One of our national champions was before his open locker, slipping into his shoes. The night before he suffered a loss – and the look on his face told everyone present that all was NOT well in his whirld.
Someone, I’m not sure whom, took the liberty of lending a helping hand by creating a sign and hanging it on his locker.
It read, “Don’t Get Mad – Get Even!”
What a great message, I thought. Don’t focus on your loss because you cannot go back in time and redo it. But you CAN start preparing for your next ‘go round.’
Earlier today I was working with Fred. I was having him jump rope, for speed and for time as part of a health and fitness regimen I have him on.
For 30 seconds, Fred would see how many jumps he could do. A few weeks ago, he couldn’t jump rope at all. He’s improved a lot – but still has a long way to go.
In the very first 30-second burst, Fred missed after 28 consecutive successful jumps.
“Damnit,” he frowned, then grabbed the handles of the rope tighter, mustering more of his will than before.
He missed again in two jumps. And again on the next jump. And again after a few more jumps.
28 jumps without a miss. Then four misses in a much shorter period of time.
“Time,” I called at the end of 30 seconds.
He began to catch his breath, giving me an opportunity to teach him something no one else will probably ever tell him.
“When you got angry after the first miss, did you do anything physical to show it?”
“Uh, yeah, I think so.”
“Okay, what did you do? Did you increase your level of physical tension, or reduce it?”
“Good question,” he said. “I think I definitely increased it.”
“And how did that work for you?” I asked.
“Not to well.”
“Okay, let’s take a closer look at this situation. When you missed, was it because of a mental breakdown or due to something physical?”
“I”m not really sure.”
“I understand. Let me ask it this way then: Do you know how to jump rope physically?”
“Much better than a month ago when you couldn’t do it at all, right?”
“Okay great. So just before you missed, were you thinking about how many you could do before you missed?”
“Ugh,” Fred grunted.
“Very good. So let’s look at this from a different view. You pictured something you didn’t want and it happened. Then you got angry and showed it physically, right? But the breakdown wasn’t physical. The breakdown was mental. So how much sense does it make to get angry and do something physical when it’s your mind that is to blame?”
“Next time, stay focused on jumping successfully as many times in a row as you can. Be aware of your hands and your feet and your breathing – that’s it. Nothing more.”
Without making a single physical change, Fred doubled the number of consecutive jumps he could do in 30 seconds.
It’s a proven fact that we don’t learn faster or better when we’re angry, stressed, fearful, worried or under heavy pressure.
Yet, at the same time, we want to improve, do better, achieve our goals and then some. So how do you so without making yourself worse with negative tension?
The first part is staying relaxed. The second is free and easy breathing.
And the third is learning how to direct your mind with the creative power of mental pictures, so that you go toward what you want instead of moving further away.
When you get MAD – you’re almost always going down the wrong road – unless you’re able to intercept the anger and use it as fuel toward what you want.
The idea of “getting even” refocuses the anger toward a worthy goal. But getting mad alone doesn’t.
When you refocus the anger toward a goal, the anger changes into desire. You’re no longer angry. You’re relaxed and focused on what you want.
Going a step further, if you give yourself credit for your successful jumps, for the circumstances and events that have gone right in your life – that’s when you’re not just focused on a goal – you’re focused with peace of mind. Instead of expecting or thinking that the attainment of the goal is going to make you happy – you already ARE – and you carry that feeling with you on the journey to the goal.
Consider this: You can focus on a goal with anger, zeal, desire, passion, etc. – and do so with an expectation of your achievement somehow making you happy.
Or you can learn how to use your positive memories from the past and bring them with you into the future, so you achieve your goal with happiness and peace of mind already within you.
The truth is there is no singular achievement that will make you happy forever. Most achieved goals won’t even make you feel good for more than a day or two.
This means that the wiser approach is to bring happiness and peace of mind on the journey with you – and increase them even more as you accomplish your objective.
Yes, it’s a great way to live.
And you can discover how to do this in such a way that you can teach yourself how to perform at your best, over and over again.
My program on Theatre of the Mind will give you the tools to teach yourself what you need to do to repeatedly succeed, over and over again, in whatever you want to excel in.
Whether it’s doubling the amount of successful jumps you can do in a row, doubling your income or doubling the amount of weight you need to lose or the friends you want to have – Theatre of the Mind will lead you to it.
And right now you can get Theatre of the Mind for $40 off the original amount.
Jump on this NOW my friend and become your own best teacher.
P.S. The other day someone wrote and told me that I had a misspelled word in my email. I replied, “Good catch. Just one, right? Now can you tell me howmany words I spelled correctly? That’s the number I’d like to focus on.”