Rise Above Pain, Frustration and Failure with the Magic Power of Psycho-Cybernetics and
Theatre of the Mind
Self-Image Exercises Tap the Unlimited Resources of Your Subconscious Mind
Welcome to the Official Site of Psycho-Cybernetics and Theatre of the Mind. This is where we do as the good doctor, Maxwell Maltz, did for so many years. We heal internal scars. We give you an emotional face lift. We transform the agonizing pain of defeat, failure, frustration and loneliness into courage, confidence, love, gratitude and peace of mind. We help you reach your goals by showing you how to remove the obstacles that you think are standing in your way.
As a reconstructive plastic surgeon, Dr. Maltz realized that although “plastic surgery” benefited 0.5% of the population, the other 99.5% had unresolved emotional scars from the past, and that these could be removed by changing your self-image. Once these internal scars were irradiated, what followed was a life of success and happiness with you reaching “the greatest port in the world: peace of mind.”
On this blog, I will be giving you Psycho-Cybernetics success tips for transforming your self-image, as well as making recommendations on books, courses and seminars that will take you to the next level. Make sure you subscribe to our email list as well because we have special offers that you’ll want to see.
Matt Furey, President, Psycho-Cybernetics Foundation, Inc.
August 10th, 2014
Do I EVER have a story for you. This one is called … “Laundry in the Ghetto.”
Before I get to it, a little update. You haven’t heard from me in awhile, and that’s because I spent almost the entire summer with my son, training him and then traveling from one baseball tournament to another.We were in Ft. Myers, FL, Omaha, NE, San Diego, CA, Atlanta, GA, Orlando, FL – and then the grand finale, Nassau, Bahamas – wherein we played a couple of our games inside the grounds of a prison, TRUE – playing the Bahamian National Team.It’s been a great summer, and now I’m finally at home, sleeping in my own bed, working out in my own quarters, and getting back to this thing called “work.’
I feel a bit like a school teacher – taking a couple months off – but the fruit that is to come from doing so is going to be sweet indeed.
Anyway, on to today’s feature story….
Laundry in the Ghetto
This past Wednesday, as five days of laundry began to ripen – I asked a lady at the Information desk in the Coral Towers Hotel in Nassau, Bahamas, where I could find a drop-off “fluff and fold” laundromat.
She told me where to go, but frankly, with my heavy accent, I couldn’t make out what she was saying. I asked her if she’d write the address for me on a slip of paper. She obliged and told me to hand the address to the taxi.
“WULFF ROAD” was the address – and this alone should have probably given me a clue, even if it wasn’t misspelled.
El taxi told me it was a LONG WAY to this particular laundramat. This was “Code” for telling me he was going to charge me an outrageous $25.00 fee for a rather short ride.
This particular taxi driver, like almost all the taxi drivers here in the Bahamas had the Holy Bible close at hand. In the male-operated taxi’s, It’s either next to their seat or on the dash, and I beileve it gives the impression… or the illusion of honesty.
Before dropping me off, Mr. Taxi went to great lengths to tell me how he grew up in “the projects” – and how there are laundramats there as well, and cheaper – but in his opinion, not safe.
My goodness, he was really looking out for me.
A few blocks from my desitnation the driver further verified that I was in a safe area BECAUSE the police station would be directly across from me.
Super. Thank you so very, very much.
I negotiated the laundry fee for wash, dry and fold. Twas twenty bucks. A fair deal in my opinion.
Per the driver’s recommendation I glided next door to nab some grub at a take-out joint called the Bamboo Shack.
As I ordered my food and waited, more and more people showed up.
I was the only white boy in the area – and everyone was friendly – or at the very worst, neutral.
Even so, I opened the eyes on the back of my head, focused on my breathing and relaxed any tension I felt into calmness.
Ah. No worries.
After getting my food I walked back toward the laundry, passed it by and sat before an abandoned unit right next door. This placed me directly – mean eyeball-to-eyeball, across from the police station.
Not a worry in the whirld as fellow Bahamians pulled up and walked in front as well as behind me.
After beginning my meal two cops meandered over and began an interrogation.
“Hello sir, where you from?” asked the Sgt.
“I’m from Florida.”
“Okay, Why are you here?”
“I’m doing my laundry next door.”
“Why are you in town?”
“My son is playing baseball in a tournament over here.”
“Where you staying?”
“How much longer you gonna be here?”
“The lady doing my laundry said it would take an hour and ten minutes.”
I answered so politely that they nodded at me, turned and walked away.
A few minutes later the two cops returned, asking me to come across the street for protection.
“But I was told this area is safe,” I said.
With bugged-out eyes the Sgt laughs and says, “SAFE? Who the hell told you that? There are crimes here all the time. This is the ghetto, man. And you’re a fish outta water. It only takes about 30-40 seconds to commit a crime and run – and in the Bahamas track is our best sport.”
This was stunning information – but not enough to rattle my calm state. Although I waswatching my breath, feeling fearless and thinking good thoughts, I thought it might be a good idea to do as advised anyway, so I willingly walked across the street to the police station.
“You’re welcome to sit inside or out,” said the Sgt.
Something about going inside didn’t feel right, so I plopped my rumpus on a light blue concrete bench to the right of the doors.
The Sgt. stood facing traffic as we talked. Over the course of the next 90 minutes there were no colors or races. He was there to protect and serve. ME.
And while doing so he gave me the scoop on Bahamian culture, history, etc.
“Why did the taxi bring you here?” he asked. “He oughta know better.”
“I gave him a slip of paper with the address that was given to me by a lady at Coral Towers.”
“What was she thinking? Man, this is nuts. Why didn’t the taxi take you to Bayshore? There’s places to do laundry there that are totally safe.”
“Don’t know,” I said.
“You know what we call white people over here?” the Sgt. asks.
“We call you Conchy Joe’s – after the white-shelled conch we eat over here.”
“So, if you don’t mind my asking, what do you do for a living?”
“I write books, programs and create DVDs on fitness, martial arts and such,” i said.
“Any best-sellers?” he asked.
“By the looks of your ears, you’ve seen some big competition.”
“I won a world title in China,” I said.
“”Oh really?” he said, then paused, took a deep breath and said, “So, maybe you could protect US more than we can protect YOU?”
“You just never know,” I replied. “Anything can happen. It all depends.”
We spoke about much more and when my clothes were finished the police sergeant drove me back to my hotel.
As I opened the door I debated what to do. To tip or not to tip, that was the question.
This was the ONE TIME in Nassau wherein someone did something to help me and I wasn’t being billed a thing. Everywhere you go, gratuities are NOT a choice. They’re mandatory.
Wherever you go to eat, 15% is already added to your bill. And adding insult to sleep time, I stayed in a Hilton for two nights – and was billed $10.00 per night, auto-gratuity… for the MAID. I wonder if she ever sees a nickle of that gratutiy. I’m leaning toward a “no” on that one.
“I’d like to send you a ‘thank you’ gift,” I said to the officer. May I have the correct spelling of your name and address?”
After typing “Sgt. Stephan Moultrie” into my smart-device, the question still nagged me.
“I’m very grateful for your help,” I said. “What do I owe you?”
“You owe me nothing, man,” he said.
Peeling back a couple bills from my wad, I handed him a generous tip.
“This is for you, my friend. I’ll never forget you. Expect a package from me, and be sure to thank your boss for me.”
“He’s the one who told me to look out for you. The last thing we need here is an attack on a foreign tourist. Not good for business, ya know.”
“I can imagine,” I said. “If something happened to me, there might be a few people upset.”
He smiled. “Take care, my friend. And if you ever want to come visit me, you know my name and where I work. I’m there from 6 PM to 2 AM every day.”
“Thanks again,” I said, waving goodbye.
Even though there are plenty of “shoulds” in this story, I’m truly grateful for the ENTIRE experience. Learned a lot.
Personally, I thought I’d be safe sitting by myself, waiting outside for my laundry. But the heavens must have disagreed – so Sgt. Moultrie was sent my way.
There are many “take-aways” in this story as well. The one that strikes me most profoundly is the imporance of being “cool, calm and collected” – even if you’re in a dangerous place.
This sense of calmness is what I’ve learned by studying Zero Resistance Living and Theatre of the Mind. Calmness makes everything in life turn out better than it would have. Tension is the enemy. Rid it from your mind and body on a daily
If you can use some of this calmness in your life – I suggest you get these stellar programs NOW.
June 16th, 2014
It’s not every year I get excited watching the NBA Championships but this year and last definitely got my attention
Even though basketball is not my sport and I cannot tell you a whole lot about the in’s and out’s of the game, I can accurately comment on what is inherent in ALL sports, all endeavors, all contests. I can quickly and readily see who has more guts, more desire, more “want to win.”
This year, unlike last season, there was no seven-game series. There were only five games; only four of them were “contests.” There was only ONE close game. And there was only ONE team who wanted to win so badly you could see sparks flying off them.
When I watched the Heat get blown out in Miami, not once, but two-straight times, my son and I commented on how defeated and dejected they looked. This was not the same team we saw a year earlier. And the San Antonio Spurs were not the same team either.
In all my years of watching basketball, it would be hard to find a better example of three important winning factors:
1. Hunger – to say the Spurs wanted to win more than the Heat would be an understatement. LeBron James said, “It’s just basketball,” on Saturday – and that pretty much summed up how the Heat played.
To the Spurs, it wasn’t just a game. It wasn’t just basketball. It was an opportunity that must be seized NOW. It was a salve that would remove or heal the wound they felt deep inside their guts after losing to the Heat a year ago.
In post game interveiws, Tim Duncan said that he never forgot the pain from last year”s loss – and used it as motivation to win it all this year.
I never thought I’d see the day when LeBron James lacked an abundance of desire – but it was evident in this series. In almost all contests, LeBron had sufficient desire. And normally what he brought to the table in this championship series would be more than adequate.
It’s just that the Spurs had an “off-the-charts” level of desire. They went to the quantum level of desire – and the Heat were woefully unprepared to match them. And how could they? It’s not very often we witness what we saw in this series. It was hunger, it was desire, nonpareil.
2. Teamwork – in most team sports, you have leaders, you have stars whom the others follow. The star is the one who wants the ball when it comes down to crunch time. He’s the one who loves being put in the “do-or-die” spotlight.
The Spurs have their stars – but the entire team played the game at such at high level of intensity, passing the ball like I’ve never seen – with speed and precision – until they found an great shot. And it didn’t matter WHO had the great shot. Any player on the court would do. As my friend, Nick Nurse, assistant coach with the Toronto Raptors, said, “They passed up good shots to take great shots.”
3. Humility – now this is where I must doff my hat, shoes and entire wardrobe to the Spurs. This is where every young athlete in the whirld could take note and gain something of immense value.
Look for a shred of humility with the Heat. I dare you. You’ll be looking a long, long time. It’s not that they have no humility. They do. But it’s hard to see it – EVER. Once the series was over, we saw it. Once they knew there was nothing they could do to stop the Spurs – we saw it.
But not before.
Contrast this with the likes of the Spurs. It starts with Tim Duncan and trickles down to every player. Find a photo of Mr. Dunan – look at him up close. What you’re looking at is a man who needs no “rah-rah” chatter or praise. He needs no strokes. He’s in this game because he loves it.
Regardless of how many points he scores or doesn’t score, his eyes and facial expression are virtually the same. Yes, when he loses he feels pain – and shows it. That’s part of humility as well. No pretense. No arrogance.
Duncan is there to do a job – but at the end of the day, despite the wealth, the fame and the trophies, most importantly, he’s a professional human
He could care less about endorsement deals. He doesn’t need to be the face of a franchise. None of that matters to him.
Back in 1980, when Olympic Speed-Skater Eric Heiden won five gold medals, he could have ridden his fame into the sunset with endorsements. I read an aricle about him that used a headline I remember as follows:
“HEIDEN; WON’T BE JENNERIZED, SPITZIFIED”
And Heiden held true to his word.
is there anything wrong, in my book, to taking endorsement deals?
It’s just that you have to stand back in awe when you meet someone who could care less about any of “that stuff.”
Even though he now has five (5) NBA Championships to his credit, Tim Duncan will probably not enter this discussion on mainstream sports media of being “the greatest ever.”
And I don’t think he cares.
LeBron was right when he said, “It’s just basketball.” He truly was.
On the other hand, to Duncan, he played as if “IT IS and IT ISN’T – just basketball.”
It is and it isn’t.
When you’re on the court – It’s ONLY BASKETBALL. Nothing else in the world exists – or matters. So it IS and it ISN’T at the same time.
It’s isn’t just a game. It’s an opportunity. It’s a moment in time that almost no one on this planet will ever experience. It’s a way to show yourself and prove to yourself that you CAN rise above yourself – you can even rise above the HEAT – and finish in grand glory.
In the Zone. That’s what Duncan and the Spurs were in. The Zone.
You don’t get there by thinking, “It’s just basketball.”
You get there when you think, “This is DESTINY.”
Congrats Spurs. Condolences Heat.
Thanks to both of you for another great series.
author of Theatre of the Mind
June 13th, 2014
Just received an email from a guy raving about the Tao of Email Copywriting. Here’s what he wrote:
Of all the tens of thousdands of dollars I’ve spent, all the hundreds of hours invested, all the books, tapes, cd’s dvd’s and practical experience I’ve gleened over 20 years of sales and marketing experience….
the Tao of Email Copywriting is by far the best. What amazed me is how easily you communicated HOW to write without effort – and how you got everyone to believe you – and then DO IT.
And then, the kicker. Just by listening to your program while driving, my writing ability soared.
Other than the Tao program, I’ve never been exposed to a training that improved my writing so quickly…
It’s like all the other copywriting programs promise, only you deliver.
I’m not sure how you have this kind of effect on people, including me. I guess that’s why we call you the “Zen Master.”
Your program is more like a download than a “training.”
Thank you, thank you, and thank you a third time.
Oh, and I guess I should include a “by the way.” I’ve made much more than hundreds of thousands of dollars using your method – I’ll just keep it at that.
M.F.: Thank you, Everte. It’s an awesome wonder to experience, isn’t it? You’re 100% right on. Listen to what to do and how to do it while driving. Absorb the message and let your sub-conscious take over when you’re before a keyboard or yellow pad. That’s how it worketh.
June 12th, 2014
Earlier today I was training with two fellow martial artists – both of whom are incredibly good at what they do. I’m practically new to their style, so the learning curve is large indeed.
Toward the end of the class I was given an exercise that I have never felt comfortable doing. Hint: That may mean it’s good for me.
At the same time, I am usually given minimal instruction when we do this exercise – then it’s “Ready, go.”
The two I was training with have been doing this particular drill for years – yet, it’s new to me. As of this moment, I get beat at it every single time.
And it feels downright embarrassing.
After the class I thought about the situation. I keep getting beat at this drill for three reasons;
1. Lack of knowledge – I don’t know what the others know – and they’re not exactly helping to fill in the gaps.
2. Lack of experience – I have only done this drill a few times in my life – the others have done it thousands of times.
3. No strategy – Because this drill is new to me, I lack knowledge on how to do it as well as the experience gained from having done it countless times. Without knowledge and experience, it’s hard to conceive of a battle plan, a simple strategy allowing me to play the game more effectively.
When I got home I sat on the couch.
But not to vegetate – to ruminate.
I began to think in earnest about how I keep getting beat and how much I hate it. And as I thought about it I came up with a few options:
A. Quit - this is the easy thing to do. It’ll help me avoid feelings of letdown and embarrassment – but those feelings will aire their uglness again as soon as I begin to try something else new – and it proves difficult, too.
B. Avoid – keep training but avoid this weakness. Do only the things I’m good at or feel comfortable doing. This will help me avoid feeling bad.
C. Become Fascinated – Instead of being embarrassed, start asking questions. Make no time to concentrate or think about my emotional state. Put my intention on a goal that’s worthy of achieving. Don’t let lack of direction or instruction stop me. Sit and ponder on my own and ask everyone I know who “owns” this skill for help. Put ego out of the way and make this drill a highly refined championship level skill.
In case you’re wondering, I’ll be choosing “Option C.”
Now, in case you’re wondering if I’ve ever gone through the “let down” phase before, I assure you it’s come and gone many, many times.
It’s part of learning – at least for me.
Sure, there are those “positive thinkers” who claim they have no ego, that they never feel embarrassed, etc.
All I can say is this: If you’ve ever achieved anything great, you got embarrassed along the way – and this lit a spark that helped lead you to greatness.
I don’t know a single “success” who never felt humiliated or embarrassed or horrified. Not one.
As Coach Dan Gable used to say, “The only place you start at the top is digging a hole.”
The same holds true for writing, running or river rafting. You get good by doing – AND by thinking about doing BETTER.
You picture better days. You practice so you can have better days – and eventually they will come your way.
P.S. In The Tao of Email Copywriting – I do something most marketers never do. I willingly and openly teach you what I know, I tell you of my
experiences – AND I give you several strategies you can begin using NOW to improve the sales of ANYTHING you are offering. Whether it’s a book, a line of supplements, clothing or exercise equipment – email is still the very best way to put your message out there and create the life you want. Grab your future NOW.
June 11th, 2014
Back in 1995, when I first learned how to “finally” write a book and get it published, I was shocked to hear the following two statements being made:
1. Writing a book is the easy part.
2. 95% of creating a best-seller is the marketing – not the actual writing of the book.
Hmmm, I thought. I got it all backwards. I figured that writing a book was 95% of the process in creating a best-seller. Now I’m learning that I’ve got the numbers flip-flopped. Writing the book is only 5% of the process.
In virtually everything I’ve ever been involved in, creating a winner, becoming a champion, getting good at something, etc. – in the beginning, I always had the percentages wrong.
The 95% was 5% and the 5% was 95%.
When it comes to creating a book/DVD or course of some kind, I can assure you that my earliest mentors were correct.
Writing a book is the easy part.
Now, this may derail some. Those who think that writing a book is hard, hard work don’t know the shortcuts or the secrets to doing it – and/or they have no gauge to compare their efforts to because they don’t engage in marketing of any sort.
Writing a book can be done in a weekend – or in a day. I wrote Combat Conditioning in a week. I wrote 101 Ways to Magnetize Money in Any Economy in a single day.
I wrote Expect to Win – Hate to Lose over a period of several years. That may sound like drudgery, but it was truly quite simple. I wrote one column per month for a martial arts magazine. The column took me about an hour to write. After six years, I compiled the columns into a book – then edited them.
Voila. Instant book – six years in the making – one hour at a time – once a month.
As for DVDs, I’ve shot most of them in an hour or two. I trained myself to be a “one-take” guy. I know what I’m going to say – in a general sort of way – and then I say it.
Now someone else can edit the DVD for me.
Okay, so how then do I market what I’ve created?
There are many ways – but the KING of all methods is still what I championed years ago: e-mail.
There are right ways and wrong ways to write emails to promote your product or service.
Most people follow the wrong way. They send boring, dull, image-driven drivel that quickly goes into the trash.
Then there are the great emails you read – the ones that have a connection of some sort to “yours truly.”
These are the emails that are personal.
They give you a glimpse of what life is like inside the walls of the writer’s office or abode.
Emails that follow the Furey Method are “simply irresistible.” Once you start reading you can’t stop.
And do you know what? Writing a simple email like the one you’re reading right now – looks incredibly easy.
And it is – ONCE you learn the thinking and the creative tension and structure that goes into each one.
Entrepreneurs and best-selling authors from all over the whirld own a copy of The Tao of Email Copywriting that Sells. They listen to it again and again – and then they get busy writing emails to their list.
When they do this, the 95% starts to shrink. It begins to feel more like 5%. Ah, such a simple thing. All I gotta do is get on it and stay on it – day in and day out.
What’s really cool is that the emails you write – overtime, become a collection that can become yet another book.
Huh? You kidding me? Nope. I know several best-selling authors who wrote their emails first. They had no book to begin with.
From their emails/blogs, they developed a following – and after writing a considerable number of pieces that “popped” – the emails were assembled into a book that sells.
So you don’t need a book to start writing emails – and you definitely need to start writing emails if you already have a book.
And there’s no finer way to learn how than T he Tao of Email Copywriting that Sells.
I have a friend who sends his daily emails to a list of just over 1,000 people. Not only do these people buy his books but they’re beating down his doors to train with him.
Several of my friends and clients are doctors. They’ve used emails to sell books, supplements, coaching programs and seminars before thousands of raving fans.
What a way to live.
Get up. Breathe. Write an email. Reap rewards that go beyond space and time.
If you don’t already own a copy of The Tao of Email Copywriting that Sells, then I strongly suggest you claim your copy today. It may change the way you think, write and LIVE – forever.
P.S. I should point out that this isn’t a program for M.D.s or PhD’s. Goodness gracious no. Many of my top followers, friends and clients didn’t even
go to college – and they’re raking in the mongubwas (a term I just coined – literally, right now).
Think of it:
All of our lives we’ve heard this crap that “you gotta go to college to get a good job.”
The way I see it, you have options: You can by-pass the $100,000 student loan program as well as the partial or full scholarships. You can bypass the years of drinking and drugging and “horsing” around.
You can go straight to the essence of what makes people and societies move – WORDS and the energy they contain.
Discover how to use WORDS as well as the energy behind them in The Tao of Email Copywriting that Sells.
Get yours NOW.
June 10th, 2014
When it comes to the subject of mind-power, creating what you want, achieving your goals, being successful and so on – there’s one key factor that makes everything work.
Without this factor, regardless of what you do, you’ll get negligible results. You’ll flounder. You’ll always come up short.
This most important factor isn’t goals. It isn’t writing down your goals. Despite the Harvard study of the 3% – a lot of people set goals – write them down – and don’t achieve them. And so, regardless of what you’ve heard, putting your goals in writing doesn’t guarantee anything. It doesn’t even put you into the class of 3%.
How do I know?
I know because I’ve seen a lot of people achieve spectacular goals without writing them down.
I’ve seen people become medical doctors without written goals. I’ve seen athletes win awards without writing their goals. I’ve seen entrepreneurs make enormous sums of moohlah without written goals. And if you really want to get right down to it – I think most couples who have children, did
not put a goal in writing that said: “I am having a baby.”
Okay, does this mean I am against written goals?
Not at all.
I believe written goals help – but ONLY if you understand and utilize the MOST IMPORTANT MIND-POWER FACTOR.
And once you do, you’ll become the type of person who can and will succeed whether or not you put your goals in writing.
How’s that sound? How’s that grab you?
Well then, I suggest you grab yourself a copy of Theatre of the Mind – so you can discover exactly what makes YOU get what you want, over and over again.
You might think it’s positive thinking. It’s not.
You might think it’s visualizing. It’s not.
You might think it’s following a special diet. It’s not.
Last week, Charlie, a man who’s purchased virtually every self-development program on earth – and who is, by almost all standards, very successful, wrote to tell me the following:
“I have bought 100’s of Nightingale Conant programs, every thing Wayne Dyer has ever done, and all the others you mention from time to time. this is not a surprise to you. I credit a good part of my success to the hours listening to them in the car, while working at the house or the office on the weekends etc.
I have also probably spent many tens of thousands of $$ over my career buying other people tapes, books and stuff that would solve the exact issues that they describe to me. I am sometimes in a position to know exactly what they need to do. Trouble is they don’t read them or their mind is closed. (my ex-wife was a perfect example)
“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink!”
Your TOTM is the best of them all, my question is, How do I give that program to someone (my boys especially) in such a way that they are motivated to at least listen to it once – and keep it as a resource?
I pose this to you because, it’s good for your business, and for me and a lot of other people who share the enthusiasm and experience, and want to share.
Been meaning to ask you for some time!”
My answer: Charlie, the answer you’re searching for is contained in the very email you just sent me. Tell your sons what you just told me – and leave it at that. Glad you like the TOTM program so much. Can’t wait to hear how much they’re liking it – and how much it’s helping them. Thank you for spreading the word.
Well, my friend, that’s all for now.
June 5th, 2014
Three days ago I was talking to a group of young ball players, telling them about the time, some 10 years ago, when I was flying to Las Vegas.
Across from me sat a legend.
I knew he was such for two reasons. The first was the World Series champion ring he wore – the other was his incredibly calm demeanor. When you meet someone who is as calm as this man was, you KNOW they’ve seen a lot of battles – and they’ve seen the light at the end of them.
During the entire flight, for some odd reason, I couldn’t place this man’s name. I knew he was a Big League manager – but what was his name?
Yes, I could have leaned over and asked, “Hey, you look familiar. Did you manage an MLB team or something?”
But that would be embarrassing. You don’t do that to someone of this man’s stature. If you’re too forgetful to remember his name, don’t ask.
Whilst departing the plane, the man with the colossal ring walked ahead of me. I made sure I let him go first. Out of respect. Out of selfish reasons: I wanted to watch his walk.
As he made his way into the airport, I observed every detail of his stride.
I thought to myself, Yep. That’s him. That’s the exact walk of an MLB mangager going to the mound to remove a pitcher. You can’t fake that. He’s been there.
But what was his name?
Upon arriving at my hotel, his name hit me like a thunderclap.
He’s the manager who got into an altercation with Pedro Martinez, and got whirled through the air. He’s the manager who showed class and apologized, with tears in his eyes, for the role he played in it. He said he was sorry and meant it – it wasn’t just a public relations move.
Don Zimmer – that’s his name.
I got on the Internet and searched. Yep, that’s the guy who sat across from me. That’s him.
Years later, when I was a season-ticket holder with the Tampa Bay Rays, Don Zimmer was there, as an advisor.
On more than one occasion, I saw him behind home plate – and unlike the flight to Las Vegas, I always remembered his name and always called out to him.
Zimmer would turn to me, smile, wave and say hello.
Truly, he would.
This is not something a lot of Big Leaguers will do. They pass fans by with expressionless faces, hoping they don’t get asked to sign yet another autograph.
I never asked Don Zimmer for his autograph. To be in a position, more than once in my lifetime, to say hello to him, that was enough.
To have a chance to remember his name and let him know I knew who he was, that was enough.
Baseball lost a great man yesterday. Don Zimmer, age 83, the last remaining player from the original Brooklyn Dodgers.
Just watched a tribute to him.
This man epitomized what it is to be a “professional human being.” Not a professional baseball player or manager.
First and foremost – a professional human being.
That’s something all of us can become. Most people will not make it to the top in a profession.
But ALL of us can become professionals in how we live our lives. All of us can live our lives to the full – if we so choose.
Be a professional human being today – every day.
How do you do that?
Same way you do anything. You practice – and practice – and practice some more.
author of Theatre of the Mind
June 4th, 2014
Back in 2007, when I was talking with Steve Chandler, author of far too many books to list here, he told me a tale that I’ve seen play out in business, sports and much more.
“If someone is playing a great game of darts, the easiest way to get him off target is to pay him a compliment,” he said.
“I think I know exactly what you mean,” I replied.
“Suppose someone hits a bullseye three times in a row,” he continued. “If you say, ‘Wow, that’s three in a row you’ve just thrown. You’re awesome,’ watch how he misses on the very next dart.”
“So true,” I said. “In baseball, when a pitcher is throwing a no hitter or a perfect game, there’s a reason that NO ONE comes up to him and says anything. Literally. NOTHING. Not only that, but no one even sits near him. They don’t want to get inside his lucky aura and disrupt it.”
Okay, how does this message apply to you in your everyday life?
I’ll answer with the following story:
“One day, Bing, was practicing Tai Ji in a park near Beijing. He’d been training each day, religiously, for three years. During this time, no teacher had ever paid him a compliment in any way.
He was only taught to practice hard, to “chi ku” (eat bitter) – as well as to watch his breathing and pay meticulous attention to every detail of every move. Bing did exactly as instructed.
On this particular day, Chen, a well-known Master, came by and watched Bing train for a few minutes.
When Bing finished his set, the Master Chen gave him a thumbs up and said, “Your form isn’t bad.”
Young Bing smiled from ear to ear. Finally, a compliment for all his hard work.
But then the Master continued, “But it’s not so good, either. Keep training.”
Bing’s smile turned to confusion as the Master walked away. He wondered to himself about the meaning of the Master’s words.
Was he playing a game with me? Was he trying to trick me?
Why did he immediately follow his words of praise with words of criticism? Why did he build me up just to tear me down?”
After several days, Bing realized the Master did him a favor. He gave him balanced feedback. He gave him the yin and the yang of the situation.
“Your form isn’t bad.” – this is not really praise – but Bing saw it as such. And look how he immediately reacted. He smiled and felt proud. Why? Because the “compliment” fed his ego.
Unbeknownst to Bing, the ego interferes with success, it puts the focus on yourself instead of upon what you’re working to accomplish.
“But it’s not so good, either.”
This line from the Master was designed to put Bing back into neutral, to make him lose his addiction to praise as well as to help him not take criticism personally.
“Keep training.” This advice was the best thing the Master said to Bing. Keep your focus on what you are doing – not on how you feel about someone’s praise or criticism.
Back in 2005, at one of my seminars, I taught the following:
“Remain emotionally neutral about both praise and criticism, yet wise enough to see how either can be used to your benefit.”
I still think the same way today on this matter.
Beware those who flatter you, who tell you how great you are, who praise and coddle you. These people are not going to lead you to success.
Find the coach who tells it to you like it is, the one who wants you to succeed far more than he wants to hear you tell him how great he is.
I realize the above isn’t practiced too much in society today. And that’s precisely why there will never be tens of millions of people running around who’ve mastered something.
P.S. Want to truly master something? – then go here.
June 3rd, 2014
Not sure what age each of us learn the three dumbest words ever uttered. For some it might be four years old while it strikes another at age six.
Regardless of when you start using these words, the effect is the same. Your mind freezes. You go numb. You stop learning. You even stop searching for answers.
“What are the three dumbest words ever uttered?” you ask.
“I don’t know,” I reply.
“Huh? I thought you said you knew the three dumbest words. Do you or don’t you?”
“Okay, what are they then?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? Stop playing games with me.”
“I’m not playing games. I’m telling you the truth.”
“Okay, great. So what are they then?”
“I don’t know.”
“Uggh. Enough of you. I got better things to do with my time.”
Alright, a tiny spin-off of “”Who’s on First?” by Abbot and Costello – and not nearly as good, I might add, but I think you get the point.
Play a little game with yourself to really feel how true the above is.
Read the following questions along with the dumbest of answers:
Who’s the first president of the United States?
I don’t know.
Okay, what type of grass is that you have surrounding your
I don’t know.
Alrighty then, what type of car is that you’re driving?
I don’t know.
How much do you weigh?
I don’t know.
How tall are you?
I don’t know.
Are you stupid?
I don’t know.
Sadly, this is what a lot of people have reduced themselves to in the Zombie whilrd surrounding us.
“I don’t know” means “I don’t care” and “I don’t want to learn.”
Now, I realize there are probably only a few people on this planet who never use the words “I don’t know” – and I’m NOT one of them – yet.
I catch myself using these words far too often – but as soon as I do, a switch gets flipped and I begin to ask questions. Or I follow the three words with – “but I’ll find out.”
“I don’t know – but I’ll find out.”
One of the reminders I’d like to give you about the power of your brain is as follows:
In your forebrain, you have a reticular activating device that Dr. Maltz called your servo-mechanism. This servo-mechanism automatically guides you toward the goals you have in mind – and/or to answers for the questions you are asking.
And so, if your stock answer to questions is “I don’t know” – your servo-mechanism pursues the goal of “shutdown” or idiocy instead of knowledge.
On the other hand, let’s say you refuse to say “I don’t know” – or you do but you quickly add, “but I’ll find out.”
Guess what happens?
Your servo-mechanism sends out energetic missiles designed to bring you some really good answers.
If you’re a writer, let’s say you’re facing a blank page. That ever happened to you? Um, everyday, right?
Okay, if you begin your day with, “I don’t know what to write” your goal-seeking mechanism searches for something called “not knowing what to write.” And this leads to something called “writer’s block.” In reality it’s writer’s wrong thinking.
How would I counter the words, “I don’t know what to write?”
How about the following:
“I don’t know what to write – but it’s coming to me.”
“I don’t know what to write – until I start writing.”
“I don’t know what to write – but if I just start typing a bunch of B.S. onto the page it’ll come to me and I’ll be fine.”
I’d like to challenge you to go beyond the words “I don’t know.”
I know. It can be hard, especially when you want to take a brain break.
So start with one area, one thing and one question.
What can I do today to achieve my goal?
I don’t know – oops. Caught myself.
I don’t know but I’m going to find out – right now – and when I do it’s going to be AWESOME.
Give it a whirl my friend.
author of the Nightingale-Conant audio/DVD program,
Theatre of the Mind
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