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June 17th, 2012

Father’s Day Flashback

Note: Two days ago, Early to Rise featured a piece I wrote for Father’s Day in 2007. As I read the article I was caught totally off-guard. I’ve written many emails over the past 12 years, and it’s easy to lose track of what you wrote. And sometimes, it’s not just “what” I wrote, but an overwhelming feeling of “WHO” wrote it.
This is what happens when you’re in THE ZONE. You’re living in the present moment to such a degree that no ego is attached to what you’re doing. Reminders or flashbacks are wonderful. So, I’m thankful to ETR for republishing this one – and I think it appropriate to send it your way once again. After all, if I forgot I wrote this one – chances are you’d like to re-read it as well.

Best Advice a Father Can Give

It hit me like a ton of bricks.

I couldn’t believe I’d “missed” it before. I’d read the book many, many times – but this time was different. A “secret”
was revealed to me – and today I’m going to give it to YOU.

If you are open and receptive to this passage – you can expect a major breakthrough from what you are about to read.

I suggest you be OPEN.

Here’s the passage:

“Psychologist David Seabury says that the best piece of advice his father ever gave him was to practice positive mental imagery – immediately and “on cue,” so to speak, whenever he became aware of negative feelings. Negative feelings literally defeated themselves by becoming a sort of “bell” which set off a conditioned reflex to arouse positive states of mind.”

Now read this passage again. It comes from the 35-million copy best-seller, Psycho-Cybernetics.

Pay particular attention to the following words: “the best piece of advice his father ever gave him…”

Those words set the tone for for what the rest of the passage reveals.

Why. Because whenever something is the “best piece of advice” someone can give you – especially your father, it had better be GOOD.

In reading this passage I not only see this as the best advice I can give my son – but myself, and everyone I teach at my seminars and in my coaching programs.

So many people wonder why I am always so calm, cool and collected. Many wonder how I am able to speak before a crowd in a non- chalant, totally relaxed way and still have everyone totally riveted.

Most of the reason is because I have no thoughts of resistance when I speak. I’m not concerned about offending anyone. I’m not even trying to get people to like me. I am simply ME, take it or leave it.

Very few people are this way. They’re trying to figure out how to get others to approve of them or like them. Not a good strategy because the more you NEED others to like you the less they will like you.

Same goes with money. The more you NEED it – the more it will stay away from you. Money and friends go where they are wanted – not where they are NEEDED. There is a world of difference between want and need. One attracts. The other repels.

Even if you think you NEED money or NEED friends, so long as you have this thought you are in a repelling state of mind. Never NEED anything. Want is all you want. Want comes from a vibration of “I’m happy already and I’d like to have this, too.” Need comes from a vibration of “I’m miserable and frustrated and I need this thing to make me happy.”

Become aware of negative NEED feelings when they arise – and if and when they do – learn, through practice, to have these feelings immediately trigger the thought to change your vibration into a “feel good” one.

Most people have never been taught this by their fathers – or by any other teacher. They’ve been taught to set goals, to have a burning desire, to be optimistic and have a positive attitude.

But what do you do when you look at your bank statement, or your finances and you immediately begin to feel bad? What do you do when the reality of your situation begins ruining your day? What do you do when you’re feel frustrated, fearful and worried? You do what Dr. Seabury’s father told him to do and what I’m telling you to do.

First, you “recognize” that you are feeling bad.

Second, you understand that this “feel bad” vibration REPELS what you say you want. Your want is not a want. It’s a need that comes with the expectation of something outside of yourself making you happy.

Third, you recognize that this “feel bad” imagery sends a signal to the Universe that you cannot be happy “for no particular reason.” And that’s not good.

There is a balancing act you are to learn between having a burning desire and having a desire that burns you.

On the one hand having a burning desire creates the necessary mind-set that will create the thing you want. On the other hand, if the desire is connected to “I’m miserable unless I have this thing” – then you are chasing success and that success will always run faster than you do.

Your objective is to attract success; not to chase it. Chasing success is repelling success. You never get what you are chasing. At the end of the month you always come up short; you always need a quick fix. And fixes don’t fix anything.

Several years ago a man sent me an email in which he said I was “chasing the almight dollar.” I had no idea what he was talking about. I couldn’t even form a mental image of myself doing what he was writing about.

What the man was saying was a reflection of what HE thought I was doing.

He was wrong. When I chased the almight dollar – and I did that for years – I had no money. When I stopped chasing and learned to attract it – it flowed into my life so fast I was nearly knocked over.

Continually alter and improve your mental pictures so that dollars are chasing you. Anytime you begin feeling as if you’re no longer attracting – then look at what you’re picturing in your mind and see if you’re repelling more than you’re attracting.

At all times the forces of attraction and repulsion are at play. It’s simply a matter of how strong the forces are. If you’re repelling energy is stronger you go deeper into debt. If your attraction force is stronger you get wealthier. If both are equally strong, you feel “stuck.”

Now the question is, what do I do if I am repelling more than I’m attracting?

The answer:

1. You change the way you feel by changing the mental picture you have of your situation. Everytime you feel the negative feeling, it’s an alarm that triggers a positive one. A bell goes off inside. “Uh, oh. Not good. Change the mental picture.” You do this over and over and the feel bad vibe lasts less than a second and you’re back to feeling good. Essentially, no one will ever know you even visited the feel bad emotion. It was “here and gone” in the time it takes to click a new photograph.2. Begin each day with Theatre of the Mind exercises so that you go through the whole day without resistance. Don’t just read positive messages or books. DO the exercises. Stand before the mirror and speak. Picture what you want when you speak. Sit in a chair and use your creative imagination. Recall previous successes and link them to your future.

3. Have a burning desire in mind, a goal. But at the same time don’t expet the goal to give you happiness. You don’t let the desire burn you by feeling bad if you don’t have it yet. In fact, even though you WANT the goal and put your heart and soul into creating what you want – you are also able to “walk away” from the goal emotionally. There is no expectation of your desire giving you anything other than the thing you desire. For example, if you want more money – you don’t expect more money to give you happiness. You simply want more money – and you put yourself into happiness mode

If you’re happy even though you don’t yet have in your possession the thing you want – then you are attracting it to you.

If you’re unhappy because you don’t yet have in your possession the thing you NEED – then you are repelling it.

So get happy NOW – not later.

Recognize that fear, frustration and angst are only there to help you change course. They’re there to help you see that your mental picture is off-target. Put the right mental image back onto the screen of your mind and watch how the Universe lines things up in your favor.

Quick note: Theatre of the Mind is a technique I’ve championed with much success. I’ve find it to work for virtually any area of your life. You can learn to use it in the powerhouse Zero Resistance Living System.

Rise Up!

Matthew Furey

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