you think they are helping, that’s great. But I can’t answer your question completely without knowing what they are. What words did you use and in what sequence?”

“What difference does that make?” he wondered.

“Difference it makes, what?” I answered.

“Huh?”

I explained to my client how almost all affirmations do not create the intended result. No matter how positive they appear to be, the results they generate are negative.

There are many reasons why this is so. Listed below you will see five of them:

1. The affirmations were typed out or printed out.

2. The affirmations begin with the words “I AM.” Almost all “I AM” affirmations are doomed to failure.

3. The affirmations state that you have already achieved a super specific result (which you haven’t). For example, saying you are healthy and wealthy when you are broke and sick.

4. The affirmation is not visualized.

5. The affirmation is not emotionalized.

Additionally, the affirmation was not tested to see how much it lights up your brain and nervous system. Nor was the affirmation compared to others to determine which one is catapulting you forward.

Believe me now and listen to me later, there’s a big difference between words that work and the ones that don’t.

And that, my friend, is part of what I’ll be teaching to members of my new Psycho-Cybernetics, Theatre of the Mind Coaching Program. In it you’ll learn the Secrets of Visualization and how to make it work for you. If you are a fan of affirmations, I’ll go over how to make them work for you at a quantum level. It’s not what is commonly taught by the “life coaches” or “success goo-roos.”

How can I make such a statement?

I can make such a statement because I’ve tested and proven the methods I use straight across the board: in sports, in business, in martial arts, in weight loss, in writing best-sellers, etc. I’ve entered the lion’s den and emerged victorious. I’ve entered the arena to battle an opponent who is also using mind power. I’ve done so before a LIVE audience with television cameras in my face – which definitely adds fuel to the fire.

Can you remain calm under pressure?

Can you rid yourself of internal angst, turmoil and self-doubt?

Can you focus on an objective and win?

I believe you CAN – but you have to learn how to teach yourself. Believe me, being able to teach and coach YOURSELF is the ultimate feeling in the world.

And that’s what I’m going to do in this coaching program. I’m going to train you to be your own coach.

Interested?

Drop me a line. Tell me about yourself and why you want this type of coaching.

If you’re a fit, I’ll send you the details.

See it. Feel it. BE it.

Matt Furey