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December 10th, 2008

Governor Bleeping NimRod

Yesterday, after putting up my psychic shield, I turned on the news. Within seconds I broke into uncontrollable laughter.

What the bleep did he say.

Bleep. Bleep. Bleepty-bleep.

This was the very first time I have watched the schnews and heard them read a transcript with the word ‘bleep.’

In the olden days the code words were “expletive deleted.”

My, how far we’ve progressed since hearing the words “penis, peccadillo and salacious” on the news.

The day before last I was catching up on talk radio – listening to callers argue about whether or not Prez Elect Obama should be allowed to smoke in the oval office.

Yep, you heard that right. Obama is a smoker. Something most of us did NOT know prior to the election.

My mind raced back through history. In the last 50 years, what Prez other than Obama was a smoker.

Kennedy – nope

Johnson – not sure

Nixon – yepper

Ford – nope

Carter – nope

Reagan – nope

Bush I – nope

Clinton – yes, but they were cigars and had multiple functions. Cigars are also status symbols of the wealthy – so he is forgiven.

Bush II – probably should have. Couldn’t have hurt him anymore than saying ‘Mission Accomplished.’

Right now I’m hearing chatter about a $15 billion doll-hair bailout of the Big 3 in the auto industry. And they’ll put a politician (not a businessman) in charge to make sure they succeed.

What the bleep.

A listener on a radio show was asked how the U.S. Gov is going to come up with $15 billion. The wise answer: “They’ll just print more money.”

My mind flashed back to… Saturday Night Live.

The 1970′s edition.

They were mocking Prez Carter. He was saying not to worry about money because “We’ll just print more.”

Happy (Inflation) days are here again.

Mind flashed to another memory – “Buy Gold.”

Tis the only real money, I’m told. And when the Gov is printing money to create more of it – seems like a good idea. So long as you don’t buy U.S. Gov’t gold – which they may confiscate from you – if they so choose – even though you bought it and supposedly own it – 1933.

Then I hear two commie words: “Car Czar.”

No one seems alarmed at the use of these words.

When I got back from China, one of the first things I read was, “The People’s Inaugaration” in reference to the knighting of Prez. Elect Obama.

Another chance to laugh as I thought about other uses for “The People’s…”

The above may make you wonder whether I am optimistic or negative about the future of O’merica.

Answer: Very optimistic.

The future of this country has never been brighter. You simply have to see through the bleakness to get there.

There are more things to laugh about today than ever before. And if you have an eye for the dramatic or the comedic – there’s a fortune to be made.

More than anything else – what we need more of in this country are comedians.

People who can make us laugh at the ludicrous being passed off as ‘serious.’

Whenever you are presented with news that is disturbing, ask yourself, “What’s good about this.”

Asking this question is a magical key that will help you find something to be thankful for – something to rally around.

Anyone can sit around and brood and complain. It takes mind power to find a way to win – to succeed – no matter what.

More millionaires were created in the GD – Great Depression, than any time in history. I’m optimistic this will repeat itself.

Make sure you read MAD Magazine over the next few years.

They do a great job poking fun of the obvious – no matter what party he belongs to – and they’ve been running a great business year after year since they began.

I may follow suit.

After all, I hear the heavens calling for more Charlie Chaplins. We need them right now – more than ever.

But what the bleep do I know.

Matt Furey

P.S. Hey, want to know how to write bleeping emails, stream-of-consciousness, and have them make you a bleeping fortune. I bleeping thought so. Well, no one can do a better bleeping job than me.

I’m the bleeping Emperor of Emails. And if you follow my lead – you’ll be hanging out in my court – sporting a bleeping treasure chest of goods that the dull, boring nimrods of the world can’t even imagine yet. So bleeping run on over and order The Furey Method for Making a Fortune With Email.

P.P.S. BTW, if you don’t bleeping see anything funny in this email, then you need a deep breath – several actually, followed by a change in mental pictures, followed by an abrupt change in how things flow your way. Order my best-seller, 101 Ways to Magnetize Money and discover that in good times and bad, fortunes will be made. Will you choose to be on the winning or losing side of the fence.

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